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roxie43

Acceptance and Unconditional Support for those Living with Mental Illnesses!!!!!!!

Posted by @roxie43 in Brain & Nervous System, Jan 11, 2012

Happy New Year's All,
I have read many of your posts and have also shared some experiences. I think Mayo Clinic is great for allowing us the opportunity to express how we feel, make connections and support one another. I recently learned that a loved one was diagnosed with a mental illness and he has been very paranoid about everything from the diagnosis itself, the thought of taking any medications but more importantly he has been concerned about what others will think of him and how he will be treated.
I guess, I am at a stage in my life where I don't see living with a mental illness as a contributing factor of my worth. This stage in the recovery process has taken many years of therapy but more important the unconditional love and acceptance that I have been lucky to have received from immediate loved ones/family has been a contributing factor.
Another factor is that it is very important for everyone to understand that living with a mental illness does not have to mean that one has to give up on life, on hopes and dreams. It does take a lot of work and sometimes it even means developing thick skin because unfortunately there are always those that lack compassion and sensitivity.
As a professional, I want you to know that I have met more people with serious challenges working helping others, when the first thing they should be doing is getting help for themselves. Kind of reminds me of "Do as I say not as I do". It's denial and I am sure you have seen this as well. The workaholic, the micromanager, the anal retentive perfectionists who is quick to make you feel worthless because they feel this way about self. Then we may have loved ones who really do not understand our condition but they should be educating themselves so they can be less judgemental and more supportive.
Just like any illness, those living with one need to know they are still loved, respected, worthy, intelligent, creative, and can still be major contributor's to their families and communities.
If you have time, google famous people with mental illnesses and you will be surprised how many people live with illnesses and lived and/or live wonderful lives in addition to struggling.
I know how it feels to be frowned at, talked about, lied about, and made to feel totally stigmatized by a label. I am at a different place today and I am grateful for this. Today, I believe that people who judge what they are unaware of or are even indignant towards others sometimes act foolishly because they have their own issues and the difference is that I am dedicated to my well being. There is no time for denial. It does not matter what the label is.
If something ails you, please get help, educate yourself, educate your loved ones, know your rights and always keep in mind...................You Are Not Alone!
Let's try to have a blessed year, be better people and first and foremost take care of ourselves (we deserve all of the blessings coming our way).
Best,

Tags: healthy living, womens health, mental health, mens health, Other, sleep problems, recovery, discrimination, pregnancy, transplants, preventive medicine, lung conditions, Cancer, Infectious Disease, respect, eye conditions, kidney conditions, Skin Conditions, sports medicine, Scholarship contest

sillyblone, China, drashok and 2 others like this
ponydreamer

Posted by @ponydreamer, Jan 12, 2012

i so enjoyed your post so upbeat and encouraging

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roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Jan 13, 2012

Hi Dreamer, never stop dreaming 🙂 your friend Rox

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Posted by Anonymous-3f3b8acb, Jan 30, 2012

I am frustrated this beautiful morning. It is troublesome when ones employer is the reason one became incapacitated due to unlawful practices and the employer is funded by the federal government to treat persons with mental illnesses.
This field has some horrible people working in it.

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roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Feb 1, 2012

You sound like me. I was scheduled to return to work yesterday but my employer, a lead mental health agency, total hypocracy, refused to inform me of where to report. Therefore, I had no choice to extend my leave. I totally agree that there are some truly horrible people working in the mental health field. Having said that, I believe there are more consumers working in the field who use their status, their titles, their work as a form of therapy but that not appropriate. If you are working in the mental health field is it imperative that you get professional treatment for your own issues because you can actually hurt others instead of helping them. Transference and countertransference can be hurtful so for those of us that are priviledge with having both roles please protect both and make sure your issues are not interfering with your work.
My dear friend wrote me today and said "bullies don't like it when people fight back". Oh well,
God Bless

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roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Jan 24, 2012

Hi Momentum,
Hang in there. You are stronger than you feel. I live with an illness and have many friends and relatives who do as well. It is not easy and there will be trying times but you have to have faith in your higher power as well as your son. Being 19 is challenging enough and then you ad OCD and not willing to accept treatment makes things even harder. Try baby steps. When a person learns that in addition to all they are already experiencing they have another label it can be very easy to get into denial mode. Start by getting pamphlets, educating everyone in his inner circle as well as him. Try to find a local social club or a support group. You also have to do positive things for yourself because if you are not well it will be extremely difficult to be supportive.
Having said all that, if at any point you feel that he is a danger to himself or someone else call an ambulance and have him admitted. It may sound cruel but he may also be depressed and may need more intensive treatment at the beginning. All you can do is try. When I suggest that people support their loved ones unconditionally by no means to I mean jeopardize your own well being. It sounds like you are dealing with a lot on your own but you don't have to. Try reaching out to your community for help. As for his future, that may be too much to focus on right now and speaking from personal experience it is never too late to accomplish ones hopes and dreams but first one has to be stable in order to hope and dream and it does not sound like he is at this stage.
Always take time out for yourself Momentum and have faith that things will get better. Remember, being diagnosed with an illness is not the persons fault and it may take that person some time to come to grips with the reality that he/she needs to accept help in order to recover.

savanti

Posted by @savanti, Jan 25, 2012

Hi, one of the biggest problems people have once they are told of their mental illness, they use it as a crutch, which allows them to use their condition when they want or to take advantage of certain situations or to say what ever they want and you have to accept it. Just because a person has a condition doesn't mean they are disabled or not intelligent in any way. They can accomplish what ever they put their mind to, the sad part is a doctor told them they have a condition and now they become so fixed on it, it begins to be a big part of their life. >I stepped up to the base and took on helping a 40 year old living with ocd, bipolar, severe depression, and living with paranoid schidzophrenia to the point I would find him hiding in the pantry to advoid being detected by the government with their heat sensors. He couldn't afford his medications at a cost of a $1000 a month, so, this guy was a wreck. Four months later, his boss(employer) asked him "Wayne are you back on your medication?" Wayne said no, Rusty has been helping me. By the way he was dianosed with ocd and bipolar in high school.
The brain is a very powerful tool once a person can control their thoughts. How does a person control their thoughts? By being selective of their thoughts. Its very important to know what the future looks like, its very important to prepare things today to make tomorrow easier, its very important to address issues with a positive attitude the same way a child is taught, plan tomorrow by illiminating any situation which may create stress,(remember when a person has too many little stresses, they can feel like one big one) write down everything you do in a day and do it again the next day like a journal, what you will see after a couple of months are paterns which are habits.
What I learned about people in generalthey are creatures of habits. when aperson has a mental condition this type of living allows the person to spend most of their time reliving the past or their looking to the future with very little hope. So, my advice to shake things up before more habits are developed. Habits allows you to eat, clean, watch tv, listen to a conversation, drive, and while doing these things be able to think about non-productive things like "I can do anything, I have a mental condition, I don't feel good, I this and I that. But, when a person is faced with new things to do each day, they havn't time to get lost on their petty trip.
I gave Wayne so many new things to think about he didn't have time to look back or to think about himself. I'm talking about a man who has been living with mental illnesses for over 20 years and here he was without medication and getting better with each day.
A person can chose to stay in their world or they can say If, I don't change my way of thinking I will not have a future. A person with any kind of mental illness has the ability to make decisions about their future. Looking back on yesterday only means tomorrow will be like today.

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roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Feb 6, 2012

Not everyone, depending on diagnosis, can control there thoughts. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can be very good in helping change negative thought patterns but this is not done in a day. This is one reason I added this specific post. Mental illness, means mental illness and no one in their right mind chooses to remain ill. There are many contributing factors; psychotic, trauma, delusional, drugs, etc. What one person can do with ease takes a lot of effort to another. No one size fits all mentality. Care has to be individualized.

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roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Jan 25, 2012

Hi,
I totally agree that persons with disabilities can do anything. I have a masters degree and a full-time job. In 20 years, I became incapacitated once but that does not mean living with an illness that I did not cause is easy. Some may use an illness as a crutch, some may truly be incapacitated a lot of the time and some may be in the early stages of their illness and acceptance can take time. I have met some wonderful people with chronic mental illnesses who have high IQ's, are artistic, educated, employed, in healthy relations and have loving and supportive families, friends and communities.
I have also met wonderful people who are so ill that it consumes them. As a consumer and an employee I am able to see both sides and I still believe unconditional love and acceptance are important components in the recovery process.
It makes a big difference to know one is loved and accepted regardless of a diagnosis. I have witnessed how powerful it can be but I also know it can be draining. I am one woman with one outlook from the inside and outside but I am so happy my post has generated discussion because it is a wonderful way for all of us to become more aware of others experiences and thoughts.
Thank you so much for your post....Rox

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anon22107581

Posted by @anon22107581, Feb 1, 2012

Hi Roxie43

I appreciate all your advise to us . It helps us think clearly . It's overwhelming situation when you have chronic illness .in denying not accepting the symptoms. Im glad your in the post.

Rosie and dahlia

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roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Feb 2, 2012

Thank You. I also get a lot out of hearing your stories and it also reminds me that I too am not alone. It's a nice support system for all of us.
Take Care,

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china

Posted by @china, Mar 29, 2012

I agree.

anon33437135

Posted by @anon33437135, Jan 26, 2012

Yes ,amen .we all want to be respected even if we have Dissabilities we are still able, capable , ability to make a difference in the world .

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roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Jan 30, 2012

Hi,
How are you? I have not heard from you in a while. I hope 2012 is being good to you. I missed your articulate and passionate posts.
Take care

drashok

Posted by @drashok, Feb 2, 2012

People who care for those having mental illness have a lot on their plate. They too need affection. Mental health professionals need to give adequate information and support to the care givers.

Bettyann and China like this
roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Feb 2, 2012

I totally agree. There are support groups and providers can also get their own counseling to learn how to better cope.

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Apr 13, 2012

Hope you are well Dr.....Have not heard back from you.

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Feb 22, 2012

It is heartbreaking when one hears that a former partner is ill again but refuses to accept treatment and does not comply with doctors treatment plan. This person put me through the ringer but no matter what I have been supportive because I cannot be a hypocrite. Today is a good day for me and a day of suffering for a friend so its bittersweet. Regardless of the past I cannot wish suffering on anyone.
That's the distinct difference between some and I.
Every human being deserves respect especially people who are in emotional pain.
May God bless him today and always......

Groenke likes this
roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Mar 1, 2012

Please read Piglits post on my stigma and mental illness discussion! Her post is a perfect example of how powerful being good to one another is. She shared a story about a man named Mark. We all should learn a valuable lesson from this experience.
Have a blessed day,
Rox

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Mar 2, 2012

There is a loved one that I wish I could be more supportive to. An ex and it's difficult due to denial which makes this so difficult because you can't be supportive to a person who does not even accept treatment
I still pray for him.

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Mar 14, 2012

For my well-being I had to take a step back. One thing is to be supportive but when a person is in denial support can feel alienating.
I simply said - I'm around if you need me and have decided to live my life. Not an easy thing to do but he's an adult and when and if he's ready to get help I'll be in his corner only if he wants me to.
Rox 🙁

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piglit

Posted by @piglit, Mar 14, 2012

You can only help people sometimes if they will accept the help and advice that we offer. I am sure in time if he needs you he will talk to you. But for now the best thing to do is to sit on the fence as the old saying goes Take care Piglit

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Mar 16, 2012

Again, you're right- its so upsetting though because there are some people who wished they had more support. I can't battle with denial Piglit so I have no choice but to sit on the fence.

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Mar 7, 2012

I have to practice what I preach. It can be so stressful when someone we care about is in denial. I often feel like I'm doing more, caring more and stressing myself out, which I really don't need, just to ensure this person is well.
Unconditional love and support is not always easy, I know, but it is a wonderful feeling to know that someone worse off always feels supported. By no means easy, but God knows that making another human being feel cared for goes a long way as long as we are not jeopardizing our own health and well being.
Lesson: be good to other's but make sure you're not neglecting your own needs.
Have a blessed evening
Rox

China likes this
roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Mar 11, 2012

From my public and private discussions on this post I have been made aware that unconditional support can be very draining and stressful.
By no means put your own well being at risk. Individual's who care for loved ones should definitely be getting their own support and respite so burn out and resentment does not occur.
We cannot help others if we to have unresolved or new challenges.
Please take good care of yourselves.
Rox

China likes this
china

Posted by @china, Mar 23, 2012

I suffer from depression and my buddy ocd. Support is work but if we really care we support each other no matter what.

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roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Mar 28, 2012

Most definitely! Without support recovery is all the more challenging.
Rox

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Mar 22, 2012

Hoping she knew I never judged her and admired her gentle spirit

RIP ~ SPADES

china

Posted by @china, Mar 29, 2012

My condolences. You care for others a great deal and God notices even if you think no one sees it. Thanks

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Mar 30, 2012

Thank you China and welcome to our community.
Rox

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Mar 25, 2012

Acceptance & unconditional support, love and the willingness to be good to other's needs to be inclusive of doing the very same for ourselves!
Sweet dreams
Rox

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Mar 26, 2012

The importance of being kind; makes a world of difference to others and oneself because tomorrow is not promised to anyone
Rox

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roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Apr 2, 2012

Off to Florida for grandma's funeral tomorrow and acceptance and unconditional support just may be a challenge in a large family with lots of personalities!
I am hoping that all can remain focused....paying respect to an Angel.
Rox

piglit

Posted by @piglit, Apr 2, 2012

I will be thinking of you. I am sure that everything will be okay, and that Grammy will be put to rest in a dignified manner which is what she truly deserves. Grammy was your beautiful angel on earth, now your beautiful angel watching down on you from heaven. God bless always Piglit

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roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Apr 5, 2012

This has been tested these past few days with such a large paternal family with so many personalities and issues but family and friends are so important!!!!
Have a blessed day all,
Rox

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piglit

Posted by @piglit, Apr 5, 2012

They most certainly are all so important and each and everyone in someway makes a difference

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Apr 7, 2012

Life ......can be such a beautiful experience that can often be taken for granted. I want to continue growing and being a better person.
This past week forced many in my family to forgive and come together to celebrate and mourn the life of an amazing woman.
Why is it that death brings people together when most of the time everyone is so busy that one hardly ever sees them? This needs to change because it's important to show one another how much one is appreciated.
I always say "If you were not there for me in life don't come around when I'm gone".....
Have a blessed evening all.
Rox

piglit

Posted by @piglit, Apr 7, 2012

So true Roxie, We all need to reflect on the life and what it has to offer us. We can all grow through different experiences and challenges that we are faced with. Sometimes somethings are harder than others as in the event of losing someone who we love. ThIs sad time in our lives can make us all realize that maybe it is time to forgive and move on with things and not to dwell on them. We need to make time for each other, it's sad in a way to think that the only time we do see some of family and friends is the passing of a very dear relative. Some stay, some go I know when my Dad died he had a full Naval Funeral. I was so devastated but felt comfort that everyone of his mates on the Corvette from the war were there to honour him, but then I felt sad as to why they hadn.t been there all along for him and that I had never met some of them. We all so need to be there for each other each and everyday. The world would sure be a bettter place . I think anyway. As the old saying goes we need to fly with the good times and try not to dwell too much on the dissapointing ones and the things we can't change. God Bless Piglit

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Apr 18, 2012

I try not to dwell and if I find myself doing so I try to find something to do to distract myself but I'm sure we all know that from time to time traumatizing memories creep up on us and make us feel worthless all over again.
This is one reason that weekly talk therapy is so important in the recovery process.
Rox

piglit

Posted by @piglit, Apr 18, 2012

A really good positive approach. It's not good to dwell on things. I find talking a wpnderful way to expresss the way we feel.It's good to talk it's not good to keep it bottled up inside Piglit

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