1. < Mental Health

Concern about what others will think of your mental illness

Posted by Roxie43 @roxie43, Jan 11, 2012

Happy New Year's All,
I have read many of your posts and have also shared some experiences. I think Mayo Clinic is great for allowing us the opportunity to express how we feel, make connections and support one another. I recently learned that a loved one was diagnosed with a mental illness and he has been very paranoid about everything from the diagnosis itself, the thought of taking any medications but more importantly he has been concerned about what others will think of him and how he will be treated.
I guess, I am at a stage in my life where I don't see living with a mental illness as a contributing factor of my worth. This stage in the recovery process has taken many years of therapy but more important the unconditional love and acceptance that I have been lucky to have received from immediate loved ones/family has been a contributing factor.
Another factor is that it is very important for everyone to understand that living with a mental illness does not have to mean that one has to give up on life, on hopes and dreams. It does take a lot of work and sometimes it even means developing thick skin because unfortunately there are always those that lack compassion and sensitivity.
As a professional, I want you to know that I have met more people with serious challenges working helping others, when the first thing they should be doing is getting help for themselves. Kind of reminds me of "Do as I say not as I do". It's denial and I am sure you have seen this as well. The workaholic, the micromanager, the anal retentive perfectionists who is quick to make you feel worthless because they feel this way about self. Then we may have loved ones who really do not understand our condition but they should be educating themselves so they can be less judgemental and more supportive.
Just like any illness, those living with one need to know they are still loved, respected, worthy, intelligent, creative, and can still be major contributor's to their families and communities.
If you have time, google famous people with mental illnesses and you will be surprised how many people live with illnesses and lived and/or live wonderful lives in addition to struggling.
I know how it feels to be frowned at, talked about, lied about, and made to feel totally stigmatized by a label. I am at a different place today and I am grateful for this. Today, I believe that people who judge what they are unaware of or are even indignant towards others sometimes act foolishly because they have their own issues and the difference is that I am dedicated to my well being. There is no time for denial. It does not matter what the label is.
If something ails you, please get help, educate yourself, educate your loved ones, know your rights and always keep in mind...................You Are Not Alone!
Let's try to have a blessed year, be better people and first and foremost take care of ourselves (we deserve all of the blessings coming our way).
Best,

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Mental Health Support Group.

Dr Carol | @drcarol | May 5, 2012
In reply to @drcarol "Roxie, what an inspiring post. Acceptance and unconditional support? I'm not sure I could do it...." + (show)
@drcarol

Roxie, what an inspiring post. Acceptance and unconditional support? I'm not sure I could do it. I know it's what we should do, and I really would try, but when it's personal and everyday I really doubt if I could do it for more than a limited time. I admire your ability to even try to do something so brave.

Luckily I'm not in that position in my own private life, so I can only imagine how hard it would be. Do you agree that you couldn't do it without your own support systems? I fear that many people don't have a support system for themselves, when they are trying to support someone close to them. And it's important to protect your own well-being in such circumstances.

And then there are others who simply don't want to, and others who don't understand mental illness anyway.

If you think about how rare a happy supportive family is, it makes it even more unlikely that people with mental illness will get the support they need. I don't want t depress anyone 🙂 but there is so much need, needed in the world.

I personally would never judge anyone who tries to do the right thing but finds they cannot. Not everyone is Mother Theresa. If people genuinely do what they can, they are doing their best. If their best is not perfect, well, none of us are perfect.

Sometimes the only support that people with mental illness can find is from fellow sufferers in self help groups and forums, and sometimes from health professionals - their families burned out long ago. It's sad, but sometimes that is what happens.

So well done you for giving support to people close to you and also on this forum.

Keep strong (when you can), and look after yourself as well.

Carol.

Jump to this post

Hi Piglit, I'm fine thanks. I'm always busy trying to keep up with posting new articles for my two websites. One new website is crazy enough when you are just new to blogging - but two is madness. 🙂 Fun though.

Hope you are well.

Carol

REPLY
Roxie43 | @roxie43 | May 5, 2012
In reply to @drcarol "Roxie, what an inspiring post. Acceptance and unconditional support? I'm not sure I could do it...." + (show)
@drcarol

Roxie, what an inspiring post. Acceptance and unconditional support? I'm not sure I could do it. I know it's what we should do, and I really would try, but when it's personal and everyday I really doubt if I could do it for more than a limited time. I admire your ability to even try to do something so brave.

Luckily I'm not in that position in my own private life, so I can only imagine how hard it would be. Do you agree that you couldn't do it without your own support systems? I fear that many people don't have a support system for themselves, when they are trying to support someone close to them. And it's important to protect your own well-being in such circumstances.

And then there are others who simply don't want to, and others who don't understand mental illness anyway.

If you think about how rare a happy supportive family is, it makes it even more unlikely that people with mental illness will get the support they need. I don't want t depress anyone 🙂 but there is so much need, needed in the world.

I personally would never judge anyone who tries to do the right thing but finds they cannot. Not everyone is Mother Theresa. If people genuinely do what they can, they are doing their best. If their best is not perfect, well, none of us are perfect.

Sometimes the only support that people with mental illness can find is from fellow sufferers in self help groups and forums, and sometimes from health professionals - their families burned out long ago. It's sad, but sometimes that is what happens.

So well done you for giving support to people close to you and also on this forum.

Keep strong (when you can), and look after yourself as well.

Carol.

Jump to this post

Hi Dr. Carol,
I try to be accepting and look at the glass as half full as often as I can. It's challenging at times as well as draining but humans need to feel accepted as they are. In my work over 20 years in the helping profession I have unfortunately witnessed the lack of familial support and a sense of abandonment which makes living with chronic mental illnesses even more challenging. It breaks my heart when the only time some family members surface is when a patient passes away.
My experience is both personal as well as professional so I'm able to see both sides of the spectrum. For those lucky enough to have support systems it makes a world of a difference.
My mom is an LCSW and taught me as a child not to judge and be kind. It's the only way I know how to be but I will admit that it can be challenging when resistance occurs.
I'm home healing from stigma and discrimination but you know even though I've not received unconditional support and acceptance from the very people that intentionally hurt me, if I had to opportunity to do the same to them, I could not because I value human life and others well-being.
I'll be ok. I'm stronger than I some times believe and just like the consumers that I adore faith and kindness makes a difference in all our lives.
There's nothing more rewarding than making a person feel worthy.
Thank you for appreciating the discussion and contributing your great insight.
Sincerely,
Rox

REPLY
Roxie43 | @roxie43 | May 5, 2012
In reply to @drcarol "Roxie, what an inspiring post. Acceptance and unconditional support? I'm not sure I could do it...." + (show)
@drcarol

Roxie, what an inspiring post. Acceptance and unconditional support? I'm not sure I could do it. I know it's what we should do, and I really would try, but when it's personal and everyday I really doubt if I could do it for more than a limited time. I admire your ability to even try to do something so brave.

Luckily I'm not in that position in my own private life, so I can only imagine how hard it would be. Do you agree that you couldn't do it without your own support systems? I fear that many people don't have a support system for themselves, when they are trying to support someone close to them. And it's important to protect your own well-being in such circumstances.

And then there are others who simply don't want to, and others who don't understand mental illness anyway.

If you think about how rare a happy supportive family is, it makes it even more unlikely that people with mental illness will get the support they need. I don't want t depress anyone 🙂 but there is so much need, needed in the world.

I personally would never judge anyone who tries to do the right thing but finds they cannot. Not everyone is Mother Theresa. If people genuinely do what they can, they are doing their best. If their best is not perfect, well, none of us are perfect.

Sometimes the only support that people with mental illness can find is from fellow sufferers in self help groups and forums, and sometimes from health professionals - their families burned out long ago. It's sad, but sometimes that is what happens.

So well done you for giving support to people close to you and also on this forum.

Keep strong (when you can), and look after yourself as well.

Carol.

Jump to this post

Thanks Piglit! We are all inspirations and a ray of hope for those who feel so beat down and hopeless ...
Rox

REPLY
Roxie43 | @roxie43 | May 6, 2012

I believe we all could benefit from acceptance and support in a world that can be full of selfishness, competitiveness and indignant of human suffering. It's a global issue. Interestingly, the more technologically advanced we become it seems like the lesser significance is placed on the importance of developmental and social maturity/responsibility is.
Rox

REPLY
2 replies
piglit | @piglit | May 6, 2012
In reply to @roxie43 "I believe we all could benefit from acceptance and support in a world that can be..." + (show)
@roxie43

I believe we all could benefit from acceptance and support in a world that can be full of selfishness, competitiveness and indignant of human suffering. It's a global issue. Interestingly, the more technologically advanced we become it seems like the lesser significance is placed on the importance of developmental and social maturity/responsibility is.
Rox

Jump to this post

So true Rox

REPLY
China | @china | May 7, 2012
In reply to @roxie43 "May is mental health awareness month!!! What's everyone doing? Have a blessed day all.... Rox" + (show)
@roxie43

May is mental health awareness month!!!
What's everyone doing?
Have a blessed day all....
Rox

Jump to this post

Every day is mental health awareness 4me. Nice that a day or month promotes awareness. This should be done all year! Some don't have a clue like we chose this.

REPLY
China | @china | May 7, 2012
In reply to @roxie43 "I believe we all could benefit from acceptance and support in a world that can be..." + (show)
@roxie43

I believe we all could benefit from acceptance and support in a world that can be full of selfishness, competitiveness and indignant of human suffering. It's a global issue. Interestingly, the more technologically advanced we become it seems like the lesser significance is placed on the importance of developmental and social maturity/responsibility is.
Rox

Jump to this post

U go girl!

REPLY
Roxie43 | @roxie43 | May 8, 2012

Learning to accept that acceptance and unconditional support can be difficult. It's also selective with some for varying reasons. It has to be difficult when there is more than one family member living with the many obstacles that come with an illness. I guess in a perfect world tolerance would be wonderful but I understand that we don't live in a perfect world.
Still, I always try to be conscientious in the way I treat others. It's humbling to live with an illness that brings with it...so many preconceived notions.
I hope all the reader's are being treated kindly because it really does make a difference in our lives.
Rox

REPLY
6 replies
piglit | @piglit | May 8, 2012
In reply to @roxie43 "Learning to accept that acceptance and unconditional support can be difficult. It's also selective with some..." + (show)
@roxie43

Learning to accept that acceptance and unconditional support can be difficult. It's also selective with some for varying reasons. It has to be difficult when there is more than one family member living with the many obstacles that come with an illness. I guess in a perfect world tolerance would be wonderful but I understand that we don't live in a perfect world.
Still, I always try to be conscientious in the way I treat others. It's humbling to live with an illness that brings with it...so many preconceived notions.
I hope all the reader's are being treated kindly because it really does make a difference in our lives.
Rox

Jump to this post

so right roxie it does make a difference in our lives x0

REPLY
Roxie43 | @roxie43 | May 10, 2012
In reply to @roxie43 "Learning to accept that acceptance and unconditional support can be difficult. It's also selective with some..." + (show)
@roxie43

Learning to accept that acceptance and unconditional support can be difficult. It's also selective with some for varying reasons. It has to be difficult when there is more than one family member living with the many obstacles that come with an illness. I guess in a perfect world tolerance would be wonderful but I understand that we don't live in a perfect world.
Still, I always try to be conscientious in the way I treat others. It's humbling to live with an illness that brings with it...so many preconceived notions.
I hope all the reader's are being treated kindly because it really does make a difference in our lives.
Rox

Jump to this post

We need some Piglit's in America!
Rox

REPLY
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