I'm just tired. . .so tired of this everyday battle

Basic habits, regardless of how you feel, will help you get through. A therapist is a great help, as are anti-depressants. However, habits rather than waiting for motivation or willpower to do things are much more functional. A 'sunshine list' of things to do first thing in the morning: Do hygiene, get dressed. Breakfast of some sort. Take meds and drink a glass of water. Then, your day should include a 20 minute walk outside, a conversation with someone about anything else (not venting), 15 minutes to clean something or do a chore, 15 minutes to do something you enjoy. Structure will help; if you spend all of your time in bed, you will lose strength and health. Make sure you are eating enough good food: avoid unhealthy, processed comfort foods. Diet foods with aspartame have been found to accelerate anxiety! If your home resembles a result of a tornado, get help sorting it out. Managing fear and anxiety should become easier as the rest of your life makes better sense.

Why do we always feel the need to apologize when we survive?

...just my own personal opinion, and even tho I too think of myself as one; really NO ONE is a failure. I think perhaps we do not meet our own expectations of ourselves.. I am guilty of that and feel I “should” do this or “should” to that... I am not really saying I am my own worse enemy. I did not seek these illnesses; I made bad choices but at the time they seems the best way to go; I did not follow instructions or take suggested medications etc etc but really we are not failures and why don’t we think of our accomplishments? We are just too hard on ourselves sometimes aren’t we? I still have covid fears as i was not well enough to have the needles so still wear mask... forces myself to go to a local market with daughters i think possibly 150 people there andI am only one wearing a mask! Am sorry to hear about your husband, mine ill too and with me like I am our quality of life has gone done more than a few notches but still better than many others. One day I can rationalize things but another day is hard to get through and know I am not alone.... sorry if talking in circles, trying to be short but hard with my wandering brain!

Yeah, I do chores to get out of bed,: fill up the water jugs, do some hand laundry, do some shopping. Or I go to my library to get some books. And DVDs. Point is to find things to do. Trust when I say that wasting away in bed is not the way. Spent weeks in rehab seeing people who were really dying do that.

.... reading this comment for some reason made me think of a title I read a few months ago - sorry cannot recall the web site but "may" have been one about fibro- myalgia.

Instead of the heading about "People Faking Illness" (such as excuse to not attending an event, work etc.) whereas many are "People Faking Wellness."
I forget which site but how true and call in sick to have a day off, which is their choice to do.
Conversely, MANY people are going to work, or grocery shopping, helping others etc. when they are truly not feeling at all well..... but get no credit for it, and are not looking for sympathy etc., but because their illness or disability does not "show" they are viewed as being in good health.
Not sure if explaining it clearly. So odd how we judge others and how others judge us isn't it?

You say: "I have never been so lonely in my life yet live with a spouse and 2 adult children within walking distance." and yet you also immediately seem to point out to the Kind of Connection you are seeking that is not simply Being With People, in your next sentence.
So my question is; Since we all are Individuals with our unique tastes, hobbies, interests and strengths and vulnerabilities, have you not explored your close areas or community to share Your Interests? I still try to connect people over meetup.com, for example, in the hope I'll strike a conversation, say in a coffee shop. Or attend talks and community groups promoting what you might like to do, too? It's a sincere way to belong to a group where opportunities for further friendships might spawn. I do that by attending library events but to no avail yet but not giving up -- next one is to join a diabetes support group where I hope to contribute my experience toward avoiding or dealing with it. Even a group along mental health I'm seriously thinking about. So wish me luck --and I wish you luck too!

Yep, that's me. Could be in a room full of people and feel lonely... not alone!

..mulling it over, think it is honestly a "mix"....and no matter whether alone or not, depending on how I am coping, who I am with, what they say to me: I think that's the loneliness I mean? As if I am alone fighting my battles my way .. hard to explain. But I can have spouse and adult children in room and feel .. not part of it all. Maybe lonely is the wrong word. Distant? Removed? Am not sure how to explain it.

Lovely post abuout the Cardinal. I have them at our feeder each day. They all have fresh seed every day the ducks fresh corn. We love nature.

Thanks for posting this well said saying be James Crews.

I know what you are going through
Many of us are in the same boat
When I was sinking ( after 5 years on Prozac) I demanded my doc to add Wellbutrin SL
After a little bit of time getting used to side affects, it did the trick
Unfortunately none of these drugs work forever
All I can say is don’t give up.
I’m at a point that my current meds no longer work
I am ready to set my hair on fire
That is why I just joined this group
It is all trial and error
I am finally convinced that we ALL react differently on the same drug
I have been ready what others say about their experience with certain meds
It is giving me hope
My psychiatrist is very encouraging
You will do better working with a psychiatrist ! They really know their meds
I have started something a week ago
I know it will take 2-3 months to even know if it will work
None of this is probably good news for you, but there is something out there for all of us !
In the mean time, try to stay calm and keep busy
I know it is hard, ( I even joined a gym, and I hate going, but I push myself to walk on the treadmill)
We are all in this together🙏