Another load I much carry alone?

I meant ABNORMAL... not NORMAL to have blood in urine - need more caffeint.

It could be a simple UTI or benign prostate enlargement. If he worried you'd have even more to take care of. You have to do it all anyway. I hope it's a simple antibiotic cure.
More caffeine, we know exactly what you mean.
Bless you both.

His reaction is very normal. We had a snake manage to crawl into our house and into our bedroom. I stepped on it before seeing it…my husband was in the room and while I was freaking out he laughed, never even looked at it, and walked into the living room, sat down and proceeded to watch tv with me hollering, help me get this snake…needless to say if anyone was going to take care of that snake it would have to be me. I did manage to go out and get a shovel and take care of business, and I realized right then I was on my own no matter what might come. He is no longer capable of being my rescuer. They lose all sense of empathy. It made me cry.

Sad but true. If you're looking for comfort, a partner to feel what you're feeling, someone who can easily help figure out what to do, well, we've lost that loving, caring feeling. And definitely, someone who isn't phased by red in his urine, or as @labrown post OMG a snake in their room, it's on us to figure it all out. Frankly, that's tiring and frightening but goes hand and hand with the disease. Just no emotional reaction at all. For me, that's one of the hardest things to deal with. The realization that our loved ones have changed, where I'm now questioning every day whether its progressing and whether the lequembe infusions are working. I try not to go there. A ray of sun this morning out on the patio! God's light helping lead out way. We are not alone.
Best, Karla

@labrown So sorry. I know. I know.

So difficult. My husband has remained very modest and still private regarding his bathroom visits. Quite frankly if he had blood in urine I believe he would forget to tell me and would forget the moment he closed the bathroom door. A big load to carry for us caregivers.

@cyds
That lack of empathy did hit me hard, and the hits keep coming.
One caregiver training I went to shared that we are thinking for two and acting for two, so we are tired. Our brains and bodies are tired of carrying this load. We are all getting older, which makes this burden even heavier when we all want more quiet time or time to ourselves.
Just a supportive reply; alas, no answers with helpful suggestions just sympathy and empathy.
(A harvest photo with some of our goodies)

@judimahoney OHHHHH! So beautiful! I miss gardening. We used to have a large, beautiful garden at the community garden behind my husbands work (very nice perk for their employees)

I have a retirement date - 12/31/27. One thing I am looking forward to is getting back into the garden. No time (or inclination, frankly) for the past few years.

Thank you for your kind words and support. The pic perked me up, too!

@kjc48 Karla - your words are so true. I should have been more prepared. He has never been the most empathetic person, and the reason I was starting down the road of leaving him when he was diagnosed. I'm used to doing the heavy lifting, but I am surprised by his reaction. To me it is so weird. Thank you for your kind words and support.

@labrown YIKES!