My husband has only weeks to live

Posted by overwhelmed @overwhelmed, Apr 16, 2016

My husband & I just found out that he has only weeks to live. He only took sick a little over three weeks ago. We found out just a week ago that he had colon, liver, lung & bone cancer. Then four days later (Monday that just past) we were told that he only had weeks to live. After the shock wore off, and the tears still flowed, I asked about months.They then took some more blood work, at which time they said the results would tell them for sure. a little over an hour later they confirmed it would be just a matter of weeks. He is in liver failure.
I have been trying my best to support him, however, I myself became disabled 8 years ago & he has been my only support all of these years! I have a chronic, incurable nerve condition that leaves me in severe and constant pain.
I can never seem to say the right thing. I hesitate to bring things up that need to be taken care of ASAP (i.e. a DNR) among other legal matters, despite us both being advised by both the Oncologist as well as the Palletive Care nurse. When I wait for him to mention something he discusses it but then actions nothing. I am afraid that he will end up getting too ill to address these things. How do I get him moving to ensure that we have all of our matters taken care of???

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Kay | @irvkay312 | Apr 24, 2016

I thought to write since I myself have faced situations like that. Presently, since November 2015 they put me on Palliative Care (a step before Hospice); even though when my cancer was diagnosed in 2009 they gave me 5 years to live. Well, I'm still here and seeking each new day with promise. Faith, hope and perseverance. One of the biggest turning points in my life was not simply learning to live with epilepsy and migraines as I grew and adjusted during those years. However, when I became a memmber of The Employer Committee of The President's Committee on Employment of People with Disabilities (a year after the Americans with Disabilities Act was signed by the eldest President Bush. I sat for three and a half years on the committee that taught big and small business about the ADA. Not to bypass Minnesota's State Disability Council and Minneapolis's Disability Council. Over that time I met and spoke with blind, deaf, MS, MD, Polio, Cancer, Epilepsy, Migraines, etc. and learned how these people made it to achieve their goals and pursuits. It also taught me the reality "that there was always someone worse off than me that needed help." As a factory manufacturing employee, I was able to shed new light to your upper eschelon management so that they could learn and understand the value of a disabled employee.

Best wishes to you. As hard as it may be try to take one day at a time and find items that may be able to replace (even temporarily) you anxiety, worry, fear, depression, etc.

Kay