Need counsel to support MCI affected wife with anger management issues

Bill has MCI or they sometimes say mild dementia. His anger issues go so bad (he always was prone to anger) that the doctor put him on Seroquel. It took about a month to fully kick in but when it finally did life became so much better. He still will sometimes have an outburst but they aren't as bad and don't last as long.
Last Friday he qualified for hospice at home. He is becoming more confused now, which is normal.
Wishing you both, and the family, the best.

Bill didn't last long once a doctor finally approved him for hospice (a previous doctor several weeks prior stated he wasn't close to dying although he was already showing signs of his body shutting down).
When he finally went on hospice it was not only easier for me but for Bill as well. They could provide the trained help that he needed and that I wasn't able to give him. They also gave him his dignity back. He didn't want me cleaning him up. And he got to stay at home.
The last night I kissed him good night (really goodbye), told him it was okay to go, that his Mom was waiting for him. I prayed that he could hear me. He died in his sleep soon after.

One thing I realized was that I picked up on things being wrong a decade before the doctors did. They saw what he wanted them to see while I saw what was really happening. I doubt if it would have made a difference in the long run. Even at the end the one doctor (and our family doctor) was reluctant to certify him as eligible for hospice. My daughter requested a re-evaluation and a different hospice doctor. This time within hours he was provided with things to make him more comfortable and pain free. He should have been on hospice in September rather than December. I should have demanded the doctors really look at him.

Lots of great responses here... thanks to all.

Also facing similar "noncompliance with some aggression / hostility" from my wife. Often she refuses my advice about trying to minimize safety risks, and characterizes my help as an attempt to "control her."

Will report these behaviors to the neuro later this week at our next appointment... believe a small dose of seroquel may be in order.

Two things that are helping me: 1) keeping in mind that it's not HER that's acting up, but that it's the DISEASE PROCESS; and 2) that in an hour or two (sometimes less), she'll likely have no recollection of her behavior or my advice, and may be more accepting of it.

Just one of the many challenges we all will face with loved ones living with dementia.

All the best!

/LarryG

Bill didn't last long once a doctor finally approved him for hospice (a previous doctor several weeks prior stated he wasn't close to dying although he was already showing signs of his body shutting down).
When he finally went on hospice it was not only easier for me but for Bill as well. They could provide the trained help that he needed and that I wasn't able to give him. They also gave him his dignity back. He didn't want me cleaning him up. And he got to stay at home.
The last night I kissed him good night (really goodbye), told him it was okay to go, that his Mom was waiting for him. I prayed that he could hear me. He died in his sleep soon after.

One thing I realized was that I picked up on things being wrong a decade before the doctors did. They saw what he wanted them to see while I saw what was really happening. I doubt if it would have made a difference in the long run. Even at the end the one doctor (and our family doctor) was reluctant to certify him as eligible for hospice. My daughter requested a re-evaluation and a different hospice doctor. This time within hours he was provided with things to make him more comfortable and pain free. He should have been on hospice in September rather than December. I should have demanded the doctors really look at him.