Fellow caregiver's - I need help, what do I look for in a sitter?

Thank you, Becky.
So far, it goes well. My hubby likes his aide. And so do I!

in reply to @anotherday I am so sorry about your dilemma. I was fortunate to have a neighbor who knew my friend Joyce, who has dementia and to whom I am her primary caregiver, who was able to step in for a week while I went to visit my sister whose husband also suffers from dementia. Have you checked with the Alzheimer's Association? They may have a local chapter which may be able to provide you with some assistance with your problem trying to find someone to take over for you. Not easy that is for sure. Best of luck.
And, for what it is worth, after I returned home Joyce said to me: " I never want to see so and so again!" And to add insult to injury, after I placed a thank you note on my "friend's" door, she later delivered the note back to me, and had written on the back, "Thank you, no thank you." Just one more person to check off my list, and for a very good reason. Now Joyce and I have a new running joke and that is, "Thank you, no thank you."

Sorry for the delay in answering folks, however, I've listened to what you all have said and have been busy following your information and advice. BTW - I knew I could count on you all, great information. Thank You!

Slysi - you and I think alike on the nutrition is everything route. We're using organic fermented turmeric capsules and have zero problems with it. Have also discovered Golden Milk, also has turmeric plus ginger and cinnamon. Pretty tasty in the mornings pre-coffee. BTW - an added benefit of turmeric is that it tones down inflammation. Less inflammation, less aches and pains...win, win. (Less grouchy husband.)

I've not researched "Lion's Mane." Sounds like a mushroom, maybe?

Keeping our loved ones engaged with puzzles, reading and music. All great suggestions. I hope others are following this because you give some great advice. It took me awhile to figure out that what he reads or see's on the screen, be it television or computer directly affects his moods. Whew, wish someone would have told me that several years back. As to puzzles, Loco Sudoku is his current challenge, reading - I print quite a bit and we do receive magazines and a weekly newspaper. I try for topics that may be interesting, informational and upbeat. If the newspaper is creating bad moods, it does have a way of evaporating. I think music is a loop type thing with hubby, he'll go for some of which you specifically named for a little while, then he gets tired of that and I switch it over to either some good Irish music or very calming and peaceful music. I have learned music can be a good influence, but it can turn negative depending on the mood of the moment. Beets - I'll have to find that in a pill form for hubby, he didn't go for the mix in water version. The Omega 3's though, yeah buddy, we shoot for cold water wild caught fish of some kind at least twice a week. I can tell a huge difference when we have ample Omega 3's and when we don't, but I also cheated a little and found a good Krill Oil supplement for the days when we don't eat the seafood.

Providence1960 - Yep, agencies are the better choice. I started out thinking that I could just find someone needing a little extra cash in their pocket. Then I got to thinking and praying about it. I want to know who this is coming into my home. Who are they really? Do they have a criminal record? Do they have ulterior motives for wanting into people's homes? What makes them qualified to take care of my husband? I need time out, and away from here, but I want to be comfortable driving away too. What is it going to take for me to drive away from here with confidence? I need to find someone who will at least be compatible with him, spending time here, listening to his stories, setting lunch in front of him, keeping him off of the roof and generally safe above all else. I also need someone level headed, who could handle an emergency if one arose. I don't foresee this happening, but do we ever? I need someone with compassion and caring. He'll tell that he's hurting and he probably is, this someone has to know what to do, when to do it and then distract him until the pain has gone. (Meaning simply, be responsible enough to hand him his pain medication as needed, but not too close together and then keep his mind elsewhere while it has time to kick in.) I need someone here who is not going to be glued to their phone the entire time A-N-D not be posting anything about here or the situation here to any social media. Guess that boils down to I'd like this person to have some respect for our privacy.

Back to your recommendation of using an agency...I agree 100% now. I did the comparison research and found that an agency eliminates 99% of the worries. The sitter's actually do got through a State Police background check, some training/classes and are vetted ten ways from Sunday before they're ever sent into someone's home. The prices were actually a little below what I was expecting believe it or not. The only sticking point so far is that some caregivers/sitters don't want to come this far out. Some will though.

fgp - thank you, yes I do neeeeeeeed a break. I haven't had more than a few minutes away from him just a couple of times since last Winter.

Janet7 - I did look up Senior Services, unfortunately they don't have anything near us. Thank you for the recommendation though. I've listened to everyone on the comments and been glued to the computer and phone at every opportunity.

Becky - I saved you for last. You've got some great input girl. I'm hoping to add a little that I found through what you suggested. I knew about AARP, but there's also a new version called AMAC. That stands for Association for Mature Americans. While AARP has more relevant information to what my current need is, AMAC has quite a bit that people with other situations may find useful. Through what you suggested that I look into, I did find out that there's help if you know where to look. I called these various agencies which you suggested, every single one of them were helpful and so very understanding. You did ask which one stood out the most and it turns out that it wasn't an agency such as AARP or AMAC or the senior center, yet it was an individual who works for a sitter service who was willing to spend time with me on the phone and answered so many questions and gave such valuable input or should I say insight to my current situation. She was wonderful. I honestly felt like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders by the time I hung up. Thank you also Becky for your very kind words about me. In all honesty, I've felt like such a wus on a lot of this, I just haven't known what to do or where to turn for the answers and the help I so desperately need. I did know though that I could post my woes on this forum and good people would be here before too long. I miss my husband, I could always turn to him when I needed some help.

@anotherday I’m so glad to hear that you are feeling better! The suggestions from this group have been outstanding! THANK YOU Caregivers: Dementia Group!!
And thank you @anotherday for bringing up this very difficult topic.
Now, will you keep us updated as you learn new things?

Alright, so I've encountered a little setback. I had narrowed the field of potentials down to 2. I typed their names in on the computer to see what I might come up with...just being cautious. Name #1 came up with nothing, I tried multiple search engines and zero, zilch, nothing. Person did not appear to exist unless the name given was an alias. The other potential candidate showed quite a history, criminal background no less. Not good. Antennas up folks, beware. Plan B - am reaching out to others who have someone helping in their home or who have had someone helping in the recent past. For what it's worth the potentials both were the owner's of the offices/franchises who provide actual sitters.

I found Senior Services online and depending on your income, they provide a sitter for my husband and it’s free. They had a sitter set up for 3x weekly but we aren’t ready for this help yet. We are having money problems and they offered to help us get Medicaid. I would ask your doctor to recommend a dependable sitter, probably within an agency, and if you can afford to, and make sure you get a sitter with experience. When we do get a sitter, I will be with my husband assessing how well the sitter relates to him and her knowledge of Dementia. And most of all, how her attitude is. I can tell if she really enjoys what she does or if it is a chore she is not happy about. Check out an agency with BBB - that is very helpful. There are tons of caregiving agencies online and they are not cheap. There are various ways to keep him in the house. I found many on Amazon.
God bless you!
Jan

Also, there is
Alzheimer's Association
https://www.alz.org/help-support