1. < Just Want to Talk

How about a laugh, (hopefully)

Posted by Leonard @jakedduck1, Dec 31, 2018

I believe laughter is the best medicine. Laughter has actually been scientifically proven to help people with depression issues.
Let’s give it a try so we can all get happy and feel better. Many Epilepsy forums I’ve been on had joke sections. I was probably the biggest joke of all since I didn’t get a lot of the jokes. They said the jokes couldn’t be above 4th grade level for me to understand them so my jokes may be rather simplistic but let’s give it a try.
Have a lovely day everyone,
Jake

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Just Want to Talk Support Group.

Lagrange 5 | @lagrange5 | May 14, 2023
In reply to @gingerw "@betty64 Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect!! Got a joke to share? We have a big audience..." + (show)
@gingerw

@betty64 Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect!!

Got a joke to share? We have a big audience here, and find a laugh a day is so god for the soul!
Ginger

Jump to this post

I will harken back to our previous math jokes.

The circle tried to argue with the triangle.
The triangle told the circle it was pointless.

REPLY
lu91 | @lu91 | May 15, 2023

Mrs. O'Reilly went to the doctor for a check up and the doctor said he wanted a specimen from her to bring back next week.
Mrs. O'reilly didn't want to appear ignorant as to what a specimen is so when she got home she asked her husband who was sitting in his rrecliner reading the paper in his underwear.
"Hey, Vito" she yelled, "What's a specimen? The doctor said I gotta bring him a specimen next week".
Vito barely looked up and replied, "How the heck would I know. Go ask Mrs. Magillicuddy at the end of the hall. She claims to know everything".
So Mrs. O'Reilly trudged from her apartment down the hall to Mrs. Magillicuddy's.
Half an hour later she came back and her dress was torn, her hair was a mess and she had scratches on her arms.
"What the hell happened to you?" Vito shouted.
"Well I asked Mrs. Magillicuddy what a specimen was, she told me to go pee in a bottle and I said well then you go crap in the lake and the fight was on.

REPLY
1 reply
captboat | @captboat | May 15, 2023
In reply to @lyndac1027 "I was thinking the same thing!" + (show)
@lyndac1027

I was thinking the same thing!

Jump to this post

To err is human, to really mess up takes a computer.

REPLY
robineggblues / GeriAnne | @robineggblues | May 15, 2023

I’m sure some of these sweet ladies will think that their husband’s thoughtful meal was worth getting sick ☺️
REPLY
Leonard | @jakedduck1 | May 15, 2023

The doctor said I only have six months to live so I went and saw a friend of mine. He asked me if I ever thought of getting married, I said, why would that make me live longer? No, but it would be the longest six months of your life.

REPLY
2 replies
Mentor
Lori, Volunteer Mentor | @loribmt | May 15, 2023
In reply to @jakedduck1 "The doctor said I only have six months to live so I went and saw a..." + (show)
@jakedduck1

The doctor said I only have six months to live so I went and saw a friend of mine. He asked me if I ever thought of getting married, I said, why would that make me live longer? No, but it would be the longest six months of your life.

Jump to this post

If I roll my eyes back in my head any further I think they’ll get stuck… Jake, you never fail to make me laugh!! LOL.

REPLY
annewoodmayo | @annewoodmayo | May 16, 2023
In reply to @jakedduck1 "The doctor said I only have six months to live so I went and saw a..." + (show)
@jakedduck1

The doctor said I only have six months to live so I went and saw a friend of mine. He asked me if I ever thought of getting married, I said, why would that make me live longer? No, but it would be the longest six months of your life.

Jump to this post

Yuk, yuk, yuk
We need an "un-like" reaction button for "How about a laugh." -- really just kidding ... 🙂 : )
We need a "groan" reaction button.
Thanks for the contribution! Have a good day!

REPLY
annewoodmayo | @annewoodmayo | May 16, 2023
In reply to @robineggblues "A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph's Hospital. She timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to..." + (show)
@robineggblues

A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph's Hospital. She timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?"

The operator said, "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number of the patient?"

The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, Norma Findlay, Room 302."

The operator replied, "Let me put you on hold while I check with the nurse's station for that room."

After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said,

"I have good news. Her nurse just told me that Norma is doing well. Her

blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back normal and her

Physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged tomorrow."

The grandmother said, "Thank you. That's wonderful. I was so worried. God bless you for the good News."

The operator replied, "You're more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?"

The grandmother said, "No, I'm Norma Findlay in Room 302. No one tells me anything."

Jump to this post

Next time I'm in the hospital, I'm gonna try this.
Laughed out loud! Thanks!

REPLY
Debbie | @dbeshears1 | May 16, 2023
In reply to @lu91 "Mrs. O'Reilly went to the doctor for a check up and the doctor said he wanted..." + (show)
@lu91

Mrs. O'Reilly went to the doctor for a check up and the doctor said he wanted a specimen from her to bring back next week.
Mrs. O'reilly didn't want to appear ignorant as to what a specimen is so when she got home she asked her husband who was sitting in his rrecliner reading the paper in his underwear.
"Hey, Vito" she yelled, "What's a specimen? The doctor said I gotta bring him a specimen next week".
Vito barely looked up and replied, "How the heck would I know. Go ask Mrs. Magillicuddy at the end of the hall. She claims to know everything".
So Mrs. O'Reilly trudged from her apartment down the hall to Mrs. Magillicuddy's.
Half an hour later she came back and her dress was torn, her hair was a mess and she had scratches on her arms.
"What the hell happened to you?" Vito shouted.
"Well I asked Mrs. Magillicuddy what a specimen was, she told me to go pee in a bottle and I said well then you go crap in the lake and the fight was on.

Jump to this post

I sometimes get distracted by the strangest things. During the joke, I kept wondering about the name Magillicuddy that I’ve never heard. So after reading the joke, I googled it. The only hit I got was on “Mc”Gillicuddy, but there were several interesting items. So thanks for the laugh today and a little side trivia I learned on a different word to boot!

REPLY
2 replies
tim1028 | @tim1028 | May 16, 2023

Groaner Joke of the Day: An executive from IKEA was chosen as the new Prime Minister of Sweden. It should take her about a week to put together her Cabinet

REPLY
View MoreView Less
Please sign in or register to post a reply.