Down n Out

I can't offer advice, but I identify with you, and your honesty felt comforting.

Hey, Menodummy 🙂 Honey, don't you 'dare' go and give up before this jaded one gets a shot at you! I have been where you're at (or at least were when you posted) more times than I care to remember. Will you let me try and help you? No, I'm not a professional. I'm just a crazy old woman with a penchant for taking in strays. With a little bit of trust and a little bit of work, we can start making things better and then...well...it will take more trust and more work, but it 'can' and 'will' get better. I'm not saying you'll be "normal" because anyone who says they are needs more help than either one of us. I'm a crazy, strange, off-her-rocker, bats-in-the-belfry woman who's ornery, funny, caring, friendly, and sympathetic, but is as blunt as a ... well, I'm blunt. I'll tell you like it is. I won't pull any punches. So, all of that said, if you think you can put up with me, send me a message and we'll see what we can do to get this darned thing turned around! (Hmm...for some reason, I feel the need to add: "I'm not here to play games and don't you play me for a fool, boy.") So yeah, like I said, I'm strange...but I'm here and I wanna help and I won't give up on you. I promise.

That is very to the point now isnt it. Thanks for that. I have to tell you I am a sceptic. But not because of you but I think mainly it is because I have shared once or twice with some that I trusted has the answers only to be let down. Not because they intended to but because they were not qualified. I wonder if qualifications are very simply put, been there. So I am listening and want to be hopeful.

Thank you, really

Was feeling way low this morning and watched this program on the arts, it helped me somewhat. Maybe it can help you. The program shows how Art changed hundreds of people's thinking. In one part, teens voiced their individual frustrations in dramatic monologues, Use your sensitivity in any medium that works for you. Here is the link. http://video.pbs.org/program/arts-mind/

Hey bro,
I am not sure I got much to say. I've had similar feelings in my life and I know how vacuous good intentions might sound. I what it was like when I felt similar - one the agonizing things about our situation is that we feel alone and that there is no one out there who cares. I guess I'm not what you call religious guy, so I am not about to invoke the power of God as a means to help, but I know that life can be hard and if there is one thing, one small thing that I might have to offer it is that I've been there and I've been there so many times for so long, where I was so fed up being fed up with my life, where I'd lie on the couch almost unable to move as though my body was like a rock, a thousand pound rock...

I am doing pretty good these days, and I don't know why, don't know how, (I have some sense, but not sure) all I know is that things seem better than they've been for years. Maybe that can give you some encouragement. I saw therapists, but it always seemed so - hopeless. Sometimes it felt as though I was there to help the therapist and not the other way around, other times I felt some skill may have been there in the therapist, but he or she couldn't touch me. Other times it just seemed like - how can I afford just finding a therapist...they're so bloody expensive! And sometimes their words seemed so empty. Like all those techniques that seemed like fuel for the bonfire of cynicism I was tending. And yet somehow things got better. Time seemed to make a difference, even though I've been struggling with this since I was 6 - I remember as a young boy, sitting in the family basement, hockey equipment on, 30 minutes before dad was to take me to practice and I'd be there on the floor, despairing, knowing in my bones that my situation was hopeless and no one could ever understand. Over 30 years of flirting with that same despair - and somehow something has changed, just in the last few years, despite everything I ever thought possible, something has changed.

You are so not alone, and our world really is f*ed up, there is so much sorrow and aimless selfishness in this world that depression is almost a sign of sanity. Don't mean to bum you out by being negative, but I find saying a truth like that can be kind of empowering. No, don't tell me of the beauty of life if you just open up to it. But in spite of my sadness, I'm not going to let anybody, least of all myself convince me things really are hopeless. Things change, truly they do, and our belief in our own despair is just a perverse stubbornness we seem to have. I don't need to cultivate more illusions to free me from despair, but we have to find ways to reach out to our family, friends, neighbors, strangers - find ways to accept love, and then one day to give it back. When the time is right. There's no rushing this process, but don't give up man, Don't give up.

Yati

Thanks for the encouraging words Yati. Actually God is my only source of strength at this time. Thanks for sharing, I hope I too can one day say things are better.

Here is an idea! And I have a feeling you would be really good at it. Do you have an organization close to you of some sort whereby you could help the less fortunate...a volunteer job. I am sure that with all you have been through, you could relate to what many people are going through.
There is nothing as rewarding and gratifying as HELPING OTHERS ...and it would take your mind off of yourself, because such actions are very healing.
You need to distract yourself from yourself and focus on what you can do successfully and I have a feeling you could be a real blessing to others. Think it over. And good luck to you. 🙂

Interesting you mention that. I feel exactly the same and I do quite a bit of it which not only takes my mind of of my own insecurities but I feel really good at the same time. In fact I recommend that to others as well. You are right, I can relate very well with them. I find myself back in my depressed state though when I head for home and remain there much of the time. I appreciate the reply and would strongly recommend to others as well. Thank you

You have a lot of stuff going on on your life and its been that way from the beginning. I have depression along with other mental illnesses and I'm medicated (have been for almost ten years now) and I see two people regularly. Depression isn't really something that goes away.. You can control it, but that's about it. If someone asked me for advice concerning what you told me, I'd say not to give up although its hard not to, to try and see a doctor (it took me four tries to get to the doctor most helpful to me) and don't feel discouraged if the first few sessions are awkward. There is so much I could say to you in hopes of trying to help, but I'll leave it there for now.

But remember, keeping your mind occupied with positive things is key. Occupying yourself is key as well. Take walks. Volunteer somewhere. Don't stay in your house all day. I know doing this keeps me a couple steps ahead of my depression.

Stay safe.