desperate for help

Posted by paparaines @paparaines, May 17, 2021

Hello, I am new to this website and I am not sure where to start, so here is my background. I have been diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety and have had this for many years. The last 3 years have really been the worst. I wake up each day dreading to face the day of anxiety and stress, finding myself often paralyzed to do anything. I stress out over things that are not real or that I just can not face like mowing or going on an errand by myself. I have lost all joy and desire to do things I used to like working outside on our property, doing my hobby of target shooting, etc. I am so sad and often dark all the time. I find my memory is sketchy both long and short term. I feel isolated from family and friends except for my wife and occasionally our son’s family for special events. I really just want to stay inside, on the couch, doing nothing, where it feels safe and I do not have to face my anxiety. I feel lonely, even though my wife is here and is really supportive of me. In fact, I have become very dependent on her for doing everything, which makes me feel bad/ashamed/guilty for not doing my share. I have had problems going to and staying asleep, though in the last 2 weeks that has improved some with low dose Serequel. I had major picnic attacks, which seem to have subsided with the addition of Rexulti. I have a psychiatrist who has been working with me to find the right med balance- it has only had limited success- I was told I may have a medication resistant form of depression I started seeing a psychologist for cognitive therapy ( only about 6 times), but she moved her practice and I have had no success in finding someone- most of them are not taking any more patients- still looking. What I really was hoping for was a med that would just work and turn off this depression and let me live my life. My wife tells me this is not realistic and that it needs to be a multipronged treatment,. Just writing this has been stressful. I came here because she suggested I might connect with others who are or have experienced what I am going through and perhaps I might find more strategies to help me deal with this daily fear and anxiety and depression that has robed me of my life, because right now I fear it will never go away.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Depression & Anxiety Support Group.

@loribmt

@marjou Your post this morning really touched my heart. I’m so sorry you have this deep level of depression and mood swings. You mentioned trying medications and tools for overcoming this and nothing has worked.

I’m a generally overly-perky person, so when I went spiraled down into a deep depression in my early 40s for no discernible reason it was frightening. I had mood swings and an all encompassing dark veil around me constantly. There was nothing negative going on in my life. It just happened! It was debilitating, my 10 year old daughter and husband suffered along with me as their lives were greatly affected as well.

Blood tests from my gynecologist at the time showed a serious hormonal imbalance due to my hitting peri menopause. It was recommend I take hormone replacement therapy. Since my mother had issues with the mainstream HRT, I wasn’t keen on taking them. However, my doctor was open to alternative medicine and prescribed a plant based hormone balancing cream instead, Rebalancing my hormones made all the difference in the world! I applied the cream in 1/4 tsp amounts once per day on my arm and it was like a miracle drug for me, completely restoring my annoyingly perky demeanor.

I’m curious if you’re doctor has ever run a hormone test on you?
It’s just a thought and in no way meant to be a diagnosis. I’ve found a couple of articles relating to this.
Peace...Lori.

https://renewmetoday.com/blog/2020/07/13/why-hormone-imbalance-cause-depression-and-anxiety/
https://www.endocrineweb.com/hormonal-imbalances-depression

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I am so interested in the hormone theory.
I have questioned GPs and Psychiatrists for years about hormones being a factor.
They look at me blankly and say they havent heard of that being a factor.
I suffered Depression and Anxiety with bad PMT. I had post natal depression with anxiety and when becoming menopausal had a breakdown.
My son had his first bout of depression at 14 and has battled with it and anxiety all his life. He is 51 now and just about at the very bottom of that BLACK HOLE. He also thinks hormones play a big part in it.
Does anyone out there know if this is being looked at?
It could be the way out of this he'll if it is.
🙏🕊🤗

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Hi.My 51 year old son is in the same place you are and it is breaking my heart to watch him in that he'll.l feel for you so much.

I am so interested in the hormone theory.
I have questioned GPs and Psychiatrists for years about hormones being a factor.
They look at me blankly and say they havent heard of that being a factor.
I suffered Depression and Anxiety with bad PMT. I had post natal depression with anxiety and when becoming menopausal had a breakdown.
My son had his first bout of depression at 14 and has battled with it and anxiety all his life. He is 51 now and just about at the very bottom of that BLACK HOLE. He also thinks hormones play a big part in it.
Does anyone out there know if this is being looked at?
It could be the way out of this he'll if it is. 🕊🙏🤗

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@dijoy

I am so interested in the hormone theory.
I have questioned GPs and Psychiatrists for years about hormones being a factor.
They look at me blankly and say they havent heard of that being a factor.
I suffered Depression and Anxiety with bad PMT. I had post natal depression with anxiety and when becoming menopausal had a breakdown.
My son had his first bout of depression at 14 and has battled with it and anxiety all his life. He is 51 now and just about at the very bottom of that BLACK HOLE. He also thinks hormones play a big part in it.
Does anyone out there know if this is being looked at?
It could be the way out of this he'll if it is.
🙏🕊🤗

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@dijoy Depression is a monster! I’m so sorry both you and your son are having to deal with this. The two times I’ve had to fight this beast were both hormone related; postnatal and the onset of peri menopause.
Men are no different than women…we are all controlled by our hormones. Men can have imbalances too. Low levels of testosterone, thyroid, serotonin and Vitamin B12 can all have significant impact and can be a factor in causing depression.
Has your son been seen by an endocrinologist?
From my personal experience, my physician also studied naturopathy and corrected my hormonal imbalance with a plant based hormone balancing cream. However, it’s not recommended to use these products without discussing with a physician and having hormone levels checked first.

I agree, more mainstream medicine would do well to research the correlation between hormones and depression.
Wishing you peace. Lori.

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@loribmt

@dijoy Depression is a monster! I’m so sorry both you and your son are having to deal with this. The two times I’ve had to fight this beast were both hormone related; postnatal and the onset of peri menopause.
Men are no different than women…we are all controlled by our hormones. Men can have imbalances too. Low levels of testosterone, thyroid, serotonin and Vitamin B12 can all have significant impact and can be a factor in causing depression.
Has your son been seen by an endocrinologist?
From my personal experience, my physician also studied naturopathy and corrected my hormonal imbalance with a plant based hormone balancing cream. However, it’s not recommended to use these products without discussing with a physician and having hormone levels checked first.

I agree, more mainstream medicine would do well to research the correlation between hormones and depression.
Wishing you peace. Lori.

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Thank you 🕊🙏🤗

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@spudmato

Please consider my suggestion to come in as a low in its' intensity, but caring, since it does not directly answer you comments.
It might be worthwhile to invest a bit of the control that you have in trying to concentrate on what you can control, and the positives that you can reach and latch onto, as limited as they me be. Focusing on what you can't control may just be somewhat wasteful of the limited controls that you have available to you at this time. try to exert you "freedom of will" to whatever extent it is within your power.

Best.

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Right on. Focus on what you CAN do and do those things. When i embraced this thought process - beat in my head by my wife and caregiver - it helped me. It isn’t easy, Believe me - I know first hand what this is like. I know how hard it can be.
Try to change the focus - as was so well stated by @spudmato

Peace
Larry H.

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@larryh123

Right on. Focus on what you CAN do and do those things. When i embraced this thought process - beat in my head by my wife and caregiver - it helped me. It isn’t easy, Believe me - I know first hand what this is like. I know how hard it can be.
Try to change the focus - as was so well stated by @spudmato

Peace
Larry H.

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Trying hard but still haven't been able to find a therapist. Can someone help me demystify Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT)? What is this all about? I'm trying hard to understand what is out there that may help. My meds don't seem to make a big difference in how I feel. Need help to get a handle on therapy.

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@paparaines

Trying hard but still haven't been able to find a therapist. Can someone help me demystify Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT)? What is this all about? I'm trying hard to understand what is out there that may help. My meds don't seem to make a big difference in how I feel. Need help to get a handle on therapy.

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@paparaines Here is an article published by NAMI about self-CBT https://www.nami.org/Blogs/NAMI-Blog/November-2016/Discovering-New-Options-Self-Help-Cognitive-Behav

Also, an article published by Mayo Clinic in their tests and procedures section https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/cognitive-behavioral-therapy/about/pac-20384610

In my own journey, I have found that recognizing I need to do something, to step up and begin to move towards better mental/emotional health, makes the daunting task easier to work with. Please let me comment you on doing this!
Ginger

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I know exactly what your going thru, I was going thru all that until I searched for a psychiatrist, he put me on Sertraline 100mg and Clonazepam 1mg and this medication safe me from anxiety, panic attacks,
Hope this will help you.

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@merpreb

@paparaines- Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. I believe that you came to the right place. It sounds as if you are having a rotten time. I know most of these feelings like the back of my hands. I've been depressed most of my life and I also have a lot of anxiety. I have tried a number of antidepressants and have finally found a combo that seems to work for now.

I have found that anti-depressants do not work alone. I have to exercise (I know, I know) eat a well-balanced diet, and be around people. I also have to do something that takes me out of myself, which for me is Connect. When I was trying out new meds some of them had me feeling just like you describe, a zombie. Could it be that you are over-medicated?

Mentors on Connect are not physicians. We are just like you, patients who help other people with the same sort of problems. Could you tell me a bit more about how long you have been on your new pill regime? Also, could your new meds or supplements be interacting with others that you might be taking?

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I posted a comment about provigil and lyrica to get off of elavil. I’m new here and would like to retrieve it. How can I find it?

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@ranta

I posted a comment about provigil and lyrica to get off of elavil. I’m new here and would like to retrieve it. How can I find it?

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If you click on your member name above a post it will take you to your profile page where you can click Comments at the left to see all of your posts. Here's the link you will get when you click on your member name
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/member/00-af1bfeb228caf9fb238105/activity/comments/

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