Pain and Depression

I think it’s normal in the course of chronic pain. It’s difficult to be delightful when hurting so badly. Much less the inability to do normal things that others may take for granted.

What I do when I have screeching moments of incredible pain I allow myself to express the pain by feeling it, but as soon as it reduces intensity I don’t permit myself to get swept away…at least not until the next wave of pain. Its a rollercoaster of emotions. I even get angry at my pain. I call it names. It sometimes feels like it is ruining life or at least changing me to someone who can’t move normally and it makes me sad. I am in between acceptance of life changing because I can’t change what’s happened. So I’m forced to deal with the realities of it and what it can do to change mental outlook. At times all I can to is stay off my feet. I hate it. It is so limiting. There are times I force myself to be on feet regardless of the pain because I mean what the heck am I to do, get laid up indefinitely? I refuse to accept that. So I’m doing what I can to change trajectory of life. Realistic or not. I can fight it for mental health. I do fight to be sound when having breaks in between pain fits. It can and does get depressing. It wears on a person. But it helps to talk about it. I hope you get relief. I talk to someone. Therapy helps. To prevent me from slipping into full on depression. I’ve been there, don’t wish to return. I hope you can talk more about it. It helps.

I drew this mind map to assist doctors to understand the reaches of pain so they know how it effects me.

Perfect!

😊

Wow -- love that. I don't understand it all, but bits of it just jumped out for me. Can you post a version that shows all the bits? My new primary doc is so consumed with concern for my mood, it's like he figures my physical pain will go away if I'll just take enough mood meds. I truly believe pain relief (and I'm not talking about opioids, but treating my disorders) would mean the end of my anxiety-stricken behaviors upon which he is focused.

Hi Misu,

I posted another example of mind mapping I found on the internet. You can google “mind mapping” where they will give you many more examples. But the mind map I made is specific to me. It might resonate…

If this was not what you were looking for just let me know and I’ll try to help.

Customizing your own mind map might be helpful. Its a bit empowering to see the effects in a picture. They say it’s worth a thousand words.

Its troubling when the doctors aren’t hearing us because of anxiety or another. Its like the chicken or the egg. Which came first. I’ve told my doc, anxiety comes from having shortness of breath, not the other way around. Although, I must say for me, that all my health issue makes me anxious. It’s disturbing to say the least. But they should not dismiss pain. Its a signal.

If I can help in any way, just let me know.

Nemo

Hi Nemo,
u say:: I’ve told my doc, anxiety comes from having shortness of breath, not the other way around. Although, I must say for me, that all my health issue makes me anxious."
Well the 1st, and hopefully the last, anxiety attack (according to the doctor, whom I met after I was scared of being unable to breathe, said, "all what u r telling me looks like an anxiety attack. That is the doctor believes shortness of breath happened Because I'd been having some serious anxiety issues, 'What? Me anxiety attack? I'm retired, only have to worry about myself, and in reasonable health' I had, I thought. was AFTER I'd shortness of breath. Now, I became anxious After as normal breathing is crucial for humans, so in that sense I was right too. But the Reason why it happened was already percolating: I must be fretting about hard about something. I realized, the young doctor was probably right: I was sort of demoralised badly after spending about five full-time years in researching, writing editing and sending letters to potential non-fiction book agents, Without getting even an offer to look at it (Overweight or Underalive?) So while I did take some meds to get me thru the breath-stopping scare, I never had to use it as I began to accept that No One will even know the name of your book. I found philosopher Nietzsche had a similar problem, now there is an Industry about that brilliant person devoted to his way of looking at human troubles and questions.
I still believe my work distills health issues in ways that are novel, free. and can be implemented by practically Everyone to be in reasonable good health. There is on more academic, Patrick Hill of washington State Univ at St, Louis who has similar stance: To lose weight Stop New Year Resolutions, Find Purpose Instead. That is, health is a Tool to serve a Purposeful Life -- money, success, popularity/fame are secondary

Hope it helps

Hi Misu,

I appreciate what you have said. Once I had a panic attack. I thought I could not breath. I was gasping for air major gasping and passed out repeatedly then came to. I was taken by ambulance to hospital. I kept passing out and coming to in my fiancé’s arms. It was humiliating. Suffice it to say, the hospital employees (specifically the doctor seeing me) rolled his eyes as he said, “another one”. Son of a gun. I told him off. Anyway. That never happened before and never since. Doctors took me off medication (erroneously) and I went full on into crisis mode. Yes, I’m too old for this to be happening. Mental health is nothing to sneeze at. There is a very delicate balance. I’m finding with age, I am more fragile. It’s ironic. I wrote a sci fi manuscript (not published) and a illustrated and wrote a few childrens books. I always knew I’d self publish some day. I will be going through a POD publisher like Sparks. They recently made uploading free which will save people money and compete with B & N. Back to breathing issues. The problem I have with the CPAP is that the mask makes me feel like I’m suffocating in the middle of the night I’m waking up ripping off the mask. So will be changing masks. So that feeling is anxiety producing. I’ve been having troubles with heart rate thats being looked at. So we shall see if there is a connection. I can see how much stress you have been under. Considerable. Have you ever considered self publishing? I’ve been saving up to put out a couple to start of the children’s books. We shall see. Being unwell puts a crimp in the process. I need to scan images. I digress. Maybe as I feel better I can tackle that job. I have copyright on two thats as far as I went so far. Sometimes I feel like a dog chasing her tail. Too much to do. It can overwhelm. That’s most likely why its on the back burner. Hopefully not indefinitely. Thank you for what you’ve said. I appreciate it.

Nemo

@sisyphus. Hello. The above post was intended for you. I’m sorry I put misu’s name in there.

Hello. I am not in chronic pain, but I have had excruciating migraines, in the past, ( menopause took care of them), and a 3 day TMJ, where I couldn't stop crying, and feeling hopeless. I was told to do meditation, by doctors who never had experienced these problems. I had several dental problems, as it turns out. The good news is that many top hospitals are in clinical trials for non- addictive pain killers, and new anti- depression medicines. They are configured CBD, and THC cannabis products. Pfizer is one of the many drug companies conducting trials. I truly believe they will be the start of a new class of medicines. After the 2024 November election, Washington will give the go ahead. After all there are billions to be made!! My sister, who is in severe chronic pain is getting ketamine infusions at UCLA. It is working well. There is also a nasal spray, esketamine, for depression. Of course, these trials are only taking place in states where it is allowed.