Downsizing, To Move or Not to Move? That is the Question

Posted by Rosemary, Volunteer Mentor @rosemarya, Apr 12, 2020

At some point as we age, we will have to make a decision about leaving our homes and downsizing. Maybe in our own town or to another town. Maybe to smaller home, condo, apartment, or assisted living/senior community.

When the time comes to downsize, seniors can struggle with a multitude of emotional, physical, and financial challenges.

How do you make an informed decision about when to downsize?
What tips do you have to share?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Aging Well Support Group.

@johnbishop

Hi @emd52, We removed your personal email address from your message above in the reply to @retirement75. We recommend not posting personal contact information in the public forum. You can use the secure private message function to exchange contact information with another member.

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Hi John,
How do I use the secure private message function? I am not computer savvy.
Thanks for removing my email address for security reasons....much appreciated!
emd52

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@emd52

Hi John,
How do I use the secure private message function? I am not computer savvy.
Thanks for removing my email address for security reasons....much appreciated!
emd52

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Hi @emd52, There are step by step instructions on how to send a private message in the Get Started on Mayo Clinic Connect guide here: https://connect.mayoclinic.org/get-started-on-connect/.

It's pretty easy - just click on a member's @membername which takes you to their profile. Then just click the Send Private Message link at the bottom of their profile description.

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@johnbishop

Hi @emd52, There are step by step instructions on how to send a private message in the Get Started on Mayo Clinic Connect guide here: https://connect.mayoclinic.org/get-started-on-connect/.

It's pretty easy - just click on a member's @membername which takes you to their profile. Then just click the Send Private Message link at the bottom of their profile description.

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Thank you John. I followed your instructions which are very helpful
emd52

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@artscaping

So......here is your answer. We chose MN. We had been going back and forth between the two homes for 6 years, living and enjoying friends and nature on the river and on the mountain.
1. A huge issue at the time was health care for Jay. It is now also the biggest issue for me.
2. We wanted a home large enough to have family get-to-gathers. We continue to enjoy having to step around toys, games, and dancing grandchildren.
3. In the MN home we have options. The "overflow room" (2nd pantry) upstairs has high counters with room for a washer and dryer when we can no longer go downstairs.
4. We have plenty of room in the main guest suite downstairs to provide space for a caregiver and plan to outfit a kitchenette when needed.
5. We absolutely love living with nature. All year we have migratory birds and lots of ground critters, including our favorite Chippees who we have been training for 4years. There is nothing like watching spring open up with the most beautiful greens. With wrap-around views, a meditation walk, and 7 acres of manicured park-like landscaping, it fulfills the name Adams Landing. We also sold the CA mountain property for more than the MN property would have brought adding to our options by enabling us to hire gardening/landscaping help when needed.
6. We have pursued new activities and met new friends of choice, a surprisingly good outcome.

So, we have been living with this decision for almost 4 years and wouldn't change a thing. And remember, it took us a couple of years to face the decision, outline the risk/benefits and implement the plan.

Good luck to all of you as you face similar life decisions.

May you have happiness and the causes of happiness.
Chris

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Oh my dear……I forgot the most impactful reason to choose MN……no fires. After being evacuated three times and cleaning fire fall off my deck upon return……I had enough.

Chris

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@annecmvneg

I agree with this. I am 80 and single, in the Midwest, with a tiny family. My son lives 150 miles from me and my daughter lives 15 miles away, but with a busy work life and many other responsibilities and we visit once a month or six weeks. I am planning to move to a retirement rental community in a few months.

I'm in much better health than most of the residents there, I'm active and I still drive, but I see myself slowing down and since I plan to see my 100th birthday, I'm thinking ahead, for the time when I don't drive and am less able to do things for myself. Handling this move on my own is difficult enough; I don't want to make another. So I'm moving to a place with all the helpful services I'm going to be making use of someday.

It's close to excellent healthcare, a vibrant and active senior fitness and social center, and all the shopping and entertainment I enjoy. I won't have to give up my friends and make new ones, and a few rules are a fair trade-off for all the benefits I'll be making more use of later on. I've looked at the areas I actually spend most of my time in, in my current home, and the square feet I actually move around and use routinely is even smaller than the one-bedroom apartment I'll be in, plus there are all the common areas.

I've set up a shared folder on the Cloud where my kids and I discuss this and other ageing-related issues, such as how to decide when I give up my car. I'm putting copies of my powers of attorney and health care directives on it, and other information they may need. I want to get all this done now while I still have most of my marbles and physical ability. Even paring my posessions down to the ones I truly love or really need and use is a kind of Swedish death cleaning, a favor to them and a meditation for me. I want to make it as easy as I can, for them and for me, so nobody has to make sudden decisions under pressure, then we can all relax and just enjoy the passage of time.

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I admire your attitude and your motivation towards action. You are very capable for an 80 year old....many would not know where to begin in order to set things up in the "cloud". More power to you. Congratulations on being proactive.....you should consider giving lectures or training in your new setting, or sharing your process with others through writings or a blog.... very much needed.

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@artscaping

Oh my dear……I forgot the most impactful reason to choose MN……no fires. After being evacuated three times and cleaning fire fall off my deck upon return……I had enough.

Chris

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@migizii….I guess my husbands soil/water career and talk of the severe drought in the west, along with a more stable water source in MN assisted in your decision!

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@migizii

@migizii….I guess my husbands soil/water career and talk of the severe drought in the west, along with a more stable water source in MN assisted in your decision!

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Oh yes it did. And that is why I had to add it to my post. What else is difficult for me is to know that 3 out of 3 of the recent fires in my village were set by arsonists. The last arsonist launched flame throwers from his car all the way up the mountain, leaving five separate fires that plummed all the way to the top. He was apprehended and tried in court at the age of 26. Found guilty, he only had to serve 6 years and was out of jail just as the "me-toos" were getting started. Another arsonist set 3 fires, one at each exit off the mountain during the Jazz in the Pines weekend when thousands of guests were on the mountain. The last one was even caught practicing setting the fire. Released, he went right back and set the final one on a windy day. Five young firefighters were trapped and perished. Way too frightening for me.
Chris

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@artscaping

So......here is your answer. We chose MN. We had been going back and forth between the two homes for 6 years, living and enjoying friends and nature on the river and on the mountain.
1. A huge issue at the time was health care for Jay. It is now also the biggest issue for me.
2. We wanted a home large enough to have family get-to-gathers. We continue to enjoy having to step around toys, games, and dancing grandchildren.
3. In the MN home we have options. The "overflow room" (2nd pantry) upstairs has high counters with room for a washer and dryer when we can no longer go downstairs.
4. We have plenty of room in the main guest suite downstairs to provide space for a caregiver and plan to outfit a kitchenette when needed.
5. We absolutely love living with nature. All year we have migratory birds and lots of ground critters, including our favorite Chippees who we have been training for 4years. There is nothing like watching spring open up with the most beautiful greens. With wrap-around views, a meditation walk, and 7 acres of manicured park-like landscaping, it fulfills the name Adams Landing. We also sold the CA mountain property for more than the MN property would have brought adding to our options by enabling us to hire gardening/landscaping help when needed.
6. We have pursued new activities and met new friends of choice, a surprisingly good outcome.

So, we have been living with this decision for almost 4 years and wouldn't change a thing. And remember, it took us a couple of years to face the decision, outline the risk/benefits and implement the plan.

Good luck to all of you as you face similar life decisions.

May you have happiness and the causes of happiness.
Chris

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So what city in Minnesota did you move to? From your description my gut feeling is somewhere on the north shore but it will be fun finding out what city you decided on thanks dave

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I was forced to downsize after my husband's aorta dissected. Mayo Clinic physicians operated on him three times and saved his life. Actually, it was a miracle my husband was still alive. We lived in a Cape Cod house and he couldn't navigate stairs. We had lived there for 20+ years and the thought of downsizing was challenging. I gave some things away, sold others, and donated dozens of books to the public library. All this in preparation to move to a town home. Out town home was 1,800 square feet, a size that worked out well. I didn't buy anything new for our town home and we lived there for five years. My husband's failing health forced us to move again and we moved to Charter House in Rochester, MN, a Mayo Clinic retirement home. A year and a half after we moved in my husband died and I still live in the apartment we shared. Though life isn't perfect, I know I live in a safe, protected building within walking distance of Mayo. Most importantly, I live among people who understand this stage of life and care for each other.

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@harriethodgson1

I was forced to downsize after my husband's aorta dissected. Mayo Clinic physicians operated on him three times and saved his life. Actually, it was a miracle my husband was still alive. We lived in a Cape Cod house and he couldn't navigate stairs. We had lived there for 20+ years and the thought of downsizing was challenging. I gave some things away, sold others, and donated dozens of books to the public library. All this in preparation to move to a town home. Out town home was 1,800 square feet, a size that worked out well. I didn't buy anything new for our town home and we lived there for five years. My husband's failing health forced us to move again and we moved to Charter House in Rochester, MN, a Mayo Clinic retirement home. A year and a half after we moved in my husband died and I still live in the apartment we shared. Though life isn't perfect, I know I live in a safe, protected building within walking distance of Mayo. Most importantly, I live among people who understand this stage of life and care for each other.

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I wrote this when I was barely awake and have a correction. Charter House is a retirement community with an array of support services and a continuum of care.

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