How about a laugh, (hopefully)

Posted by Leonard @jakedduck1, Dec 31, 2018

I believe laughter is the best medicine. Laughter has actually been scientifically proven to help people with depression issues.
Let’s give it a try so we can all get happy and feel better. Many Epilepsy forums I’ve been on had joke sections. I was probably the biggest joke of all since I didn’t get a lot of the jokes. They said the jokes couldn’t be above 4th grade level for me to understand them so my jokes may be rather simplistic but let’s give it a try.
Have a lovely day everyone,
Jake

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@covidstinks2023

So in other words, "If you are TRUE to your teeth, they won't be FALSE to you?" The poem was hilarious. Thanks for sharing!

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Sign in dentist office:
“Only brush the teeth you want to keep”.

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@joybo99

Sometimes it's genetics. That's my story and I'm sticking to it! PS. I'm down to a single candy dish-- but of all things, it contains caramel creams! 😳😅

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@joybo99
Genetics, of course. What else could it possibly be?
It must be torture to survive with only one candy dish.
Maybe you have some of the other five main food groups. Candy, cake, pies, cookies, & pastry.
I love caramel; Caramellos are good, Carmel & chocolate. Speaking of…..
Enjoy,
Jake

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I have 0 self-control. ZERO. Therefore I keep almost nothing besides those decadent candies in a jar.
And I swear I only allow myself to eat 2 per day. 😉
Now every couple weeks I will order from Domino's --NOT cuz their pizza's any good, but because I can order their 9-piece chocolate chip brownie thing which is pure sugar amazballs.
I wrap it wax paper and pick out a piece OR 2 at a time.
TMI??!!

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@captboat

Sign in dentist office:
“Only brush the teeth you want to keep”.

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I wish I'd seen it

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A woman was so angry with her husband because he was going to be late coming home yet again! She’d had it and decided to write her husband a note.

The note said that she was fed up with this behavior and was going to leave…and to not bother following her! Then she hid under the bed to see his reaction!

After a while her husband arrives home. She could hear him in the kitchen before he finally came into the bedroom. From under the bed, she could see him walk towards the dresser to pick up the note she’d written. After a few minutes, he wrote something on it before picking up the phone and calling someone.

“She’s finally gone! Ya, I know. It’s about time. I’m coming to see you. Put on that cute dress I like. I love you so much and can’t wait to see you. We’ll do all those fun things we planned. ”Then he hung up the call, picked up his keys and left.
The wife heard the car drive off and crawled out from under the bed. She was so hurt, angry and filled with rage! With tears in her eyes she grabbed the note to see what her husband wrote to her!

It said, “I can see your feet. We’re out of bread. I’ll be back in 10 minutes.”

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@loribmt

A woman was so angry with her husband because he was going to be late coming home yet again! She’d had it and decided to write her husband a note.

The note said that she was fed up with this behavior and was going to leave…and to not bother following her! Then she hid under the bed to see his reaction!

After a while her husband arrives home. She could hear him in the kitchen before he finally came into the bedroom. From under the bed, she could see him walk towards the dresser to pick up the note she’d written. After a few minutes, he wrote something on it before picking up the phone and calling someone.

“She’s finally gone! Ya, I know. It’s about time. I’m coming to see you. Put on that cute dress I like. I love you so much and can’t wait to see you. We’ll do all those fun things we planned. ”Then he hung up the call, picked up his keys and left.
The wife heard the car drive off and crawled out from under the bed. She was so hurt, angry and filled with rage! With tears in her eyes she grabbed the note to see what her husband wrote to her!

It said, “I can see your feet. We’re out of bread. I’ll be back in 10 minutes.”

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🤣🤣😂

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@jakedduck1

@joybo99
Genetics, of course. What else could it possibly be?
It must be torture to survive with only one candy dish.
Maybe you have some of the other five main food groups. Candy, cake, pies, cookies, & pastry.
I love caramel; Caramellos are good, Carmel & chocolate. Speaking of…..
Enjoy,
Jake

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....candy dish, oh candies I buy don't make to a dish, - —have the bag open in the car on the way home! If you are out of candies, have one of the main food groups per Jake! 🙂
(Pic per “local” pet save organization)

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@loribmt

A woman was so angry with her husband because he was going to be late coming home yet again! She’d had it and decided to write her husband a note.

The note said that she was fed up with this behavior and was going to leave…and to not bother following her! Then she hid under the bed to see his reaction!

After a while her husband arrives home. She could hear him in the kitchen before he finally came into the bedroom. From under the bed, she could see him walk towards the dresser to pick up the note she’d written. After a few minutes, he wrote something on it before picking up the phone and calling someone.

“She’s finally gone! Ya, I know. It’s about time. I’m coming to see you. Put on that cute dress I like. I love you so much and can’t wait to see you. We’ll do all those fun things we planned. ”Then he hung up the call, picked up his keys and left.
The wife heard the car drive off and crawled out from under the bed. She was so hurt, angry and filled with rage! With tears in her eyes she grabbed the note to see what her husband wrote to her!

It said, “I can see your feet. We’re out of bread. I’ll be back in 10 minutes.”

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If you just made this up, it's a master stroke. I had a great laugh!

Thanks!

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(Not so nice one-liners, from my “nice” daughter)

There’s no need to repeat yourself.
I ignored you just fine the first time.

I have selective hearing.
I’m sorry you were not selected.

And

Dear Ghosts: if you can move stuff around and flicker lights
Then you can use a mop and broom!

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