Anger. Guilt. Anger….cycle

Your thoughts and feelings describe my experience as a caregiver for my husband as well. Thank you

Caregiving can result in a roller coaster of emotions. I've been there too. What I've learned is that those feelings are perfectly normal. What's important is to be kind to yourself. Realize that these are just feelings; they are not you. I often have to tell myself that caregiving is often hard and that's ok. I am learning how to become a better caregiver every day. I forgive myself for occasional angry outbursts when I just react instead of thoughtfully responding, and next time I try to choose a better response. Remember that you are not alone as a caregiver. Use these message boards to vent when needed. We all share your experience.

Sometimes I feel like I don’t know myself anymore.

Extremely hard!

Me, too. And, I really liked my old self much better.

I agree with the original post & all the comments. I too find it difficult not to be hard on myself. I have the most difficulty with my impatience at what Lewy Body has done to my husband & his ability to follow simple directions or understand my answers to his questions. It is particularly difficult as I am into my 5th week with a walking boot & crutches & need help with almost everything. I likely won't be driving until mid-August (it's my right foot). All this (even with extra help) has been very stressful for us, especially him. I'm hoping the "normal" routine, the day-to-day caregiving routine will quiet down the expression of Lewy Body once I'm back driving.

That being said, I always mention to him when I get frustrated & lose my patience, that I'm not angry with him, but I'm angry with Lewy. When he feels badly about my having to do most everything for him (he's physically fine, but the cognition, memory, executive functioning are nearly completely gone), I remind him that Lewy didn't happen solely to him, it happened to us.

my wife has a continual delusion that people come to our basement at night and have parties. and she tells me a woman stands beside the bed at night. i have finally learned to simply tell her "i didn't see them" instead of arguing with her.

i have told her many times to wake me up when this happens, but she doesn't do it most of the time. one night she did wake me up to tell me a cop had just went into the basement. i was able to get her to see that this did not happen, but that was the only time.

it is so frustrating to get up in the morning to be accused of adultery. but i am learning to find other ways to get her "off it", like getting in the car and going somewhere, instead of arguing with her.

a thing i did that helps us is i got us two kittens. she loves animals and watching and interacting with these two rowdy little critters cheers her up a lot.

i'm sorry if this post doesn't help,.

one thing about this whole mess: i have learned what the phrase "one day at a time" means, on the experiential level.

I know exactly that feeling. We’re advised not to argue or try to reason or even get angry, but we aren’t machines. The repetition gets old, the routine gets boring, the weight of having to make all the plans, decisions, and cook all the meals just gets to be too much some days. So I get angry, I argue, we eat leftovers, and sometimes when my husband asks me if I think he’s stupid, I just say yes.
And he doesn’t seem to mind, for which I am very grateful. 😊

Amen. It is easy to hear from others to not be hard on yourself when you do slip up & become angry at times. It is another thing to keep up the effort to not get angry.

We all need to try to forgive ourselves. I find that my husband doesn't even remember when I get angry or when I say "yes" to questions like do I think he's stupid. And I mutter to myself all the time -- it expresses my frustration, anger, etc. without any effect on him.

Never ever did I ever think I would have turned into the person I have become.

I have journaled that the disease has had an affair with my husband. The only way I can describe it. I don’t know him, he’s changed, he disregards me….