What IS the point? Adult kids don't seem to care.

What happened? Did she respond? 💕

How do I do this... private message?

I just sent you a private message. If you go to my profile, you have the chance to send me one, or you can reply to mine.
Ginger

@nousername, as you can see, you're not alone. Your starting this discussion has brought together many voices that feel similar or have in the past. How are you doing today?

My daughter and family abandoned me when a Hurricane destroyed our home 7 years ago. Last year she reached out and we tried to work on our relationship. On Christmas Day I received an email from her stating she will only have a relationship with me on HER terms-2 days before a major surgery. I too sacrificed everything for this 41 yo nurse at Mayo. There is nothing left to live for when your life once revolved around your only living child and grandchildren. God have mercy on my grandchildren.

Sending you love, Kelly. I don't portend to understand any of this treatment by them...it's incredulous they would be this way. Just knowing I'm not alone makes it a little easier. 💕💕 Lin

What if you don't believe in god?

Life is not what it once was. The adult children today are very different than we were. I call it the entitlement generation. The are so self absorbed with themselves and their life that others sit on the back burner including parents. They can be selfish, so self absorbed they only focus on themselves and their family and have entitlement issues. That about sums it up.

I don't believe. It makes no difference. Any changes we accomplish in our relationships have to come come thru our own efforts. It's ok not to believe. 👍🏼💕

Hi all,
This conversation has brought together a new group of people experiencing the sense of abandonment by their adult children. It's obvious by the response that this situation is experienced by many, which was confirmed when I did a quick Google search on the topic.

With respect to the community guidelines (https://connect.mayoclinic.org/blog/about-connect/tab/community-guidelines/), I would like to keep the conversation inclusive and not focused on specific religious beliefs.

What can we do when we feel abandoned by our adult children? Here are a few articles I found during the aforementioned internet search that offer insight and practical tips:
- What to Do When Your Adult Children Don’t Like You https://www.nextavenue.org/what-do-when-your-adult-children-dont-you/
- 5 Reasons Why Adult Children Estrange From Their Parents https://wehavekids.com/family-relationships/adult-child-estranged-reasons
- Dear Therapist: I Don’t Understand Why My Son Won’t Talk to Me https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2019/06/my-adult-child-wont-talk-me/591274/

What stood out for me from all these articles is the need to see the situation from another perspective. My daughter only moved away from home this year. When returning home on breaks from university, she has the choice of coming home or going to her boyfriend's place. If I were 20 again, I know which I would choose, right? 🙂 My focus when she or she and her boyfriend come to visit, is to make our home a place they would like to return to visit. This is new for me, so I'm learning from you.

I know many of you are feeling like they should change, but the only person we can change is ourselves. If you've read the articles, what resonated with you? What might be one thing you could change?