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What IS the point? Adult kids don't seem to care.

Depression & Anxiety | Last Active: Apr 4 9:07pm | Replies (125)

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@roxiesmom13

It is so painful to feel neglected and alone during the holidays especially. My son lives 95 miles from us yet we saw them a total of 3 times last year for a total of less than 10 hours. I know they are busy but have plenty of time for what they want to do. I don't think they give a thought to how alone we are. They want us to move near to them but I don't see the point. Know you are not alone and life is a struggle as we age. My thought are with all of you who find yourself in this lone!y spof.

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Replies to "It is so painful to feel neglected and alone during the holidays especially. My son lives..."

@roxiesmom13 It is painful to watch close family relationships and feeling the lack in one’s own. I am in the latter category too, but I have decided to try and “renovate my empty nest”. So far it has not been easy, but I realize I am the only one who can make the change.

If it is possible, do move closer to where your son lives, if not right in the same city. If you can drive, that’s half life’s battle won - I am unable to drive because of partial blindness.

My son also lived an hour and a half (on a good day) to two hours away and we rarely saw him - lucky if we saw him, daughter-in-law and baby granddaughter for a few hours at Easter, Thanksgiving, birthdays and Christmas, and even then it was a rushed visit.

Moving to their city wasn’t my first choice because I loved the city I was in but my husband hated driving the distance any time we wanted to visit them (I don’t drive so unfortunately he driving was left to him - he hates driving!) so he insisted this is where we should move. It has been a difficult seven months getting used to this place and I do feel quite isolated here; I have joined a couple of activities at a community centre and a Bible study group, but the biggest benefit has been that we have seen our son and granddaughter more often than we did before. We were strangers to our baby granddaughter before, but now she has bonded with us and looks forward to her visits with and from us.

One thing I have made a point of doing too, is to smile and say hello to anyone I pass and I have yet to get a frown in return! This has been so much easier now that we don’t have a masking mandate! ☺️ I also try to get the names of people I speak to - cashiers, receptionists, etc. are more responsive when addressed by their names and with a smile, I have learned.