What IS the point? Adult kids don't seem to care.

Posted by nousername @nousername, Dec 25, 2021

Adult kids don’t care to see us. Don’t even bother to text. We’ve been nothing but generous and helpful. I built my life around them. Big mistake. Don’t talk about God or faith. I don’t know a single person who could deal with my life. What’s the point in trying to feel better? Yes, I know it could be way worse.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Depression & Anxiety Support Group.

@anonymous260206

It would be so nice for those of us (one of whom I am) if we could share our telephone number, sometimes hearing a friendly voice is all that one needs, but I am not complaining, I have all of you. Thank you for being available when I write.

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@esikora and @nannette2022 it is possible to exchange phone numbers if you write Private Messages to each other. For your safety it’s discouraged put private, personal information out in the forum. But if you want to exchange personal information with other members through PM that’s up to you. ☺️

Just use discretion when giving out personal contact information. Is this something you’d feel comfortable doing?

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Completely agree. I'm devastated with the knowledge that my grown daughter cares nothing about me after I sacrificed everything for her.

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The point is is that you are stuck on yourself and you don't realize it. You're to quick to discard God and faith. Here is an example: that you think that you are greater than God and put yourself on the throne as the almighty. Your faith is in yourself and you expect to be worshipped. You say that you built your whole life aroind your kids. Be grateful for what you gave to them and expect nothing in return. But you are expecting something in return. Look for the pleasure and reward of giving because you can. Give thanks for your capabilities to give of yourself. Isn"t that what Christmas is all about. God loves you and gave someone very precious to Him for you. He said Me for you. Love me. His adult children don't want anything to do with Him. Sound familiar? But He loves His children and gives of Himself. God loves you. Take it! Love Him back! You will witness great change.
I hope you do. Then you will see "the point" of it all. I truly hope you do.
To add more: I don't know you but I really care about you. I love you as a friend and want you to be filled with joy and satisfaction. Thanks for sharing your disappointments. I'd love to hear from you. Victor

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@nousername

Yes. Tired of living. And angry though, for the abandonment. I want to abandon them and I just can’t let myself. It’s all too much work, the “being grateful or what I have,” the putting in a happy face, the shoving down my feelings. The realization that lots of folks have it worse. Nobody can be bothered to check in on me, in spite of knowing what I’ve been going through. I’ve been the support for so many family and friends through the years. When I need it, radio silence.

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I too am tired of living. I wake up every morning feeling doom even though I am on an antidepressant. My home burned down in May. I was abandoned by all the people I have supported tirelessly throughout my life. You are probably like me, I gave but didn't expect anything in return. This experience however has made me bitter. Yesterday was Xmas. Not one of my friends I have helped through the years called or sent me a card. It hurts. I feel used and wonder why I was so generous.

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@esikora

"Reach out to others" "Group of people"...what if you have none?
And let's throw COVID into the mix, when simply speaking to a cashier in the grocery store is a threat.

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@esikora @nannette2022 By posting here on Mayo Clinic Connect, we are reaching out, yes, even in times of bad weather, distance, the pandemic of Covid-19 and its variables, or our own health issues. Never underestimate the power of the internet to find a set of people you can literally connect with. This is how many of us are coping with isolation and feelings of despair. And you just never know, as nannette said, who will be an important person to reach back to you, like the rabbi in New York.

A gift of time, service, or funds are best looked as as just that, a gift, with no expectations to receive something in return, except how it makes us feel inside, knowing we were able to do something for someone. Just my humble opinion.
Ginger

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@linamend

Completely agree. I'm devastated with the knowledge that my grown daughter cares nothing about me after I sacrificed everything for her.

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Last night / early AM I thought I was going to die, I was scare - Blood pressure 240/130 I had some left over medication - I had stopped taking it (I knew better right?) so I took the medication, did not want to die alone in my bed with no one finding me for ever... This morning, I sent an email to my daughter, asking for forgiveness, I did not care who was guilty, I wanted to make peace, for my sake, for my peace of mind. Hugs.

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@anonymous260206

Last night / early AM I thought I was going to die, I was scare - Blood pressure 240/130 I had some left over medication - I had stopped taking it (I knew better right?) so I took the medication, did not want to die alone in my bed with no one finding me for ever... This morning, I sent an email to my daughter, asking for forgiveness, I did not care who was guilty, I wanted to make peace, for my sake, for my peace of mind. Hugs.

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@nannette2022 That must have been so scary for you! I am glad you reached out here to tell us. And very glad you reached out to your daughter.

How are you doing right now? [I will be away from my computer for several hours, so there may be a delayin me getting back to you.
Please let me know her response, will you?
Ginger

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@gingerw

@nannette2022 That must have been so scary for you! I am glad you reached out here to tell us. And very glad you reached out to your daughter.

How are you doing right now? [I will be away from my computer for several hours, so there may be a delayin me getting back to you.
Please let me know her response, will you?
Ginger

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Ginger, it was scary, I now know that I DO NOT WANT TO COMMIT SUICIDE, I DO NOT WANT TO DIE. My daughter told me she had been scared to contact me. I responded a long email, that I love her, asking for her forgiveness and that I hope we could be friends, mother/daughter. And really Ginger, how can I expect the world to be at peace if I cannot even get along with my daughter? I ask God for forgiveness for my behavior, and I promised Him that with His help my attitude, my behavior, my vocabulary will change... with HIS HELP.

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@anonymous260206

Ginger, it was scary, I now know that I DO NOT WANT TO COMMIT SUICIDE, I DO NOT WANT TO DIE. My daughter told me she had been scared to contact me. I responded a long email, that I love her, asking for her forgiveness and that I hope we could be friends, mother/daughter. And really Ginger, how can I expect the world to be at peace if I cannot even get along with my daughter? I ask God for forgiveness for my behavior, and I promised Him that with His help my attitude, my behavior, my vocabulary will change... with HIS HELP.

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@nannette2022 This makes my heart sing, to read this! I am in your corner, and please feel free to contact me by private message if you so desire.

Off line until much later today. We have to drive north in the snow for my surgery tomorrow morning. It normally is a two hr drive in summer; no clue how long it will take today!
Ginger

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It is so painful to feel neglected and alone during the holidays especially. My son lives 95 miles from us yet we saw them a total of 3 times last year for a total of less than 10 hours. I know they are busy but have plenty of time for what they want to do. I don't think they give a thought to how alone we are. They want us to move near to them but I don't see the point. Know you are not alone and life is a struggle as we age. My thought are with all of you who find yourself in this lone!y spof.

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