Caregiving: Anyone else doing this alone?

Thank you for your response. Sadly, my husband passed away on Sunday Feb 23 at the hospice Good Samaritian House. I drove him there on Wednesday, got to visit with him on Friday and we were planning to up on Sunday when I got the call that he had passed. So I never got the chance to tell him good bye. I knew before he went there that he was nearer to the end. I did not want him to die at home and I wasn't able to give him the care he needed. The Good Samaritan house were able to give him more pain meds to keep him comfortable, and they could bathe him and he had to have a catheter in. This place had 10 beds but he was the only patient there at that time. So he had the undivided attention of the nurses. They were so kind and had a wonderful faith in God. He could not have been in a better place. We had the funeral yesterday and it went well. As well as a funeral could go. Today, I am just sitting in my pajamas feeling rather numb. I know there will be lots of paperwork but with the Lord's help, I will get through it. Thank you again.

So sorry for you loss! Hugs!

Thank you for your response. Sadly, my husband passed away on Sunday Feb 23 at the hospice Good Samaritian House. I drove him there on Wednesday, got to visit with him on Friday and we were planning to up on Sunday when I got the call that he had passed. So I never got the chance to tell him good bye. I knew before he went there that he was nearer to the end. I did not want him to die at home and I wasn't able to give him the care he needed. The Good Samaritan house were able to give him more pain meds to keep him comfortable, and they could bathe him and he had to have a catheter in. This place had 10 beds but he was the only patient there at that time. So he had the undivided attention of the nurses. They were so kind and had a wonderful faith in God. He could not have been in a better place. We had the funeral yesterday and it went well. As well as a funeral could go. Today, I am just sitting in my pajamas feeling rather numb. I know there will be lots of paperwork but with the Lord's help, I will get through it. Thank you again.

I cared for my sweet Mom from 2015 to 2021. She passed away 2 weeks after her birthday on Thanksgiving weekend. I have 2 brothers. One lives in Texas and works all the time. He offered me some support over the phone. My second brother became a problem. He watched my every move since I was taking care of mom's finances. I moved back home with her. She raised 3 kids there and had been there over 60 years. I lived 40 miles away and my only son moved back to my home while I was away. Being the only girl my mom's care was my sole responsibility 24/7.
The Home health care workers were horrible. Some just watched me do everything. Some were to harsh with mom. Some just acted like they didn't care. The agencies started treating me like I was the problem. So I installed cameras in mom's room. Even when I reported the neglect shown on camera the agency did not care. I miss my mom so much. I did the best I could with limited help and resources. Family and the church would offer help but just out of courtesy. Mom stared at me one day and I asked her was she wondering who I am. She said yes. When I told her I am your daughter she weeped. Broke my heart. The other time I regretted telling mom the truth was when her last sister passed away. She mourned and was grief stricken. This started her big decline. After Mom left I became ill as I concentrated so much on her care I didn't do a good job caring for me. But that is what I wanted to do. Give Mom all I could to take care of her needs. God knows my life will never be the same. This hole in my heart still hurts. God bless all the caregivers who sacrifice so much for their love one.

Has anyone hired a person to sit with a family member who has dementia. My dad is almost 88 with moderate /advanced dementia. He has good verbal skills and can go to the bathroom by himself, but can’t be left alone/in the house.m Just need someone to be in the house while he watches tv and serve him lunch. This lady has experience with an agency before she left it to care for her dad who recently died.

I will vet her credentials, but how much should I offer an hour? I know average rate for home healthcare, but this is really just sitting in the house in case of emergency and putting a sandwich on a plate. I value her time , but want to be fair about it. Any suggestions appreciated. This is in NC.

I empathize. I am in the same position with my husband. I have found my only option is to hire a home healthcare aide, which is overkill, but there are no other solutions for me. It’s the easiest job the aide ever had. I don’t do it every day, but at least it gives me a chance to get out of the house.

I have taken the liberty tohire a home health aid every wednesday from 10 to 4. It costs me $25/hr but I find I need it and it is worth it. Sometimes I just go out and drive.