How about a laugh, (hopefully)

This made me giggle.

Husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf.

Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.

The husband shouted, "I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us."

So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door.

A warm voice said, "Come on in."

When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the broken window.

A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke my window?"

"Uh...yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that," the husband replied.

"Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You see, I'm a ghost, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each a wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for myself."

"Wow, that's great!" the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, "I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life."

"No problem," said the ghost. "You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll guarantee you a long and healthy life!"

"And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the ghost asked. "I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country in the world," she said.

"Consider it done," the ghost said. "And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!"

"And now," the couple asked in unison, "what's your wish, ghost?"

"Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have your wife."

The husband looked at his wife and said, "honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?"

She mulled it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?"

"You know I love you sweetheart," said the husband.

"I'd do the same for you!" So the ghost and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon. The ghost was insatiable.

After about three hours of non-stop fun, the ghost looked directly into her eyes and asked, "How old are you and your husband?"

"Why, we're both 35," she responded breathlessly.

The ghost smiled –

Really???

Thirty-five years old and both still believe in ghosts?

Always been glad I'm a brunette; or used to be. Does white hair make you a blonde???

@loribmt. Your little Golden picture made me laugh out loud, by my SELF! My middle son has a young and naughty Golden named Brody. But he's gorgeous and we all love him.

Hey

Hi! Love your profile picture. You look like you’re just itching to say something or you’re deep in thought. What’s up? ☺️

Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect, by the way. I’m one of the mentors in this awesome forum. It’s a great place to jump into conversations, share life journeys, toss out ideas, bits of inspiration or support other members.
May I ask what brought you to Connect?

@mgst55
Hey to you too,
Do you have any jokes to share?
As you can see if you’ve read any of my jokes they don’t have to be particularly good.
Any good candy shops in your neck of the woods?
Jake

This morning I made a stop at the local shoe store for a pair of boots and replacement walking sandals for Texas just as they opened, thinking "This will be quick and easy." About 50 other people must have thought the same - or were trying to beat the coming snow storm. And almost 1/2 of the staff called in sick.

So I had a lot of time to wander and look. (Uh Oh, bad idea - letting me loose in a shoe store with time to browse.)
I kept walking around seeing bits of black rubber on the floor and thinking "Somebody REALLY needs new shoes!"
I ended up buying three pairs of shoes and left the store feeling a little guilty.
As I continued on my errands, I was thinking "The sidewalk seems really uneven today, maybe I stepped in some gum."
I lifted my foot to look, and my favorite walking shoe had shed about 1/3 of its rubber sole. Then I looked at the other one, and it was beginning to peel off too!
Fortunately, the third pair of shoes I bought were new walking shoes "for when these wear out" - now I don't feel guilty anymore!

Sue

@sueinmn

I don’t know anyone who walked the rubber off their shoes. I thought I was the walker when my daily walking sneakers shed one piece of its rubbery sole and they are at least 15 years old.
But then they are only used an hour a day. But Sue….lol…..

FL Mary

A guy driving his pick-up truck towing a horse trailer, along the highway by the Pine Ridge, Reservation, in South Dakota, sees an elderly Lakota man on the side of the road. He stops his truck and asks the old man: “Grandfather, would you like a ride into town?”

The elderly Lakota man said: “Yes, thank you, I would.” So he gets in the truck, and down the road they go. After a few minutes of idle chit-chat, the elderly Lakota man asks: “Do you have anything in the trailer?” The guy says: “Why yes, as a matter of fact I do.” “I just got a new horse for my wife.”

The elderly Lakota man, chuckled and said: “Good trade.“