How to have relationships while living with depression?

I have suffered from depression and anxiety since I was a child due to a horrific family life and never knowing what kind of a mood my father would be in or whom he would choose to pick on. I have not had an easy life; many subsequent situations of abuse have occurred, as that is normal for battered women. My first suicide attempt was at age 9 -- the last at 21. I currently take duloxitine and buspirone and that helps me a lot. I recently was diagnosed with a rare and extremely painful disease, adhesive arachnoiditis. I also suffer from fibromyalgia. It would be so easy for me to fall back down into that black pit of depression, but I refuse. I am realistic; yes, I have been dealt a terrible blow. I purposely find something to be grateful for each day. Gratitude lifts the spirits. I express my gratitude to the people who bring it and to God (as you know Him) all day long. This helps a lot. I also have two cats who bring me much joy. Happiness is a warm kitty on your lap. I would recommend a mental health animal to everyone. While biological factors are to play in depression and anxiety, we can choose how we think. My thoughts of despair have often led me into that black hole. Sometimes it was PTSD bringing to mind horrible things that happened to me which I had repressed. WE ARE STRONGER THAN WE THINK!!! Find meds that work for you. Be grateful and trust me, joy will come to you. God bless you!

I have suffered from depression and anxiety since I was a child due to a horrific family life and never knowing what kind of a mood my father would be in or whom he would choose to pick on. I have not had an easy life; many subsequent situations of abuse have occurred, as that is normal for battered women. My first suicide attempt was at age 9 -- the last at 21. I currently take duloxitine and buspirone and that helps me a lot. I recently was diagnosed with a rare and extremely painful disease, adhesive arachnoiditis. I also suffer from fibromyalgia. It would be so easy for me to fall back down into that black pit of depression, but I refuse. I am realistic; yes, I have been dealt a terrible blow. I purposely find something to be grateful for each day. Gratitude lifts the spirits. I express my gratitude to the people who bring it and to God (as you know Him) all day long. This helps a lot. I also have two cats who bring me much joy. Happiness is a warm kitty on your lap. I would recommend a mental health animal to everyone. While biological factors are to play in depression and anxiety, we can choose how we think. My thoughts of despair have often led me into that black hole. Sometimes it was PTSD bringing to mind horrible things that happened to me which I had repressed. WE ARE STRONGER THAN WE THINK!!! Find meds that work for you. Be grateful and trust me, joy will come to you. God bless you!

I have suffered from depression and anxiety since I was a child due to a horrific family life and never knowing what kind of a mood my father would be in or whom he would choose to pick on. I have not had an easy life; many subsequent situations of abuse have occurred, as that is normal for battered women. My first suicide attempt was at age 9 -- the last at 21. I currently take duloxitine and buspirone and that helps me a lot. I recently was diagnosed with a rare and extremely painful disease, adhesive arachnoiditis. I also suffer from fibromyalgia. It would be so easy for me to fall back down into that black pit of depression, but I refuse. I am realistic; yes, I have been dealt a terrible blow. I purposely find something to be grateful for each day. Gratitude lifts the spirits. I express my gratitude to the people who bring it and to God (as you know Him) all day long. This helps a lot. I also have two cats who bring me much joy. Happiness is a warm kitty on your lap. I would recommend a mental health animal to everyone. While biological factors are to play in depression and anxiety, we can choose how we think. My thoughts of despair have often led me into that black hole. Sometimes it was PTSD bringing to mind horrible things that happened to me which I had repressed. WE ARE STRONGER THAN WE THINK!!! Find meds that work for you. Be grateful and trust me, joy will come to you. God bless you!

Plus one on this. I'm 67 and lonely. My REAL self is handsome, funny, interesting, good listener, loyal, resourceful, even wise sometimes. My haunted self is fearful, anxious, easily discouraged, pessimistic, ungrateful. I show the first when I meet a woman, and then torture myself asking when and how to be honest about the presence of my other side. I was just dumped by a woman after a torrid affair, because I said too much too soon and she was afraid to commit to my REAL self for fear of my haunted self. Now I'm online dating and trying to handle it differently. It's important that I remember that everyone's showing their best self at first and withholding their dark side. And everyone has a dark side. So who's to say I'm being more dishonest than they are because I don't start by blurting out all of my shortcomings, real or IMAGINED?

Plus one on this. I'm 67 and lonely. My REAL self is handsome, funny, interesting, good listener, loyal, resourceful, even wise sometimes. My haunted self is fearful, anxious, easily discouraged, pessimistic, ungrateful. I show the first when I meet a woman, and then torture myself asking when and how to be honest about the presence of my other side. I was just dumped by a woman after a torrid affair, because I said too much too soon and she was afraid to commit to my REAL self for fear of my haunted self. Now I'm online dating and trying to handle it differently. It's important that I remember that everyone's showing their best self at first and withholding their dark side. And everyone has a dark side. So who's to say I'm being more dishonest than they are because I don't start by blurting out all of my shortcomings, real or IMAGINED?

Plus one on this. I'm 67 and lonely. My REAL self is handsome, funny, interesting, good listener, loyal, resourceful, even wise sometimes. My haunted self is fearful, anxious, easily discouraged, pessimistic, ungrateful. I show the first when I meet a woman, and then torture myself asking when and how to be honest about the presence of my other side. I was just dumped by a woman after a torrid affair, because I said too much too soon and she was afraid to commit to my REAL self for fear of my haunted self. Now I'm online dating and trying to handle it differently. It's important that I remember that everyone's showing their best self at first and withholding their dark side. And everyone has a dark side. So who's to say I'm being more dishonest than they are because I don't start by blurting out all of my shortcomings, real or IMAGINED?

I've been in therapy on and off for six decades. I've currently been in therapy for three years. I've tried 25 anti-depressants and transcranial magnetic stimulation. I was going to yoga classes and meditation groups until covid, now I'm trying mostly without success to do those things on zoom or by myself. But I recently discovered a meditation app I'm trying to do daily. Everything I try is overwhelmed by the thought, Why do this, it won't work anyway, if anything would have worked it would have worked by now, etc.

I've been in therapy on and off for six decades. I've currently been in therapy for three years. I've tried 25 anti-depressants and transcranial magnetic stimulation. I was going to yoga classes and meditation groups until covid, now I'm trying mostly without success to do those things on zoom or by myself. But I recently discovered a meditation app I'm trying to do daily. Everything I try is overwhelmed by the thought, Why do this, it won't work anyway, if anything would have worked it would have worked by now, etc.