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Bipolar Questions

Posted by jonespeony @jonespeony, Jul 7, 2022

Hello all,

I'm writing as the ex-partner of someone with bipolar disorder, and I'm working to try and learn more about it.

Long story short, my ex ended our relationship out of the blue after she had a medical scare (that perhaps was a trigger for this mood shift). She did this even though her closest friends and family members told her she was making a mistake. The medical scare ended up not being as serious as the doctors thought, and so she is now feeling a lot of relief. I can only imagine she was immensely stressed and scared during the month of time when the outcome was unknown. (Note - she is medicated, in therapy, eats well, exercises to manage moods.)

My first question is, do the behaviors below seem like a bipolar episode?
- seemingly impulsive decision to end our relationship
- pushed away close friends and family members
- was suddenly cold & distant towards me - tone shifted, body language shifted.
- days before the doctor appointment, she told me she was so in love, was telling her friends how happy she was, was excited for our future, etc.
- When I talked to her, it's like her body was present, but her mind was gone - she just stared off into space, wouldn't make eye contact, barely responded.
- had trouble sleeping after the appointment, was extremely tired.
- didn't talk to any friends/family about the breakup after it happened.
- Acted like she was FINE when spending time with friends - to the point where they are somewhat concerned.

My second question is, if someone is experiencing a (hypo)manic/depressed/or mixed features episode, once the stressor is removed, does the person come out of the episode quickly? Or is it a slow recovery back to a baseline? What is your experience?

Thank you in advance for your help & patience with my questions.

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Profile picture for celia16
celia16 | @celia16 | May 29 6:41am
In reply to @saracha "I was diagnosed Bipolar and Borderline in 2020 by a psychologist. Nobody told me I was..." + (show)
Profile picture for saracha @saracha

I was diagnosed Bipolar and Borderline in 2020 by a psychologist. Nobody told me I was Bipolar. I only recently found out because I was looking at old ER records. The clinic at the time got sold and finding my medical records was difficult, actually still trying to get. I felt very angry because it felt like a part of me that I should have known. The two together are insufferable. I can’t manage it. Talk therapy has never helped (13+ years of it), I’ve been put in a group home as a teen and watched overnight in the ER. No stays because I have children now and I just can’t do that. I’m graduating a PHP tomorrow but it feels so docile. Like it only targets minor depression and other minor symptoms. Anxiety and major depression have been with me for my whole life. I feel like it was a waste. I will soon be starting a DBT program and trauma therapy finally after years of asking for help. Please tell me there is light at the end of the tunnel. I have a complex trauma history and everything too so it doesn’t help. How can I help manage Borderline and Bipolar?

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@saracha , have you verified the notation in your medical record from the ER is correct? In reviewing my own medical records, as well as those of my parents as their caregiver, I have discovered plenty of mistakes. I’d explore how and why they wrote that, especially when you were not informed. Best wishes with your treatment and congratulations on your graduation!

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diverdown1 | @diverdown1 | May 29 7:38am
In reply to @saracha "I was diagnosed Bipolar and Borderline in 2020 by a psychologist. Nobody told me I was..." + (show)
Profile picture for saracha @saracha

I was diagnosed Bipolar and Borderline in 2020 by a psychologist. Nobody told me I was Bipolar. I only recently found out because I was looking at old ER records. The clinic at the time got sold and finding my medical records was difficult, actually still trying to get. I felt very angry because it felt like a part of me that I should have known. The two together are insufferable. I can’t manage it. Talk therapy has never helped (13+ years of it), I’ve been put in a group home as a teen and watched overnight in the ER. No stays because I have children now and I just can’t do that. I’m graduating a PHP tomorrow but it feels so docile. Like it only targets minor depression and other minor symptoms. Anxiety and major depression have been with me for my whole life. I feel like it was a waste. I will soon be starting a DBT program and trauma therapy finally after years of asking for help. Please tell me there is light at the end of the tunnel. I have a complex trauma history and everything too so it doesn’t help. How can I help manage Borderline and Bipolar?

Jump to this post

@saracha DBT is a great way to start after PHP. DBT changes the way the brain works and helps to learn how to look inside as well as being part of a group of others that understand. I have been in trauma therapy for a long time. It is a process. Baby steps, but you can do this! Complex trauma lacks research, but I know that there is a light that shines on this journey. I am learning to ground myself when my thoughts start spinning out of control. Due to complex trauma, there are a lot of conversations going on inside of my head. I use anger as a shield. We develop survival skills over time with complex trauma. Usually, if I am triggered and I become really angry, I know that that anger is stepping up to protect me. It is usually fear based. You will learn so much in DBT as well as therapy. Thank you so much for writing and please do so again!!

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bewildered | @bewildered | May 29 8:49am

A little advice which may be hard to hear. Try and see this new freedom as a new chance at life, and move forward from this painful part of your past instead of trying to understand ‘why’ you broke up. Good luck to you.

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shmerdloff | @shmerdloff | May 29 9:22am
In reply to @saracha "I was diagnosed Bipolar and Borderline in 2020 by a psychologist. Nobody told me I was..." + (show)
Profile picture for saracha @saracha

I was diagnosed Bipolar and Borderline in 2020 by a psychologist. Nobody told me I was Bipolar. I only recently found out because I was looking at old ER records. The clinic at the time got sold and finding my medical records was difficult, actually still trying to get. I felt very angry because it felt like a part of me that I should have known. The two together are insufferable. I can’t manage it. Talk therapy has never helped (13+ years of it), I’ve been put in a group home as a teen and watched overnight in the ER. No stays because I have children now and I just can’t do that. I’m graduating a PHP tomorrow but it feels so docile. Like it only targets minor depression and other minor symptoms. Anxiety and major depression have been with me for my whole life. I feel like it was a waste. I will soon be starting a DBT program and trauma therapy finally after years of asking for help. Please tell me there is light at the end of the tunnel. I have a complex trauma history and everything too so it doesn’t help. How can I help manage Borderline and Bipolar?

Jump to this post

@saracha
Definitely Light. Look in the area of Trauma leading to powerful defense mechanisms such as splitting (borderline) and bi-polar. Donald Kalsched) Forget the labels for a minute.
Your "diagnoses" may really be the ways your brain re-wired itself to protect you from the traumatic explosions. Your work now, using all methodologies including DBT, CBD, Vagus nerve stimulation, philosophy, Mayo connect, Zen meditation, EMDR, horseback riding, as Woody Allen says WHATEVER WORKS, is to let the brain know things are OK, if they are, and it can go forward to it's original face-or as near as possible.

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Phoenix | @kudzu | May 29 9:51am
In reply to @ponygirlnd "@saracha please seek out an Equine Assisted Psychotherapist(EAP) and if nothing you can get to, at..." + (show)
Profile picture for ponygirlnd @ponygirlnd

@saracha please seek out an Equine Assisted Psychotherapist(EAP) and if nothing you can get to, at least get on a horse. Take lessons on a bareback pad instead of saddle. There’s a connection between the movement of the horse at a walk to our brain that calms trauma, and increases thinking and decision making a utilities as well as speech. The. There’s just that wonderful feeling of empowerment. Hope you get to trail ride too.

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@ponygirlnd
Also a service or therapy dog would be good.

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saracha | @saracha | May 29 10:31am
In reply to @celia16 "@saracha , have you verified the notation in your medical record from the ER is correct?..." + (show)
Profile picture for celia16 @celia16

@saracha , have you verified the notation in your medical record from the ER is correct? In reviewing my own medical records, as well as those of my parents as their caregiver, I have discovered plenty of mistakes. I’d explore how and why they wrote that, especially when you were not informed. Best wishes with your treatment and congratulations on your graduation!

Jump to this post

@celia16 thank you! And I was diagnosed by a psychologist and they never mentioned it to me. My psychiatrist had agreed with the bipolar. But I didn’t know about any of this until like a month ago. I’m still working on getting those medical records. It’s been very hard to do though.

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