Major Health Anxiety: GI issues

I also have PTSD due to being molested as a child, raped at age 19 by a family member, and a trailer fire in 2012. I'm seeing a therapist, talking to her has helped.
What makes it worse for me is that my family claims this is all a put-on for attention, and they don't want to face the truth of what happened to me when they were there through all of it. I only see and talk to 1 family member because they are taking care of my mom who is deaf.
I hope you have someone you trust to talk to, talking about it does help as long it's with someone you trust.

Sad to know about what you went through as a child then as an adolescent that was harsh ..
Experienced child molesting as a child by a family member I could tell a soul about it was afraid to mention it I was warned that no one would believe me & nobody would take my words seriously. that effected me for the rest of my life till today ..my relationships with men was badly effected..I was traumatized but the people didn't see the ..

The anxiety can be debilitating. I found out in 4/19 that I had an obstructing tumor in my sigmoid colon. Prior to that I was an extremely fit and healthy 52 year old who ran 5 miles per day and did barre class daily. We started our family late so I have two young kids (10 and 12 at time of diagnosis). I am a stay at home
Parent and super involved. My surgery was anticipated to be mainly exploratory while also removing the obstruction. I met with the first surgeon and he wanted to remove my entire colon (I’ve had ulcerative colitis for over 25 years). I got a second opinion and then a third. Finally was accepted at MD Anderson and had my surgery which Was a 6 hour ordeal. The tumor had made my colon attach to my right ovary and tube and appendix and cecum. All removed and two resections done. I was supposed to be in for a week, but shortly after surgery developed complications (blood transfusion reaction, anastomatic leak requiring second surgery) abscesses and a blood clot. I finally went home (one year ago yesterday) and assumed I was on my wait to healing. I started chemo and barely finished two rounds. It wrecked my digestive system and then I developed a bowel obstruction due to adhesions. After a week of an NG tube and lots of testing, I needed a third surgery to get rid of adhesions. I developed multiple abscesses and was in the hospital for another three weeks. The obstruction happened while my husband was out of town and I was transported by ambulance during the day while my kids were at school. My kids were alone until my husband flew home that evening late. That put me over the top. The obstruction came in suddenly with no warning. And every worst case scenario happened to me. I developed horrible PTSD and literally sat in the hospital and cried. I didn’t want my kids to see me and thought I would never get back to normal. But I did somewhat. I did develop a fistula which they wouldn’t operate on because it had only been a month since obstruction surgery. I was in the road to recovery and then on November 6, I woke up in the middle of the night with horrific stomach pain. I was transported again and they discovered my bowel had perforated so I was whisked into surgery. I was starting to recover but then about 6 days in, my drainage tubes stopped producing. It was over a weekend so not much contact from doctor. Long story short, I turned septic and things went from bad to worse. I had to be intubated and placed on a ventilator. My body was failing and my husband brought the kids up to see me as requested by the doctors. By the Grace of God, I pulled through and after five long weeks I was released. I wasn’t allowed to eat anything by mouth for two months. I survived that and learned to walk and am now doing some running and walking five miles a day. BUT, a few months ago I started having constipation issues and also a bulge in my belly button. That turned out to be a hernia. I was scheduled for a colonoscopy on April 1 but it cancelled due to covid. I’m having one this Friday finally but have been having bright red blood and really can’t get anything out poop wise. I’m scared to death it’s another tumor. I told my husband I just don’t know if I have the mental strength to do it a fifth time. It’s so incredibly hard. The mental anxiety can get you down. I started taking my Xanax again and pray a lot. Prayer got me through my darkest moments.
Feel free to message me if I can be of support. I tell you my story only to show what is possible. I wouldn’t consider myself a strong person and definitely not a warrior

@lisag03 I wish this wasn't yours or anyone' story. My heart and my prayers go out to you, your husband and your children. I sit here in tears praying for relief from pain and depression. I read your story and I now cry and pray for you. I am so sorry that you are going through this. You are strong Momma. Stronger than you ever thought you could be. You are an inspiration to me and I am sure many others. Please allow us in so we can offer support where we can and prayers always. God bless you and your family.

Sorry about all the anxiety and gi problems. Ive dealt with anxiety forever, have ptsd as well. Have you tried Atavan? Its last longer than xanax. Its been a life changer for me. I also have gi issues and have had a colectomy on my mind for a year. Ive been worried sick about it, and having a very hard time dealing. Im 34 , I have different opinions flying everywhere and just want to start my life again. Like you, ive had a hard time with pinning problems down, my issues are functional, but severely debilitating. If you ever want to chat, let me know. Good luck with your colonoscopy.