1. < Just Want to Talk

How about a laugh, (hopefully)

Posted by Leonard @jakedduck1, Dec 31, 2018

I believe laughter is the best medicine. Laughter has actually been scientifically proven to help people with depression issues.
Let’s give it a try so we can all get happy and feel better. Many Epilepsy forums I’ve been on had joke sections. I was probably the biggest joke of all since I didn’t get a lot of the jokes. They said the jokes couldn’t be above 4th grade level for me to understand them so my jokes may be rather simplistic but let’s give it a try.
Have a lovely day everyone,
Jake

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imallears | @imallears | Jun 18, 2023

@covidstinks2023

Oh my giggles. I'm going to make the rounds with that one. 👏👏
FL Mary

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coffeedrinker | @coffeedrinker | Jun 19, 2023
In reply to @loribmt "What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs Bunny! 🐰" + (show)
@loribmt

What do you call a rabbit with fleas?

Bugs Bunny! 🐰

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Yep, the best jokes are made from scratch.

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1 reply
Mentor
Lori, Volunteer Mentor | @loribmt | Jun 19, 2023
In reply to @coffeedrinker "Yep, the best jokes are made from scratch." + (show)
@coffeedrinker

Yep, the best jokes are made from scratch.

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😂😂

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captboat | @captboat | Jun 19, 2023
In reply to @johnbishop "An Airbus 380 is on its way across the Atlantic. It flies consistently at 800 km/h..." + (show)
@johnbishop

An Airbus 380 is on its way across the Atlantic. It flies consistently at 800 km/h at 30,000 feet, when suddenly a Eurofighter with a Tempo Mach 2 appears.
The pilot of the fighter jet slows down, flies alongside the Airbus and greets the pilot of the passenger plane by radio: "Airbus, boring flight isn’t it? Now have a look here!"
He rolls his jet on its back, accelerates, breaks through the sound barrier, rises rapidly to a dizzying height, and then swoops down almost to sea level in a breathtaking dive. He loops back next to the Airbus and asks:
"Well, how was that?"
The Airbus pilot answers: "Very impressive, but watch this!"
The jet pilot watches the Airbus, but nothing happens. It continues to fly straight, at the same speed. After 15 minutes, the Airbus pilot radios,
"Well, how was that?
Confused, the jet pilot asks, "What did you do?"
The AirBus pilot laughs and says: "I got up, stretched my legs, walked to the back of the aircraft to use the washroom, then got a cup of coffee and a chocolate fudge pastry."

The moral of the story is: When you’re young, speed and adrenaline seems to be great. But as you get older and wiser, you learn that comfort and peace are more important.
This is called S.O.S.: Slower, Older and Smarter.
Dedicated to all my senior friends ~ it’s time to slow down and enjoy the rest of the trip.
Author Unknown

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It’s about time we were acknowledged for the dues we’ve paid!

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coffeedrinker | @coffeedrinker | Jun 19, 2023

This is a true story.
About a month ago I purchased a 0.7 oz bottle of smoked GHOST pepper flakes from my local Trader Joe's.
GHOST peppers are one of the hottest peppers know to mankind.
Cautiously, I sprinkled an absolutely miniscule amount on some food. OMG this stuff is incredibly hot!
I looked at the bottle, 0.7 oz, and thought, "It'll take me the rest of my life to finish this."
So, now several weeks later, I looked at the bottle again and, to my amazement, there was just a little bit left.
Where could it all have gone?
It was as though it had just disappeared. And then I had an 'aha' moment - of course, it's GHOST pepper!

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captboat | @captboat | Jun 19, 2023
In reply to @annewoodmayo "A great contribution to break our FOUR (!) day drought. But the youngs are all right,..." + (show)
@annewoodmayo

A great contribution to break our FOUR (!) day drought.

But the youngs are all right, too. : )

Happy Father's Day to all the dads and near-dads!

Now, who's got some more jokes, stories, and puns???

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Q: How do you make seven even?
A: Take away the “s”!

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covidstinks2023 | @covidstinks2023 | Jun 19, 2023

True Story! A friend of mine's Uncle passed away and I was told about it. He was a precious Christian man. I looked up his obituary online and posted a condolence to his wife and family. I thought, he must have really been sick because he looked nothing like himself in the obituary picture. Later, I spoke with the friend and asked her if he had been sick long. She informed me that she had two uncles by the same name and I didn't know the one that had passed away that I had posted a condolence for! Well, I did post wonderful things about him to his wife! Once it's posted, you cannot remove it online. I know she wonders who in the world I am!

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2 replies
Lagrange 5 | @lagrange5 | Jun 19, 2023
In reply to @covidstinks2023 "True Story! A friend of mine's Uncle passed away and I was told about it. He..." + (show)
@covidstinks2023

True Story! A friend of mine's Uncle passed away and I was told about it. He was a precious Christian man. I looked up his obituary online and posted a condolence to his wife and family. I thought, he must have really been sick because he looked nothing like himself in the obituary picture. Later, I spoke with the friend and asked her if he had been sick long. She informed me that she had two uncles by the same name and I didn't know the one that had passed away that I had posted a condolence for! Well, I did post wonderful things about him to his wife! Once it's posted, you cannot remove it online. I know she wonders who in the world I am!

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What you put out there came from the heart. If you somehow hear from her, you can explain why you posted what you did. Be sure to add how highly you regard your friend and her family and that the dearly departed husband must certainly have possessed the same wonderful family qualities. If there is no further contact, then you have completed a compassionate, and likely mostly accurate, tribute to a grieving wife.

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Leonard | @jakedduck1 | Jun 20, 2023

Having never driven a limo, he asked the chauffeur if he could drive for a while. Well, the chauffeur didn't have much of a choice, so he climbs in the back of the limo and the Pope takes the wheel.

The Pope proceeds onto Highway 95, and starts accelerating to see what the limo could do.

He gets to about 90 mph, and suddenly he sees the blue lights of the State Patrol in his mirror.

He pulls over and the trooper comes to his window.

The trooper, seeing who it was, says, “Just a moment please, I need to call in.”

The trooper calls in and asks for the chief

He tells the chief that he's got a REALLY important person pulled over, and asks how he should handle it.

“It's not Ted Kennedy again is it?” replies the chief.

“No Sir!” replied the trooper, “This guy's more important.”

“Is it the Governor?” replied the chief.

“No! Even more important!” replies the trooper.

“Is it the PRESIDENT??? replied the chief.

“No! Even more important!” replies the trooper.

“Well WHO is it?” screams the chief.

“I think it might be God, Sir,” replies the trooper, “he's got the Pope as his

CHAUFFEUR.”

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1 reply
covidstinks2023 | @covidstinks2023 | Jun 20, 2023
In reply to @lagrange5 "What you put out there came from the heart. If you somehow hear from her, you..." + (show)
@lagrange5

What you put out there came from the heart. If you somehow hear from her, you can explain why you posted what you did. Be sure to add how highly you regard your friend and her family and that the dearly departed husband must certainly have possessed the same wonderful family qualities. If there is no further contact, then you have completed a compassionate, and likely mostly accurate, tribute to a grieving wife.

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Lagrange5, Thank you for your kind words!

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