I'm just tired. . .so tired of this everyday battle

Posted by silverfox1455 @silverfox1455, Jul 21, 2023

Hello. I'm new here, but I thought it would help me to vent. I have been struggling with depression for 5 yrs, and just recently got diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder. I have been on 4 different meds, and will soon be 5 with this new medicine not working. Daily I struggle to get out of bed. . .hurting and wondering about the daily life future. I also battle PTSD which doesn't make matters any better at all. I'm just so tired. I'm tired of feeling a little better, and then just getting worse all the time. I'm tired of constantly hurting 24/7. I'm tired of feeling like I'm not good enough, or do enough for anyone in my life. I'm tired of constantly wondering if one of the following days in the future I finally bite the bullet. I constantly work and do projects to try to keep me busy, but I know the projects can't last forever...I'm so tired of constantly breaking down emotionally, and everyone in my life just doesn't understand. This isn't a cry for attention, this is a scream for help. Thank you to all took time to go through a glimpse of what I'm enduring.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Depression & Anxiety Support Group.

@gma43

I am so grateful for your reply and the others whom replied so quickly this
early a.m. it feels good to know someone is listening and cares if I live
or die. I not only have the afore mentioned mental struggles, but I was
diagnosed with endometrial cancer and sarcoma morular metaplasia and just
yesterday I was told that my gall bladder is full of gall stones which is
why I've lost so much weight in the last year. The cancer was diagnosed on
my son's birthday, July 7, 2020. Get this...I still have not had the total
radical hysterectomy that they said I needed asap???!! I'm pissed and
scared. And I have colonic diverticula and C.O.P.D.and hypo attenuation of
the white matter in my brain caused by chronic microvascular ischemic
disease. I just broke my right foot last night because I have epileptic
seizures as well. My spine is deteriorating at diff. rates with Schmorles
nodes growing around it. My vision is constantly blurry and I have
migraines. I'm only 57 and was healthy 3 years ago...now I'm on
hospice....and crying inside everyday..help I need a doctor who cares to
HELP PLEASE

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@gma43, if you are able to travel, you may consider requesting an appointment at Mayo Clinic. There are locations in Rochester, MN, Jacksonville, Florida and Phoenix, Arizona. Each facility has top cancer centers and teams that work collaboratively across specialities.

You don't need a doctor's referral and can refer yourself by calling or filling our the form to schedule a call with an appointment coordinator. See the phone numbers and the form to get started here: http://mayocl.in/1mtmR63

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After battering depression and anxiety for decades I'm finally on a good medication compination and have never felt better. Hang in there. Remember Dr.s are PRACTI CING medicine they aren't God!

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@mitfit

Oh yes. We all feel that way. When we are able to count our blessings, that helps. And focus on what we can do rather than what we can’t. Sometimes I try to think what this can teach me, what am I supposed to learn?

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I know how you feel😔

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I can relate to your snuggles because you have hit the Hammer on the Head for me. For so long I have been going through the same thing, looking for answers to all the wrong people 😭. Feeling lost, stupid or I am over reacting 😔. So I suffered in silence 🤐 years of it. Different Psy doctors. No one one is on the same page defeated I am now. Lets not forget the various Psy Meds that I'm on was, I tried to stop taking. Can't do some of the things I use to do. I'm tried to.

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P. S. Can't find any counselors services anywhere today. Not under my Health Insurance unbrella . My friends don't want to talk to me anymore 😭. Feeling like I am loosing my mind. Can't relate to people anymore or they can't relate to me either. Lets talk about that!

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@floralou

After battering depression and anxiety for decades I'm finally on a good medication compination and have never felt better. Hang in there. Remember Dr.s are PRACTI CING medicine they aren't God!

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can I ask what the medication is, please?

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@sheila69wg

P. S. Can't find any counselors services anywhere today. Not under my Health Insurance unbrella . My friends don't want to talk to me anymore 😭. Feeling like I am loosing my mind. Can't relate to people anymore or they can't relate to me either. Lets talk about that!

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God Bless You sweet lady. Praying for you right now. I am so sorry for the lack of compassion of others that have hurt you. "A person can't give you what that do not have to give". That meaning, if someone is never sick, they don't get sickness nor or they very compassionate. If they have never had a headache, they don't understand a migraine. I do not battle what you do, but, I understand people not understanding. I have had fibromyalgia for 28 years, other stuff and now long Covid. I look fine, so it must be all in my head right? Wrong. It's real....it's tiring...it's painful...My faith in the Lord, prayer warriors and the info on this website have gotten me through. I have a few close friends that battle a lot of the same health issues as I do and we talk and pray for each other and we tell each other about new things that work. I want you to know that I care. You are loved by God who made you very special. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. There is no one else like you that can contribute to this world. We need you. You are loved on this website!

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Don’t ever expect anyone to understand, even if it’s family, unless they have lived through this. I’ve had depression longer than I can recall at least second grade, and seventh grade, I was suicidal. Two years ago, I tried to take my life, not long after that, still suicidal by desperately awake one night, looked up any possible new research or progress/experimental even treatment for medication. resistant depression. Six weeks of ET see shock therapy did nothing and I have tasted every SSRIRSSNISRRNI, antipsychotic combination, your name blah been on it. Nothing has worked until I researched something that day. It was new then and now I believe there is a brand name but it’s approved by the FDA. Simple KETAMINE infusion with pen nasal spray 100mg/ml. I knew ketamine was used in veterinarian practice and rarely end last hope treatments for Pain, but our primary pain relief was ketamine on the battlefield in Afghanistan. Interosseous ketamine before any opiates were always used because it keeps up the blood pressure and associates your mind from the body and cuts the paint off. Strangely it works the same way for both types of pain. Depression can be worse than any other pain, the day I went in for the first infusion, I remember I was unable to stop crying and told the nurse I’m so tired I cannot do this every day fighting to want to live. She cried with me, inserting the IV needle, and literally within five drops And less than one minute. I went from suicidal, nearly suicidal two completely what I would imagine as any other stable person or experience in life. Not euphoria, but it all lifted. There was color in the world. I had hope. I wanted to jump out of the bed and go do something except I didn’t know whose legs those were in front of me. it is a anesthesia drug usually before has been used for pain during surgeries or for severe burns, not responding to opiates or one opiates cannot be used. However, from what I’m understanding, it has a action of inflating, a re-inflating the dendrites off of each axon, causing your circuits in the brain to rewire innocence. that’s the research now understood. I don’t care as long as it works and it does. After the initial six weeks are now two weeks, intense round I simply get one booster every six months and keep nasal spray on hand for the dark nights. I won’t ever be depression free, but is absolutely tolerable. In my quality of life is to the point I don’t wear fake smiles, and I don’t offer obligatory laughs, a belly laugh now I am more human than ever. If you haven’t looked into this, I would highly recommend , the key is finding one who does this and cares for your well-being emotionally and quality of life. Many psychiatrists just throw prescriptions that you might experience at least. It was and is a game changer. Check it out.

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@losingfaithinmd

Don’t ever expect anyone to understand, even if it’s family, unless they have lived through this. I’ve had depression longer than I can recall at least second grade, and seventh grade, I was suicidal. Two years ago, I tried to take my life, not long after that, still suicidal by desperately awake one night, looked up any possible new research or progress/experimental even treatment for medication. resistant depression. Six weeks of ET see shock therapy did nothing and I have tasted every SSRIRSSNISRRNI, antipsychotic combination, your name blah been on it. Nothing has worked until I researched something that day. It was new then and now I believe there is a brand name but it’s approved by the FDA. Simple KETAMINE infusion with pen nasal spray 100mg/ml. I knew ketamine was used in veterinarian practice and rarely end last hope treatments for Pain, but our primary pain relief was ketamine on the battlefield in Afghanistan. Interosseous ketamine before any opiates were always used because it keeps up the blood pressure and associates your mind from the body and cuts the paint off. Strangely it works the same way for both types of pain. Depression can be worse than any other pain, the day I went in for the first infusion, I remember I was unable to stop crying and told the nurse I’m so tired I cannot do this every day fighting to want to live. She cried with me, inserting the IV needle, and literally within five drops And less than one minute. I went from suicidal, nearly suicidal two completely what I would imagine as any other stable person or experience in life. Not euphoria, but it all lifted. There was color in the world. I had hope. I wanted to jump out of the bed and go do something except I didn’t know whose legs those were in front of me. it is a anesthesia drug usually before has been used for pain during surgeries or for severe burns, not responding to opiates or one opiates cannot be used. However, from what I’m understanding, it has a action of inflating, a re-inflating the dendrites off of each axon, causing your circuits in the brain to rewire innocence. that’s the research now understood. I don’t care as long as it works and it does. After the initial six weeks are now two weeks, intense round I simply get one booster every six months and keep nasal spray on hand for the dark nights. I won’t ever be depression free, but is absolutely tolerable. In my quality of life is to the point I don’t wear fake smiles, and I don’t offer obligatory laughs, a belly laugh now I am more human than ever. If you haven’t looked into this, I would highly recommend , the key is finding one who does this and cares for your well-being emotionally and quality of life. Many psychiatrists just throw prescriptions that you might experience at least. It was and is a game changer. Check it out.

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Ketamine works and hopefully someday it will become affordable. Insurance won’t cover IV Ketamine. It’s $600+ per infusion around here which is impossible for a lot of people. Ketamine works and can relive depression but many continue to suffer because the cost of treatments is too high.

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@sheila69wg

P. S. Can't find any counselors services anywhere today. Not under my Health Insurance unbrella . My friends don't want to talk to me anymore 😭. Feeling like I am loosing my mind. Can't relate to people anymore or they can't relate to me either. Lets talk about that!

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I feel the same way as you . 😢😢😢😢 No one wants to talk to me anymore . I take meds but scared to make changes because of withdrawals symptoms and I don’t want to experience anymore pain right now . My husband has cancer .
I am the one falling apart .😢

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