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Dealing with verbal abuse: Any suggestions?

Posted by nrocpop @nrocpop, Jul 20, 2021

I am the primary caregiver for a husband that has been critical and judgmental for a long time. Having cancer seems to be an excuse to be even more verbally abusive. He does not treat anyone else like this and generally does not act out if anyone else is around. Nothing I do is ever good enough and nothing I do counts for anything. If someone else sends a message or some by to visit, they are a major hero. Any suggestions? I cannot say that I find caregiving rewarding like some people do

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Mentor
Becky, Volunteer Mentor | @becsbuddy | Sep 15, 2023
In reply to @dollyme "Me, I would move him to MC, you can visit him a couple times a week..." + (show)
@dollyme

Me, I would move him to MC, you can visit him a couple times a week and the rest of the time spend in peace.

Over the years you have taught him how to treat you and what behavior you would accept, toxic as it may be.

I can assure you as his dementia worsens so will his abuse. Not my rules just how it works.

Go to Agingcare.com the posters will enlighten you and help you make some sound choices for you, your well-being. Statics say that some 60% of long term caregivers die before the patient!

Take care of you!

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@cmael Before you run to a memory care unit, continue to work with your husband’s doctor. Ask about resources in your community. Does your husband go to adult day care? Maybe the extra stimulation, both mental and physical, would tire him out. Do you keep the house quiet and non-stimulating in the evening? That works so well for me when I can’t sleep at night.
Remind yourself that you’re doing a great job in a very difficult situation! Members are always ready to help you. Please continue to reach out.

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