I'm just tired. . .so tired of this everyday battle

Posted by silverfox1455 @silverfox1455, Jul 21, 2023

Hello. I'm new here, but I thought it would help me to vent. I have been struggling with depression for 5 yrs, and just recently got diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder. I have been on 4 different meds, and will soon be 5 with this new medicine not working. Daily I struggle to get out of bed. . .hurting and wondering about the daily life future. I also battle PTSD which doesn't make matters any better at all. I'm just so tired. I'm tired of feeling a little better, and then just getting worse all the time. I'm tired of constantly hurting 24/7. I'm tired of feeling like I'm not good enough, or do enough for anyone in my life. I'm tired of constantly wondering if one of the following days in the future I finally bite the bullet. I constantly work and do projects to try to keep me busy, but I know the projects can't last forever...I'm so tired of constantly breaking down emotionally, and everyone in my life just doesn't understand. This isn't a cry for attention, this is a scream for help. Thank you to all took time to go through a glimpse of what I'm enduring.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Depression & Anxiety Support Group.

Sorry you're going through this and I am in the same boat. I feel like I'm never going to get better and that I'm a burden to everyone around me. So I isolate myself and have agoraphobia. And a few other mental health diagnosis. Do you have any advice? I've had 2 brothers commit suicide and my dad took but he survived. I'm now that same age and I'm so tired. I feel like I'm in the way and causing stress to others. I can't see a way out

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@gma43

Sorry you're going through this and I am in the same boat. I feel like I'm never going to get better and that I'm a burden to everyone around me. So I isolate myself and have agoraphobia. And a few other mental health diagnosis. Do you have any advice? I've had 2 brothers commit suicide and my dad took but he survived. I'm now that same age and I'm so tired. I feel like I'm in the way and causing stress to others. I can't see a way out

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Hi, worried about you. are u doing any better? Are u seeing a counselor? Maybe a grief counselor? I admit a good one is hard to find, but they're out there. I've been on depression meds for most of my adult life. I have lost my husband and my mother just recently. life is a hard road. I am so alone. I don't have any miracle advice. It does help to have at least 2 good friends to talk to. Don't ever feel like a burden; most people don't know what to say. If not for my 4 cats, I would feel like life isn't worth it. but I have a responsibility to care for them. Have u thought about caring for a pet? They can give u so much love. Anyway, I hope good things for u.

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@dbamos1945

Depression breeds need for more sleep… or perhaps a distorted personal perspective of the word “need”!
I want to thank you for reminders of what to do to urge the depression away. I will try to include a bit of exercise each day and be stricter on the nutritious value of my snacks and what time of day I indulge. We can all make better choices and benefit a cheerier mood. Just smiling in the bathroom mirror is a good start. Best to you…

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That’s a lovely picture of you, @dbamos1945!

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@rashida

That’s a lovely picture of you, @dbamos1945!

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Thank you Rashida! It was taken soon after my cancer diagnosis last October. I need to gain back 10 pounds to repeat this pic. Thank you for your kind words!!!

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@audame

My last resort will be spravato
(Sp?)
But have lots more drugs to try
My psychiatrist told me about it
I would even consider ECT therapy but I do not want to lose my memory
That’s all I have left
Have you heard of this this ketamine drug?

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I had strict advice to stay away from ketamine. This is from my lyme practice in NY. please read about it and there is an element in it that will cause more damage other than memory loss or further memory loss. I know myself and even after losing our youngest daughter in an auto accident I could not tolerate psychiatric meds. My brain is wired differently and I’m pretty strong in just plowing thru the worst. It’s the bacteria of lyme that is just killing me.

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@gma43

Sorry you're going through this and I am in the same boat. I feel like I'm never going to get better and that I'm a burden to everyone around me. So I isolate myself and have agoraphobia. And a few other mental health diagnosis. Do you have any advice? I've had 2 brothers commit suicide and my dad took but he survived. I'm now that same age and I'm so tired. I feel like I'm in the way and causing stress to others. I can't see a way out

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@gma43 Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. You are brave to say what you put in your post. Remember that. And we feel you are important here. So many of us have been or are where you say you are right now. You can see that we are reaching out to each other, for support and caring. Having a purpose to get up each day, to look forward to being there, is so helpful. You recognize that you have concerns, and need some help. That is a big first step. Who can you call on to help you out?

NAMI [Nat'l Alliance of Mental Illness] 1-800-950-6264 can help, and their website can help you find a support group: https://nami.org/Support-Education/Support-Groups

Will you let me know what you decide?
Ginger

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@gma43

Sorry you're going through this and I am in the same boat. I feel like I'm never going to get better and that I'm a burden to everyone around me. So I isolate myself and have agoraphobia. And a few other mental health diagnosis. Do you have any advice? I've had 2 brothers commit suicide and my dad took but he survived. I'm now that same age and I'm so tired. I feel like I'm in the way and causing stress to others. I can't see a way out

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Here's Mayo on Agr.... https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/agoraphobia/symptoms-causes/syc-20355987
I'll with things that I ALONE can do first: CBT from the last para, A fancy but simple way out of our often muddled way of thinking; Cognitive and Behavior and
Therapy. You see YOU can be your own therapist of sort. No, it's a substitution but often they are booked, cost money a lot.
But You can start to think thru AND change behavior on your own. There is (one of many) a great books; Critical Thinking for Dummies. It's well written for the average person.
Mayo site symptoms of fears -- of being left alone if u felt an anxiet attack, diarhea etc can be GRADually confronted in easier steps: Start with Ten steps, or one, outside your for ten seconds. Remind yourself YOU are of value to offer to not just yourself but ALSO others. It's critical to latch onto a reason that gets your value from being of utility to Others. This is what is called a Meaningful life -- key to sustain our will to do what we sincerely and honestly believe will make life better for you-and-others.

Good luck my friend!

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@faykatsfour

Hi, worried about you. are u doing any better? Are u seeing a counselor? Maybe a grief counselor? I admit a good one is hard to find, but they're out there. I've been on depression meds for most of my adult life. I have lost my husband and my mother just recently. life is a hard road. I am so alone. I don't have any miracle advice. It does help to have at least 2 good friends to talk to. Don't ever feel like a burden; most people don't know what to say. If not for my 4 cats, I would feel like life isn't worth it. but I have a responsibility to care for them. Have u thought about caring for a pet? They can give u so much love. Anyway, I hope good things for u.

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I am so grateful for your reply and the others whom replied so quickly this
early a.m. it feels good to know someone is listening and cares if I live
or die. I not only have the afore mentioned mental struggles, but I was
diagnosed with endometrial cancer and sarcoma morular metaplasia and just
yesterday I was told that my gall bladder is full of gall stones which is
why I've lost so much weight in the last year. The cancer was diagnosed on
my son's birthday, July 7, 2020. Get this...I still have not had the total
radical hysterectomy that they said I needed asap???!! I'm pissed and
scared. And I have colonic diverticula and C.O.P.D.and hypo attenuation of
the white matter in my brain caused by chronic microvascular ischemic
disease. I just broke my right foot last night because I have epileptic
seizures as well. My spine is deteriorating at diff. rates with Schmorles
nodes growing around it. My vision is constantly blurry and I have
migraines. I'm only 57 and was healthy 3 years ago...now I'm on
hospice....and crying inside everyday..help I need a doctor who cares to
HELP PLEASE

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@faykatsfour

Hi, worried about you. are u doing any better? Are u seeing a counselor? Maybe a grief counselor? I admit a good one is hard to find, but they're out there. I've been on depression meds for most of my adult life. I have lost my husband and my mother just recently. life is a hard road. I am so alone. I don't have any miracle advice. It does help to have at least 2 good friends to talk to. Don't ever feel like a burden; most people don't know what to say. If not for my 4 cats, I would feel like life isn't worth it. but I have a responsibility to care for them. Have u thought about caring for a pet? They can give u so much love. Anyway, I hope good things for u.

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Please read my latest comment/reply and please help me get help before I
die please I'm begging any and all...

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I have come to the conclusion that every man diagnosed with depression should get tested for low testosterone. Doctors often dismiss this request mine did not. Low testosterone has very similar symptoms, if not the same symptoms as depression. Making it worse most antidepressants suppress testosterone production in men. One of the side effects of low testosterone is depression another is weight gain around the belly, which has be shown to increase depression as well.

My test came back with low to critically low levels of testosterone. I had already begun titrating off of all of my meds. I talked to my two providers and they agreed to supplement my testosterone while I get off the meds that are likely causing the problem. I am being tested every six weeks and so far the plan is working.

I have cut out a number of psych meds and the meds I took for the side effects of those. I have cut back on two of the three big dogs, Effexor and Lithium are now a third lower than they were. The other big dog for me is Wellbutrin but it does not suppress testosterone, so we'll save that for last.

The dose I am receiving is tiny, yet between cutting out meds that were making me sicker and cutting back on others combined with supplemental testosterone I feel the best I have in decades. I exercise two hours a day, I've lost twenty of the sixty pounds I put on in the last two years and I've started a new company, all just because me head is clear. All in the last six weeks. Starting companies is what I do, so it's not that big of a deal. Six weeks ago I couldn't get off the couch.

I have done an extensive amount of research and I believe every man should be tested for low testosterone before taking medication and certainly after taking antidepressants for any length of time. It is a terrible negative feed back loop that causes doctors to prescribe more and more meds to combat a problem that can not be dealt with antidepressants and then the drugs themselves exacerbate the problem. There is no such thing a mental heath there is only health. The body and the mind are one thing. To treat either one is to treat the other as well. Anything else is negligence. Get checked.

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