How about a laugh, (hopefully)

Posted by Leonard @jakedduck1, Dec 31, 2018

I believe laughter is the best medicine. Laughter has actually been scientifically proven to help people with depression issues.
Let’s give it a try so we can all get happy and feel better. Many Epilepsy forums I’ve been on had joke sections. I was probably the biggest joke of all since I didn’t get a lot of the jokes. They said the jokes couldn’t be above 4th grade level for me to understand them so my jokes may be rather simplistic but let’s give it a try.
Have a lovely day everyone,
Jake

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This is a little anecdote from my recent trip to Mayo-Rochester. Not a joke but it brought a few chuckles so I thought I’d share it here.

I left the hotel with a pillow. It was too wonderful to leave behind! I couldn't break up the love affair between the two of us. So I went to the desk to see how I could make an honest woman out of myself and continue my love affair. 😂
I told another friend I loved that pillow so much I would have bought it dinner. After all, we spent two amazing nights in bed together.

Someone else told me to just take the pillow but I’m not a thief and knew if I took it without paying, I’d never have a restful night again on that purloined pillow. I was able to make the purchase and realize that $$ can buy love. Zzzzzzzzz

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@jakedduck1

@sueinmn
I have an answer to that but I'm already in enough hot water.
However, I would like to understand this. So it is permissible to post jokes about men but not women? Is that right?
Jake

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Nah! I was just messing with you. Let's just try to hit a balance, okay?
Sue

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@loribmt

This is a little anecdote from my recent trip to Mayo-Rochester. Not a joke but it brought a few chuckles so I thought I’d share it here.

I left the hotel with a pillow. It was too wonderful to leave behind! I couldn't break up the love affair between the two of us. So I went to the desk to see how I could make an honest woman out of myself and continue my love affair. 😂
I told another friend I loved that pillow so much I would have bought it dinner. After all, we spent two amazing nights in bed together.

Someone else told me to just take the pillow but I’m not a thief and knew if I took it without paying, I’d never have a restful night again on that purloined pillow. I was able to make the purchase and realize that $$ can buy love. Zzzzzzzzz

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@loribmt
That last line is priceless!
Loved the whole story

Fl Mary

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@sueinmn

Nah! I was just messing with you. Let's just try to hit a balance, okay?
Sue

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@sueinmn
Okay, its a deal.
Jake

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What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?
Because if they all went, it would be Hell.

How are husbands like lawnmowers?
They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.

How can you tell when a man is well hung?
When you can just barely slip your finger between his neck and the noose.

How do men define a "50/50" relationship?
We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.

How do men exercise on the beach?
By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.

How does a man show he's planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.

Why is it good that there are female astronauts?
When the crew gets lost in space, the woman will ask for directions.

Why are all dumb blonde jokes one-liners?
So men can understand them.

Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
Because not one will stop and ask for directions.

Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women?
When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.

Men are like.....Weather.
Nothing can be done to change either one of them.

Men are like.....Blenders.
You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

Men are like.....Commercials.
You can't believe a word they say.

Men are like.....Horoscopes.
They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

How do men exercise on the beach?
By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.

How does a man show he's planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one

What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.

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@imallears

@loribmt
That last line is priceless!
Loved the whole story

Fl Mary

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Thanks Mary. I got a little teary-eyed at the thought of leaving without the pillow!
I’d ordered pillows from the hotel online store before but they always disappointed. I wanted this one!
Told my poor doting husband that we were going to have a puffy guest coming home with us. He was not amused when he heard I was going to the desk and suggested that “they” wouldn’t allow that to happen.
I said, “Hold my beer, I’m going down stairs”. (In reality, it was a cup of tea). 😅
Full disclosure we’ve stayed at that hotel 200+ nights and in the past 3 years. The super sweet manager at the desk laughed and said that I’m not the first to ask. ☺️

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A man asks, “God, why did you make woman so beautiful?” God responded, ”So you would love her.” The man asks, “But God, why did you make her so dumb?” God replied, “So she would love you.”

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A man was visiting his mother who had recently moved. Unfortunately, while he was there, she passed away. He called the funeral home to ask if they could pick her up.

Funeral home guy - “Where do you live”?

“Over here on Eucalyptus street?”

“Can you spell that?”

—- a pause ——-

“How about if I drag her over to Elm Street?”

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@loribmt

Thanks Mary. I got a little teary-eyed at the thought of leaving without the pillow!
I’d ordered pillows from the hotel online store before but they always disappointed. I wanted this one!
Told my poor doting husband that we were going to have a puffy guest coming home with us. He was not amused when he heard I was going to the desk and suggested that “they” wouldn’t allow that to happen.
I said, “Hold my beer, I’m going down stairs”. (In reality, it was a cup of tea). 😅
Full disclosure we’ve stayed at that hotel 200+ nights and in the past 3 years. The super sweet manager at the desk laughed and said that I’m not the first to ask. ☺️

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@loribmt When my daughter lived in NYC we used to stay at a Hilton close to her in Times Square. I LOVED the pillows there so I finally went to their website and bought one for myself. It has a core and is down-wrapped. It truly is a great pillow for me and when it wears out I will get the exact same pillow again.

When I went to the website they were on sale. Of course maybe they're always on sale, but the price was reasonable.

I was a manager at a very nice Inn in our town before retiring - 4.5 stars. I never had the opportunity to sleep on their beds but people were always asking about them and having us order one for them! Hotel beds, at good hotels, really can be pretty comfortable.
JK

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