Spouse with cognitive problems and finances

Bill fell again - 3 time in less than a month. This time Robin (who just had foot surgery) nor I could get him up and he couldn't get himself up. He kept insisting we pull him up and we couldn't so he would get mad at us. Called 911 and it took 3 physically fit, big guys, to get him on his feet. Then they caught him as he started to fall again. He protested them helping him to bed but fortunately they ignored him and one on each side got him into bed.

At which point, after they left, he started singing to himself. He is asleep now. Robin was reluctant to call 911 as he wasn't injured other than a couple of small scrapes and bruises. She was afraid of taking them away from someone who needed help in a critical situation. We kept trying to get through to the police non-emergency help line but weren't able to (call went in 'push #' in a constant circle.) They would have sent a patrol car to help him up if we could have reached them.

Both Bill and Robin never want to ask for help. I'm a lot more likely too. I think I'm right lol.

Glad to hear Bill didn’t hurt himself, but without using a cane or walker, he will keep falling.
Next time (and you know he will fall again) he might hit his head and then he will need surgery and then rehab (if he is fortunate enough to survive) and the ramifications are not good at all. Next time he falls, tell him you will get him up if, and only if, he promises to use a cane or walker (walker preferred). Good luck!

Bill fell again - 3 time in less than a month. This time Robin (who just had foot surgery) nor I could get him up and he couldn't get himself up. He kept insisting we pull him up and we couldn't so he would get mad at us. Called 911 and it took 3 physically fit, big guys, to get him on his feet. Then they caught him as he started to fall again. He protested them helping him to bed but fortunately they ignored him and one on each side got him into bed.

At which point, after they left, he started singing to himself. He is asleep now. Robin was reluctant to call 911 as he wasn't injured other than a couple of small scrapes and bruises. She was afraid of taking them away from someone who needed help in a critical situation. We kept trying to get through to the police non-emergency help line but weren't able to (call went in 'push #' in a constant circle.) They would have sent a patrol car to help him up if we could have reached them.

Both Bill and Robin never want to ask for help. I'm a lot more likely too. I think I'm right lol.

Bill fell again - 3 time in less than a month. This time Robin (who just had foot surgery) nor I could get him up and he couldn't get himself up. He kept insisting we pull him up and we couldn't so he would get mad at us. Called 911 and it took 3 physically fit, big guys, to get him on his feet. Then they caught him as he started to fall again. He protested them helping him to bed but fortunately they ignored him and one on each side got him into bed.

At which point, after they left, he started singing to himself. He is asleep now. Robin was reluctant to call 911 as he wasn't injured other than a couple of small scrapes and bruises. She was afraid of taking them away from someone who needed help in a critical situation. We kept trying to get through to the police non-emergency help line but weren't able to (call went in 'push #' in a constant circle.) They would have sent a patrol car to help him up if we could have reached them.

Both Bill and Robin never want to ask for help. I'm a lot more likely too. I think I'm right lol.

He has been better at using his walker but this time he was headed for bed (4pm).

Googling to see if there is anything on the market that can be used to assist in getting him off the floor. Tried using his toilet safety rail but that didn't work. He has no body strength at all.

Lately he has been demanding the car keys - which I gave to our daughter. I decided I shouldn't be driving either as my reactions aren't good. Time for Uber if Robin can't! Time to sell the car.

@juliec -- For those accounts with autopay, you maybe can try change the passwords to the account, and not share the changes.

Good luck!

/LarryG

I’ve been on Mayo-connect with my heath and husbands. Today.. I’m responding to yours about your husband Bill.
My husband Stan.. I’ve been caregiver for 9 yrs! So many falls, cognitive issues fading mentally… I took ive finances and all. Now, veteran husband in hospital Rehab.. but short term! Really only 10 days and now dumping him! But.. he’s been in ERs, Redpites, Skilled nursing homes (facilities.) now probably 7 th ( end stage Alzheimer’s) maybe your hysband needs credible assessment.. after all falls, 4 dementias diagnosed… I’m still looking for credible assessment.. I’ve tried for Mayo, but due to pandemic I couldn’t get him in! I see that ( not credible diagnosises, and /or assessments as tragic! Mayo was going to give him appt. But now I cannot even go due to his immobility… and our ages 84 (me) 92 husband! Best to you.. but before we can help as spouses… we ( and all healthcare facilities need accurate diagnoses and assessments! I’m working on it for my hysband. Good luck to you as well.

As far as falling at night, this is a bad situation. I would get him a pillow and blanket and tell him I will be back later - or tell him he has to use a walker or I will let him lie there. I’m sorry, unless it is an emergency, I would let him lie on the floor and, as I said, continue to bargain with him. He is playing with fire again!