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Anyone have suggestions for elderly parent who refuses to take meds?
I am the primary caretaker for my 99-year-old mother whose cognitive abilities have been deteriorating more in the past few months. She does not have dementia in the sense that she recognizes everyone/her daily life, history etc. but her short-term memory is very poor and she asks the same questions (eg: What time is it? What day is it? What are you doing today? Did you talk to [sibling] today?) all day long. I manage everything in her life - finances, healthcare, meals, maintenance, transit, clothing etc. - and medications. I order them, organize them and give them to her. About a month ago, she started debating with me about having taken them, and then refusing to take them. This has now become a regular thing. My brother suggested I have her sign her name in the morning and evening when she takes them so she has some agency. That worked for a couple of weeks and this evening she signed her name, I handed her the pills, and she looked right at me and said, “You already gave those to me, I’m not taking them.” I showed her the paper with her signature - made no difference. I have all the pills in view and they are marked Monday-Sunday and times of day. The morning pills were gone and the evening pills were in the cup I handed her. It made no difference - she refused. Suggestions?
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Maybe you can put them in her favorite pudding.
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4 ReactionsGood for you for taking care of your Mother! That's so good of you! It's a lot of work I know but she's worth it! I took care of my Mom for 15 years until she died at age 69. It was a lot of work but I was glad I could do it. About your Mom not wanting to take her pills, could you mash them up and put them in something that is easy to eat like applesauce? I know you don't want to trick your mother but perhaps it's the only way to get her to take them. Also do talk to her doctor about this issue. There may be something he could suggest that would help. Perhaps there are some pills that could be discontinued such as cholesterol pills. Does she really need to take those at this age? The doctor would know this. It also helps to review the side effects of her medications and over the counter supplements to see if any of the side effects could be affecting her attitude about not taking her pills. You can do this research easily at the Mayo Clinic website.
Prayer also helps. Just ask God to help with your Mom and he will. After all, he made her and he can fix her. I'll say a prayer for both of you.
I wish you the best.
PML
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3 Reactions@bessjf @pml @kaylin7 Just a quick note: NEVER crush pills unless you’ve spoken to the doctor or a pharmacist. This medication can undergo a change in it’s make-up and not be what you want.
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4 Reactions@bessjf From what you wrote, it sounds as though your mom still has most of her smarts and, if this is so, she can refuse her meds. You can bypass this quandary by asking her doctor to cancel most of her meds and just explain why. Or you can safely put them away until she asks about them. You don’t want your caretaking to be an endless fight!
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2 ReactionsI found it very helpful to have a machine, like Hero or others, to remind and dispense pills after your loved one pushes a button. It gives them a sense of control and autonomy. My husband would hear the reminder, which goes off every 5 minutes, until your loved one pushes the button, and then the machine dispenses the pills in a little cup. I would just tell him his machine was calling him. And with Hero, you rent it monthly so if it doesn't work, you can return it.
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4 Reactions@caseyharv Thank you, that’s an interesting idea.
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