No more Driving

My husband cries because I will not ride with him. He got his license back with no restrictions. I tell him he concentrates better when he is alone.
My husband will not talk to a counselor. I have asked him.
I will pray for you and your family.

I assume your husband drives erratically and is a danger to himself and others. I have gone to our neurologist for help and he tells my husband very firmly not to drive. It does seem to calm my husband down for awhile but then he gets anxious about the upcoming driving test and not being able to drive. He too has his driver’s license renewed and that is why he needs to take the driving rehabilitation program which is very thorough and the doctor said their decision about driving will be final. Have you thought about asking your doctor about this test?

Another little tip: Previously my wife's neurologist had given her a "no-more driving" recommendation. Periodically thereafter, she's been saying she's safe and capable (no way that's true... had three fender benders in 2022... luckily no injuries to anyone), and wants to get back behind the wheel.

At last week's appointment with my her GP, I mentioned it to him, and he too explained to her why he agreed with the neuro's suggestion. He took his time, was kind, soft-spoken, and gave her examples of how much brain power it takes to drive safely, and handle anything that may happen on the road on a moment's notice... and the potential consequences to her and others if a driver isn't quick enough, alert enough, or strong enough to do the right thing quickly and in a controlled fashion.

Sometimes hearing the same advice from more than one creditable source is helpful.

/LarryG

Ask your doctor to send an order to a driving rehabilitation program to perform tests to evaluate his driving skills, a program that is affordable and close by. The program is the final decision as to whether he should drive or not.

He dies have an appt with courage kenny driving program on nov 8. His neurologist said he had to be retested every 6 mos.

First, I just chose to not ride with him driving anymore so eventually it began to be routine that I drive.

I keep telling my husband that if there is an accident (especially if someone is injured), no matter who is at fault, if it comes to light that he was driving with an Alzheimer’s diagnosis, it won’t end well for us. We can’t afford this risk. I also said it during a neurologist visit, and the neurologist backed me up.

You could ask your insurance company if they will insure someone who has this diagnosis.

Luckily my husband is still rational so it makes sense to him to not take the risk. Now that I have been doing all the driving, he seems unsure/uncomfortable with the idea of driving himself anymore. We just sort of eased into it.

So interesting to hear your experience. I had not thought of saying that about insurance.
Thank you

My husband took this test after 3 at fault accidents (thankfully no one was hurt) and our sons riding with him telling me he is a dangerous driving. The test showed he was unable to drive. I sold his truck so we only have 1 vehicle. He hates me but I have told him I will leave him if he tries to drive. He is a danger to himself and others and our insurance will cancel us if he has another accident. I have told him I will no longer discuss it when he brings it up. Much like a child sometimes I have to be the bad cop to keep him safe.

I totally get it. I had to schedule this test my Mom, and having the driving instructor, the doctor and the insurance agent say "No more driving." It finally took selling her car to get the point across, and she called me mean for the rest of her life - but after 2 strokes, her brain couldn't process anything that was to her left - like oncoming traffic at an intersection.

Every time she said "Why can't you be nicer, like your sister?" I said, "Why can't you be more reasonable, like your Dad? When he almost had an accident, he gave you his keys and said sell my car"? She would stick her tongue out at me like a little kid, and forget about it for a few days...
Ah, life. Was just talking to my close friend - my cousin, also her lifelong friend, is having memory issues and we're 1000 miles away. We're trying to decide how soon we need to call on her 4 kids (all near her) to get busy assessing what they need to do to help her.
Sue

My husband is scheduled for next week for his evaluation. I feel like this is real progress in this battle. He is not happy about it but he is not fighting it either. I will still drive with him short distances but my children will not especially with the grandchild. We had a family intervention about driving prior to our family vacation. He was resistant then but my daughter said it was still good we did it and she is correct I believe. Moved the needle a bit further in the process. After the evaluation I’ll post the results. Hang in there comrades!!! 😘

Oh and yes his neurologist provided a prescription/order for the driving evaluation and she got in his face about it 🤣 and she said “Its the law with a MCI diagnosis” and she brought it up on her computer screen and printed it out and provided a list of certified Driving rehab specialists.