Very high BP reading and very scared

You're welcome! I recommend the Omron 7 Series, this is the on I bought at Target:
https://www.target.com/p/omron-digital-wrist-blood-pressure-monitor-7-series/-/A-13898540

Thank you again ! Now I know the one to get. It is always great to find a recommendation from a person who has used an item and is satisfied.
— eirrol

Hi, I would suggest the following.

Get your doctor a reliable log of your bp taken at the same Approx time of day after sitting quietly for 5 minutes each day. If you need to take it a second time show it that way. Try to show this log to your doctor clearly.

If you have white coat symptoms at the office help her/him and you identify it with numbers from your log and ask the question or state it. This way if normal at home and you should not be treated with meds in their opinion they will have the data. If not normal they will also have the data.

If you have a modern cuff and a smartphone it should automatically be able to help you create the log without having to write it down using Bluetooth.

If it is actually high don’t be afraid to address it, ignoring it can in fact lead to strokes and health issues, especially if it gets very high over long time periods, and if it’s not actually a problem you won’t need to address it. your doctor can give you that answer if they have clear data.

There are also a bunch of lifestyle things you can try to do if helpful and if you need to do them, do them. Hang in there and good luck.

Some doctors (and even emergency rooms) don’t always make “quick changes” to BP if they have good data even if high once but prefer to make thoughtful changes it seems.

I do understand how you feel and good luck and do your best to control the things you can that might help while getting data for your doctor and call them if you have a question.

I had a doctor who seemed to be determined to assign me with blood pressure medication. My mother had "white coat" high blood pressure and I suspect that I am similar. But this particular doctor tightened the cuff on the BP reader so tight that I could have cried out in pain. Stupidly I never said anything. She had me taking my BP anytime I was in a store that had a pharmacy with a BP monitor. She also immediately wanted to prescribe pills to lower my BP when I went to her after a horrifying run-in with my lawyer employer. I came to the conclusion that she was just another BigPharma agent and I shouldn't take her too seriously. She's left the practice now and I'm assigned to a male doctor. I asked for this to be changed and my request was refused. I really wonder why doctors take up the profession - it seems to just be for the $$$.

It can be hard to feel that you were "forced" onto medication, especially when visiting after a traumatic situation.

We need to take hypertension (high blood pressure) seriously, because it is truly a "silent killer" - there are often NO symptoms until the first stroke or heart attack. So if you choose not to use medication, perhaps you can control yours with diet, exercise and weight management - although this doesn't work for everyone.

When you were checking your blood pressure in stores, what kind of readings were you seeing? Has anyone suggested that you get a home blood pressure monitor and regularly check your pressure?

When you say "... I asked for this to be changed and my request was refused..." what do you mean - the record that says you have/had hypertension, or the prescribed medication?

I have had high blood pressure now for 26 years and meds have saved my life. It takes time to get them adjusted but it's so worth the effort. Like you I feared the strokes that many of my family members had and now I've outlived them all, stroke free. I've never been overweight, am physically active, in my entire life have eaten a healthy diet, never smoked and don't drink alcohol. Yet high BP runs in my family.
I had know for years I had white coat BP and at age 50 during a crisis period I had my first ER trip for high blood pressure and now at age 76 I'm basically maxed out on the meds they can give me but I monitor my BP daily, have never had a stroke or heart damage and lead a happy, active and fulfilling life. I simply get too excited and my blood pressure spikes. Good news or bad news same BP reaction. Game of Thrones was the cause of one ER trip when my blood pressure was 215/95 even with taking my basic meds- 2 in the am and 2 in the pm. Now no more ER trips. After 3 miserable ER trips always at midnight I demanded my own supply of ER meds and got them. It's been 5 years since I had an ER trip for BP.
Each night after watching exciting TV or reading an exciting book I check my BP and if over 140 I take a Hydralazine, if over 160 I take 2 Hydralazine and if I check and it's over 180 I take the evil zombie making Clonidine which is all the ER does anyway, it works within 30 minutes if not I can take another, but one does it for me. I have also been told to take my Hydralazine early even when my BP is normal if I plan to read or watch something exciting. I tried Xanax for a few months, hated it. It zaps all emotions, happy or sad. What's the point of life if you can't feel joy? The world becomes a gray color. I've never had to take the Nitroglycerin which I've been given just in case.
True all these meds are a bother, it's takes time to get them adjusted and even then every 5 years or so they have to be adjusted again . Also get in the habit of daily BP checks, at first check 3 times a day and log it. Now I know the feeling when it's high, for me I can actually hear my heart rate speed up and a noticeable pounding noise in my left ear if it's elevated.
So don't stress out, it's possible to live a normal long life with this inconvenience.

@twilatharp, I'm surprised your doctor didn't have you get Omron or other BP machine/cuff and measure your BP to document if you have high BP. Heart disease is a major cause of death from attacks and stroke, which is more of a pain than meds. My BP was elevated when I went to the doctor, so I took the average of 3 resting heart rate readings once or twice a day for a few months; the final average was 120/70 (I was 68 yo). If you get a BP cuff, get instructions from a nurse on how to take measurements (feet flat on floor, arms resting on a table, normal breathing).
I got norovirus on 12/23 and it damaged my kidneys, so now I'm on an SLGT2 inhibitor used for Type 2 diabetes, high blood, and heart damage.....even though I don't have ANY of those afflictions. Because my kidneys are damaged, even normal BP is harder on them. The SLGT2 med relaxes my blood vessels and has other protective effects. My avg resting BP is now 108/73.

@twilatharp its a shame you didn’t post your blood pressure readings to support your premise. The normal BP guidelines have recently changed and your doctor I bet was just doing their job. Pretty much any advice you’ve received from your PCP has been based on established medical practice guidelines no matter the speciality. They don’t just pull ideas out of the air which is why their training is so long and so costly.

@twilatharp i neglected to mention that the tightening of the blood pressure cuff plays no part in your BP reading. If your upper arms are heavier maybe a larger cuff would have been more appropriate. White coat hypertension displays differently in a BP reading than hypertension according to the guidelines. Here is some information to further your knowledge of hypertension. https://www.acc.org/Latest-in-Cardiology/Articles/2024/02/05/11/43/2023-ESH-Hypertension-Guideline-Update

I am more interested in my mental health than saving BP readings. An education that's long and costly means very little when it comes to what we call "common sense." Doctors know little to nothing about the effects food and this is unfortunate. Food can be used like medicine.