Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD)

Posted by ocp11 @ocp11, Nov 19, 2018

I recently stared my freshman year of high school. Talkative and excessively hyper are words that have always been closely assosciated with me. Also, lack of attention was a topic often talked about between my teachers parents, and a goal they often set for me. My parents, who I don’t blame whatsoever, dismissed these as issues requiring a doctor and figured I would grow out of this, which makes sense considering these were in my elementary days. Now, atleast 4 years later, I still experience all of these issues and more, at a heightened amount. As far as attention, I feel like I have no choice and fall victum to it. I can be paying attention to the most interesting thing and boom, my imagination swoops me out of wherever and I can’t pull my head out of the sky until it falls. I never felt weird in my hyperness, but my friends would often be like “chill” and I would be confused because I didn’t realize I wasn’t being chill. Anyways, to sum things up, I think I might talk to my parents and pediatrician, but I don’t want it to to seem like a cry for attention or such sorts. Should I talk to my parents/doctor about it or is this a normal experience for high schoolers? If I should seek help about this, I don’t really know how to. How do I?

@dorisena

When a person says that only your doctor has the knowledge to diagnose you, that is a dangerous statement. I studied for years to figure out how to live with my disordered husband, and even though my doctor was interested, we were never able to get my husband any help. I resorted to pills at bedtime to get me through a traumatic life until I read on the web one night about Narcissism. I read until morning, shaking all over, and discovered that I could diagnose since I had lived with the problem for my entire marriage. No one in the family believed my stories that happened in private. My husband was a highly admired apparent success and even one son criticized me and said I wasn't demanding enough to get cooperation.. I lived in this traumatic stress for 50 years and can't tell my story to anyone or I will be called a crazy liar. My husband lied daily about everything in the end. I felt relief at times that he lived in a dream world because it brought comfort to his insecurity and misery at not being an automatic millionaire. He was economically illiterate most of the time and believed that money automatically comes in the door when a business achieves a certain level, without any effort or management. I survived with prayer.
Added to this, he was an alcoholic, showed signs of obsessive compulsive disorder, developed dementia, and showed signs of Parkinson's with his trembling. Oh, I forgot to add the untreated diabetes and the obesity and his denial of having any health problems at all until he died of metastatic cancer of the spine. I can say I never quit on the marriage because I knew there would be no one to care for him. I couldn't dump his care on my son. And I learned to stay safe. That is why I come to these help sites. I get satisfaction out of relating to the need of those seeking help. I can be on the team. Dorisena

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@dorisena I am sorry for all you went through with your husband, I know too well how difficult that can be.

I agree that patients can diagnose. When I was a migraine sufferer, prior to having the Internet, I scoured books and magazines for information on migraines. I once read that patients who suffer from migraines generally know more than most physicians about them, unless the physician is a migraine specialist. I found that to be true. I think it can be true of many conditions, not just migraines. When you have a personal interest, you really tend to research.
JK

Liked by Leonard

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@lisalucier

Hi, @dorisena – since this particular discussion thread is about ADHD, I wanted to inquire whether you, your husband or son have/had ADHD?

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My granddaughter, other relatives. Since my husband was never officially diagnosed with disorders, perhaps I should avoid mentioning my experiences with him on this site. My only point is that living with disorders and studying how to cope with it can make a person quite knowledgeable about caring for difficult circumstances. That is how I survived 50 years of the stress. I will avoid certain replies in the future. My sister's family had genetic problems with ADHD so I was supportive of her efforts to live with the problems. Dorisena

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@contentandwell

@dorisena I am sorry for all you went through with your husband, I know too well how difficult that can be.

I agree that patients can diagnose. When I was a migraine sufferer, prior to having the Internet, I scoured books and magazines for information on migraines. I once read that patients who suffer from migraines generally know more than most physicians about them, unless the physician is a migraine specialist. I found that to be true. I think it can be true of many conditions, not just migraines. When you have a personal interest, you really tend to research.
JK

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Very wise, I totally agree JK.
Jake

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@dorisena

My granddaughter, other relatives. Since my husband was never officially diagnosed with disorders, perhaps I should avoid mentioning my experiences with him on this site. My only point is that living with disorders and studying how to cope with it can make a person quite knowledgeable about caring for difficult circumstances. That is how I survived 50 years of the stress. I will avoid certain replies in the future. My sister's family had genetic problems with ADHD so I was supportive of her efforts to live with the problems. Dorisena

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@dorisena None of us here are medical professionals, we just relay our own experiences. Your experiences with your husband were real and it sounds as if you did do some research on them yourself. My son and daughter both had ADD, my son ADHD, but it was never diagnosed until they were in late HS. My husband was opposed to admitting it, but I did a lot of reading and knew they did. My daughter coped fairly well in the school setting but less well in daily living, whereas my son is just the opposite. My point is, do not feel you can't speak of your own experiences since they were not officially diagnosed. This is a very understanding group of people.
JK

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@contentandwell

@dorisena None of us here are medical professionals, we just relay our own experiences. Your experiences with your husband were real and it sounds as if you did do some research on them yourself. My son and daughter both had ADD, my son ADHD, but it was never diagnosed until they were in late HS. My husband was opposed to admitting it, but I did a lot of reading and knew they did. My daughter coped fairly well in the school setting but less well in daily living, whereas my son is just the opposite. My point is, do not feel you can't speak of your own experiences since they were not officially diagnosed. This is a very understanding group of people.
JK

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Thanks, JK. I tend to be a very helpful person when I have studied and had years of experience. My daughter says I sometimes overdo it a little, but I feel like a member of many teams on these sites. It is a good feeling to care about others problems. Dorisena

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@dorisena

My granddaughter, other relatives. Since my husband was never officially diagnosed with disorders, perhaps I should avoid mentioning my experiences with him on this site. My only point is that living with disorders and studying how to cope with it can make a person quite knowledgeable about caring for difficult circumstances. That is how I survived 50 years of the stress. I will avoid certain replies in the future. My sister's family had genetic problems with ADHD so I was supportive of her efforts to live with the problems. Dorisena

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@dorisena – thanks for the further information about your granddaughter and other relatives having ADHD. Since you have personal experience with multiple people with this condition, do you have any thoughts for @ina123 who is seeking ways to manage ADHD without medication for a young person?

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My experience is that medication or no medication is an individual decision based on the circumstances, and that varies as well. I am not pro or con on the subject, but the effects of too much sugar in the diet affects some children as well. I have seen that happen. My granddaughter begged to go off the meds because of headaches for the summer and then refused to take them again when school started. She had a school reading tutor whom she responded to and got along well in some subjects but not in math. In high school she was reevaluated by a psychiatrist and he recommended no meds. She went to an easy college and learned to work around her "learning disability" whatever that means and then transferred to a big state college where she thrived because she wanted to be there, graduated and is thriving in her chosen career job. She is a 'work horse" and I think her hard work ethic does more good than anything.
She is a people person and we are very happy for her. She will always be a person who doesn't stay on one thought for very long. The psychiatrist guessed that she could learn to work around the problem and that it could be genetic in nature. Perhaps he was right. Another friend was a good worker and his ADHD seemed to go away in young adulthood. We will see. I know one friend who thinks he has outgrown his ADHD but he has been an unstable employee. People seek definite answers for indefinite problems. We just keep working on it. Dorisena

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@dorisena

My experience is that medication or no medication is an individual decision based on the circumstances, and that varies as well. I am not pro or con on the subject, but the effects of too much sugar in the diet affects some children as well. I have seen that happen. My granddaughter begged to go off the meds because of headaches for the summer and then refused to take them again when school started. She had a school reading tutor whom she responded to and got along well in some subjects but not in math. In high school she was reevaluated by a psychiatrist and he recommended no meds. She went to an easy college and learned to work around her "learning disability" whatever that means and then transferred to a big state college where she thrived because she wanted to be there, graduated and is thriving in her chosen career job. She is a 'work horse" and I think her hard work ethic does more good than anything.
She is a people person and we are very happy for her. She will always be a person who doesn't stay on one thought for very long. The psychiatrist guessed that she could learn to work around the problem and that it could be genetic in nature. Perhaps he was right. Another friend was a good worker and his ADHD seemed to go away in young adulthood. We will see. I know one friend who thinks he has outgrown his ADHD but he has been an unstable employee. People seek definite answers for indefinite problems. We just keep working on it. Dorisena

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@dorisena When my children were younger we found that artificial coloring caused children to be hyper much more than sugar. A birthday party that my children went to had a brownie cake with bright orange frosting (Halloween). Even the children who were generally pretty mellow were off the wall! There were no naps that afternoon!

My son and daughter did end up using a medication in late HS. It made a huge difference. My son was amazed that he could be attentive in class. He stopped taking the meds in college, I suspect he was drinking a bit and smart enough to know to not mix meds and alcohol. My daughter discontinued them too, but I’m not sure why.
JK

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I know nothing about food coloring but read about it some years ago. We only used coloring for Easter eggs and didn't eat the shells. Over the years some of my family had low blood sugar issues so we cut down on sugar quite a bit and avoided much sweets. We always attributed the low blood sugar to stress issues, but perhaps there is a genetic issue as well. My late sister's children and grandchildren had ADHD and OCD problems which were definitely diagnosed as genetic in their father's family. Some of them are not stable adults and most are confirmed alcoholics and do not take meds, which is unfortunate for them. One relative burned down the bedroom at age five, and was later diagnosed with oppositional defiant disorders. He had six specialists on his IEP contract at school and was eventually expelled. I don't know what happened after that. We don't have contact. I have friends whose children excelled in school on certain meds and did well in college. Their work ethic did not develop as well, however. I don't know the reasons behind that. Dorisena

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In some families, alcohol is the cultural drug of choice for just about any ailment and a few manage well with that for everything from a cold to a nervous disorder. My husband viewed alcohol the same as the rest of the world views Aspirin, or other over the counter analgesics. He never went to the doctor because he believed it was a sign of character weakness to not keep working when you felt bad. That was his grandmother's culture. Dorisena

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@dorisena

I know nothing about food coloring but read about it some years ago. We only used coloring for Easter eggs and didn't eat the shells. Over the years some of my family had low blood sugar issues so we cut down on sugar quite a bit and avoided much sweets. We always attributed the low blood sugar to stress issues, but perhaps there is a genetic issue as well. My late sister's children and grandchildren had ADHD and OCD problems which were definitely diagnosed as genetic in their father's family. Some of them are not stable adults and most are confirmed alcoholics and do not take meds, which is unfortunate for them. One relative burned down the bedroom at age five, and was later diagnosed with oppositional defiant disorders. He had six specialists on his IEP contract at school and was eventually expelled. I don't know what happened after that. We don't have contact. I have friends whose children excelled in school on certain meds and did well in college. Their work ethic did not develop as well, however. I don't know the reasons behind that. Dorisena

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@dorisena As I said, my son had ADHD and my daughter ADD. I discovered through them that I had ADD myself. When I was in school and did not get grades commensurate with my IQ I was thought to be a "lazy student" or an "underachiever".

Both my son and daughter have done excellently in the working world, he is a VP of a business and she is a content strategist for a major financial firm. They both have an excellent work ethic. We always knew if we could push/shove/drag our son through school he would succeed in the working world. Even when he had jobs while in school he was highly regarded.

I suspect the people you are referring to had more problems than attention deficits.
JK

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I noticed long ago that our bodies were born not perfect, so I suppose that includes the mind. I really keep the mind connected to the body and think of it all as a whole. So one arm or leg is longer than the other, and so on. My brother was dropped as a baby, and he had a hematoma on the side of his head. I often blamed his tantrums and illogical thinking on that accident because I couldn't reason out why he would think and act the way he did. Amazingly, he quit the attacks and tantrums late in life and was mild and friendly to me. He realized that the fuss wasn't worth it. With problems like ADHD some people can learn to work around it and lead successful lives. But not if they choose to live in denial and belligerent thinking. I don't have the answers. But I have learned some understanding. And I was successful teaching students in a vocational school. We rescued some with a change in desire and attitude. Dorisena

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@dorisena

I noticed long ago that our bodies were born not perfect, so I suppose that includes the mind. I really keep the mind connected to the body and think of it all as a whole. So one arm or leg is longer than the other, and so on. My brother was dropped as a baby, and he had a hematoma on the side of his head. I often blamed his tantrums and illogical thinking on that accident because I couldn't reason out why he would think and act the way he did. Amazingly, he quit the attacks and tantrums late in life and was mild and friendly to me. He realized that the fuss wasn't worth it. With problems like ADHD some people can learn to work around it and lead successful lives. But not if they choose to live in denial and belligerent thinking. I don't have the answers. But I have learned some understanding. And I was successful teaching students in a vocational school. We rescued some with a change in desire and attitude. Dorisena

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After raising three children, countless neighbor children, five grandchildren and a husband, I am firmly convinced that children learn maladaptive behaviors from adults early in life just by observing. Whether or not we realize it, we teach them bad habits, bad words, bad attitudes, and some good behaviors without much effort. I was a full time mother, so I easily had great success, now that I analyze my past experiences. If you take away that opportunity in young people, they are free to exhibit whatever behaviors they come up with. Few children are self taught to become exemplary citizens, kind, loving, and generous. They get it from us. Add a genetic problem to the mix, and yes, they are more problems than attention deficits. I am an old lady now. Yes, I have attention deficits. I don't think about what I am doing, and I do dumb things like falling on the floor. I have to get the squad to get me back up. It is embarrassing, and the root cause is that I don't pay attention. But I do not have a diagnosed disease and I am not yet feeble. I have to work on it. I need to get an alarm to wear and I loathe the idea. I plan to sew a small cloth bag to carry it, like a purse on a strap. I am still working on the problem. Dorisena

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@contentandwell

@dorisena As I said, my son had ADHD and my daughter ADD. I discovered through them that I had ADD myself. When I was in school and did not get grades commensurate with my IQ I was thought to be a "lazy student" or an "underachiever".

Both my son and daughter have done excellently in the working world, he is a VP of a business and she is a content strategist for a major financial firm. They both have an excellent work ethic. We always knew if we could push/shove/drag our son through school he would succeed in the working world. Even when he had jobs while in school he was highly regarded.

I suspect the people you are referring to had more problems than attention deficits.
JK

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Yes, alcohol abuse is a very old, common problem and still very socially acceptable. I like a glass of wine myself now and then. It is fruit juice, well preserved. It is the root cause of my relatives' problems and some have been to court because of the problem. Some of us choose to do something about it, and some do not. It destroyed my beautiful husband. It does not control me, however. Dorisena

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Hi, @ocp11 – just wanted to check in with you and see how things are going? How are the challenges with attention and feeling excessively hyper recently?

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