Downsizing, To Move or Not to Move? That is the Question

Even though I endure long, harsh winters in northern MN, I would choose MN…..I can’t believe I’m saying this! My husband works in soil/water and given the climate change risks relevant in CA, this would be a critical reason to consider MN. Taxes are high, but I’m thinking so are CA. Just some thoughts

Thank you @migizil. It is nice to see your name again with this post. Great thoughts and especially for your husband. I also surprised myself by giving my life partner careful consideration. I tried to imagine him in both places, MN and CA. Tough decision though.

Can you tell me why? What was the determining factor? I think your answers will help others.
Thank you.
Chris

What was the final choice and why? This is quite intriguing and may be helpful for others who need to make that decision.
Thank you for sharing.

I am struggling with this same issue. I am a single person with no family in the area. More than one chronic condition. Suddenly a shortage of friends. It’s hard to recreate your life at this stage of life when your health is compromised. Everyone is telling me I need to move to a retirement community; however, I also don’t think I would be happy with their structure and rules. The idea is more social contact.

The most common mistake is to try to "time" any move.
Most CCRCs have minimum requirements of both cognition and physical condition for admittance.
No one solution works for all.
That being said, a "simple" pro and con approach is in order for you. Don't expect "band-aids" to be along term solution (stair climbers, etc.,).
Most people find (after the shock" that smaller total areas are quit good; note that may of the areas that you now have go unused). We went from 4800, to 2600, to 1344 sq ft. We lost a large living room, etc.
You put a tag on what you can't part with, and donate the rest. Less is better.
Don't tarry until 'tis too late; if you don't make decisions, life will!
Good luck,

We have been "practicing" living in a smaller space for 7 winters. Our winter home is 400 square feet, with a covered but not enclosed patio and an 8x10 shed. No attic, no basement, no stairs. It is a simpler life - fewer appliances, buy as needed and use up, an item must be carefully planned for, usually another possession must leave. We share large items and seldom used ones with friends and neighbors - for example, there is a "roving party tote" of serving pieces, trays, pitchers and misc., along with an ice bucket & large cooler shared among about a dozen households. There is one community lawn mower, and one weed whacker. Very freeing, actually.

I find when we return to our "big" house - 1300 sf on 2 levels plus a garage & sheds, I am overwhelmed by the amount of stuff - I spend at least an hour or two nearly every day getting rid of things we no longer use or need. Last week several generations of weed-eaters, leaf blowers and hedge clippers, all replaced by a few lightweight battery operated tools, went to a fund-raiser sale along with no longer used decorative pots. Dozens of smaller pots, filled with plants I thinned, went along. Saturday, boxes of no longer used electronic gear went to our community recycle day. Today I filled a recycle bin, a box for the scrappers, and a large trash bag just from a few shelves in the garage, making space for items that were piled on the workbench or floor.

Following the model taught by my parents, I'm trying not to leave a big job for my busy kids! My goal, by this October is to have at least one empty shelf in each cupboard, free space in every closet, and no more "mystery boxes" on high shelves.

I figure even if we stay in the same place, we can condense and simplify to make life more relaxed. Now I just wish manufacturers would make affordable furniture for small spaces. Those huge sectional sofas don't begin to fit my 12 x 16 living room.

@artscaping

I suppose in your situation… if one had the funds .. both could be chosen and spend part of the year one place & then switch. As time and situation changes with health possibilities and loss of spouse things would change. There is no crystal ball to tell us where life or death will lead our family.

My husband was in the US Army for 20 years … bulk of our duty posts were our last two … Ft Story and Ft Lee Virginia. Our parents lived in Georgia. None of my siblings lived near my parents at the time. My husband has a brother and sister in the area. So smeo e to help his parents if needed.

When my husband retired from the Army and he asked where I wanted to live .. I thought of the no-allergies I had in Hawaii .. but my answer was “my home is wherever you are”. The where to physically live at was only in my mind for a moment. I was fine with anywhere that had very little snow. The person I am to spend the rest of my life with .. until death do us part… is the most important part of my life and not a place.

Since I had no preference as to where we lived... The decision where we lived was my husband's. Our daughter was living in Richmond VA and our son still had another year of high school. We decided to wait until after his graduation to move. He came with us to Georgia. He did not have the means to live on his own yet and he did not want to live with his sister.

My husband's reasoning of his decision was that if my parent's health became very bad we could be there for them. I am next to youngest of 5 children.. 3 older brothers and a younger sister. My two oldest brothers moved back to Georgia not long after we did. Long story here…. but the short one is they were sorry sons and broke my parents financially and emotionally. Us 3 youngest helped them financially. I got the brunt of the emotional part. It was not like nowadays…. no cell phones.. no video calls… just letters ever once in awhile and phone calls at holidays. My parents gifted me their property. .. 35 miles from where we live. It was officially our responsibility to pay the taxes that we had been paying for several years.

It has been difficult at times moving back to Georgia.. but I truly believe it is where we needed to be and where we still shouod be. My dad passed in 2000 and my mom in 2020. Mom spent her last two years in my and my husband's care. My sister passed in 2018 and my next to oldest brother in 2019. I have not talked to my oldest brother since September 2020. He really had not been my brother since I was 7 and he 12. .. so to me no great loss. He stole from mom past her death.

Our daughter and husband now live near Atlanta.. for some reason she likes big cities. Our son and his family live about a 90 minute drive east of us. We have 4 grandchildren. Sometimes we think of moving and we have decided to try and discard our junk and stay here as long as possible. You never know where life nor death will lead your family.

My wishes for continued happiness for you and your spouse for many years to come.

So far 54 mostly happy years by my spouse's side … nothing is perfect, but we were made to be with each other.

ZeeGee

My husband has Dementia and heart issues and we are in our 80’s. We moved 3 years ago from Illinois to North Carolina because of warmer weather my husband has longed for and so have I. He has a son living close by with 2 grandsons, but even so, they are busy with their lives so we don’t see them very often. It was the same with our families in Illinois, and when I had to invite myself to my youngest son’s birthday party, that was unacceptable for me.
I cried my eyes out when we first thought of moving from Illinois and not being near our families!
My older son In Illinois said I was always isolating myself. I had to struggle with his remark and we have been gone a lot over the years for vacations, but mostly to see relatives and even for genealogy reasons. He is my son who rarely calls and tells me to stay at a hotel instead of his house. I took his remark into consideration when making our decision.
It was difficult leaving friends as well but we (family and friends) all stay connected with email, pictures, FaceTime and phone messages.
Then my husband this month was not feeling well and had to have a pacemaker. We got scared and thought of moving back to Illinois, but just the thought of moving was overwhelming! Nothing will change with our families and we would be back in that brutal weather again! And only for a Christmas Holiday?
We have excellent doctors here, we are less than a mile from their offices and the hospital, and we have nice neighbors. What we pay for our mortgage ($500/mo) would never happen in Illinois as well as property taxes ($500). Even apartments in Illinois start at $1500/month, 3 times what we pay for our 2 bedroom house on an acre of land!
We have gone back to Illinois our first Christmas in North Carolina by flying and it was a terrible hassle!
In the future, we will go to Illinois when the weather is warm and because we have the time, we will drive rather than flying. I love my family and friends with all my heart, have no resentments, and have accepted our decision to live in North Carolina.

I too moved from Illinois but to Florida 13 years ago. My husband passed last year and I have a daughter in town but rarely see her due to her work schedule. The other four adult kids and a grandson are in Illinois. A second grandchild is on the way. I have a 1600 sf home and only use three rooms. Our oldest daughter (my step-daughter) wants me to move near her in Central Illinois. It's tempting because housing is more affordable there and property taxes are comparable to Jacksonville, Florida. I would still be four hours away from the rest of the kids, but it's still better than 1200 miles away. I'm not sure what I will decide to do. Right now without a second income and retirement in 8-10 years, I am thinking of staying put. Our house is paid for and property taxes manageable. I do worry about getting ill and needing care. How will my youngest daughter help if I rarely see her now? This is not an easy decision.