1. < Caregivers: Dementia

No more Driving

Posted by johnna16 @johnna16, Jun 3, 2023

My husband’s neurologist recommended to him not to drive. I also am trying to schedule him for drivers evaluation. He doesn’t want to do this but once I have appointment I’ll get him to go. I’m hoping he decides to stop driving before the evaluation. I let him know he’s a danger to himself and others etc etc. Does anyone have any suggestions how I can convince him. Fortunately he only drives to the gym 5 minutes away but anything can happen.
Please do not lecture me about he shouldn’t be driving as I already know this. I am asking for any ideas of what can I tell him and yes I can take away the keys but I would like not to have to do it that way.
Also I haven’t been in car with him for months. He was driving fine about 3 months ago. However it’s best for him to stop. He will be 80 this August. His diagnosis is MCI but I think he is in a dementia stage. Thank you!

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bobbisedlmayr | @bobbisedlmayr | Jun 10, 2023
In reply to @johnna16 "I am genuinely sorry for what you’re going through. Some days seem endless. I will keep..." + (show)
@johnna16

I am genuinely sorry for what you’re going through. Some days seem endless. I will keep you in my prayers.

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Thank you its nice to have a place to come and freely talk about what we r going thru.

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janet7 | @janet7 | Jun 10, 2023
In reply to @johnna16 "Thank you. Fortunately he drives to the gym only 5 minutes away But I told him..." + (show)
@johnna16

Thank you. Fortunately he drives to the gym only 5 minutes away But I told him it only takes one block for an accident. Ugh! Thank you again

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One more thing!
I was told when I called to schedule the driving test that there is a waiting list and yesterday I got an appointment for the middle of September. FYI

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1 reply
bobbisedlmayr | @bobbisedlmayr | Jun 11, 2023
In reply to @janet7 "My doctor has sent an order for my husband for a driving test lasting 3 hours:..." + (show)
@janet7

My doctor has sent an order for my husband for a driving test lasting 3 hours: 1 hour for evaluation and 2 hours of driving. Doctor told my husband this will be the final decision for him to drive or not drive.
It costs a couple of hundred dollars but so worth the cost.

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I signed my husband up for courage kenny a private driving school to evaluate just as u described He has appt nov 8. His driving has to be evaluated every 6 mos due to lewy body dementia diagnosis. It costs $500 here. But I am thankful for it. I feel will be more thorough then the dmv test was.

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1 reply
bobbisedlmayr | @bobbisedlmayr | Jun 11, 2023
In reply to @janet7 "One more thing! I was told when I called to schedule the driving test that there..." + (show)
@janet7

One more thing!
I was told when I called to schedule the driving test that there is a waiting list and yesterday I got an appointment for the middle of September. FYI

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Yes a very long wait. I digned up a month ago for nov 9

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windyshores | @windyshores | Jun 11, 2023
In reply to @bobbisedlmayr "I signed my husband up for courage kenny a private driving school to evaluate just as..." + (show)
@bobbisedlmayr

I signed my husband up for courage kenny a private driving school to evaluate just as u described He has appt nov 8. His driving has to be evaluated every 6 mos due to lewy body dementia diagnosis. It costs $500 here. But I am thankful for it. I feel will be more thorough then the dmv test was.

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I initially used a driving school too. I found they were too lenient. Also they cannot take any action.

We used a rehab driving evaluator who did have the authority to take the license away on the spot and let the DMV know.

However a driving school may give a good assessment. My mother would not have listened to it or complied!

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1 reply
bobbisedlmayr | @bobbisedlmayr | Jun 11, 2023
In reply to @windyshores "I initially used a driving school too. I found they were too lenient. Also they cannot..." + (show)
@windyshores

I initially used a driving school too. I found they were too lenient. Also they cannot take any action.

We used a rehab driving evaluator who did have the authority to take the license away on the spot and let the DMV know.

However a driving school may give a good assessment. My mother would not have listened to it or complied!

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What is a rehab driving instructor? Where do you look for one of those? I felt dmv was too lenient. I do think he needs an assessment of where he is at.

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2 replies
windyshores | @windyshores | Jun 11, 2023
In reply to @bobbisedlmayr "What is a rehab driving instructor? Where do you look for one of those? I felt..." + (show)
@bobbisedlmayr

What is a rehab driving instructor? Where do you look for one of those? I felt dmv was too lenient. I do think he needs an assessment of where he is at.

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You get a referral from your MD to the rehab driving eval.

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johnna16 | @johnna16 | Jun 20, 2023
In reply to @janet7 "If your husband stopped driving before the test, that would be a real blessing. I finally..." + (show)
@janet7

If your husband stopped driving before the test, that would be a real blessing.
I finally saw how serious the situation was a few months back and then took action.
I did not want to interfere with his driving, but 2 near accidents convinced me.
The first near accident was when he didn’t see the other car turning into his lane and the other driver honked at us.
He admitted he did not see the other car! Very close call!
The second one was a week ago when he was backing up and did not see 3 teenagers walking right behind him. He admitted he did not see them! That’s when we finally went to our Neurologist to get help and stop him from driving. Doctor said I was the driver from now on and sent the order for the test. My husband knows he shouldn’t be driving and has so far accepted our doctor’s decision.
Prayers for your husband to stop driving.

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Some good news. An advocate put me in touch with someone who assesses MCI/dementia patients for driving in the home. We have appointment this Thursday. I’ll keep you posted how it goes.

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1 reply
janet7 | @janet7 | Jun 20, 2023

I am going to make an appointment with a driving rehabilitation program our neurologist set us up with. It is an hour of evaluation and two hours of behind the wheel in one of their cars. Then we will be able to get a final decision as to whether my husband can drive or not.
He has been quiet and not talking about the test but when I drive, he is constantly finding fault with my driving. Today he finally said he doesn’t want his license taken away and never be able to drive again. I told him he could have a bad accident and we could be sued and lose our home. He understands this but not enough to stop driving. I’m thinking of having him talk to a counselor to help him get through this difficult time.
Please pray for us.

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