Major Health Anxiety: GI issues

Posted by sarah60 @sarah60, May 25 11:54am

Hi – sorry for the long post! I’m a 58 yo female who up to the beginning of this year was athletic, fit, felt great and as far as I knew, healthy.

I had a 5 hour surgery late last year and one week after, I started to have upper GI issues which migrated to lower GI (I’ve been diagnosed with IBS yrs ago) and by the time January 2020 rolled around I really felt something didn’t quite feel right. By then, I was getting lower pelvic/back pain. I was also getting bright red blood occasionally after BMs. I have had this for years for hemmroids but this time I got scared. Fast forward to March, and I called a GI dr requesting a colonoscopy but covid19 prevented that, so I called again complaining of pain and they did a CT scan of pelvic/abdomen looking for a rectal access. The CT scan results came back with clear colon, stomach, lymph glands,small intestines, female organs and NO rectal access. etc but found. Liver lesion – noted as hemangioma but needs evaluation and a pancreatic cyst. This started into fast descent into major health anxiety and absolute depression. Also, in addition to the pelvic and lower back on the left side I developed groin pain on the left side in the last 3 wks. I did see a colorectal surgeon right after the ct scan and He diagnosed me with a fissure.

Since the ct scan, I have turned over the care of the pancreatic cyst to a specialist at Stanford hospital I’m scheduled for a follow up mri is sept. This Dr reviewed my images and said this cyst is precancerous.

In order to address the continuous pelvic/lower back now groin pain I called another GI dr and begged for a colonoscopy which is scheduled for this Friday.

I’m absolutely terrified at this point. There is colon cancer on my maternal line. I’m not sure I’m mentally equipped to handle cancer from my colon, especially after being told I have a precancerous cyst and I have a hemangioma that requires further evaluation. In mind, I’m dying by the minute. I can’t eat and I have stopped working out. I sit in my room all day and ruminate over my health issues. I’m currently seeing a psychotherapist 2x a week, started meditation and breathing exercises. I take .25 Xanax in the afternoon and another at night.

Anyone else dealing with / dealt with major health anxiety issues?

@david33

I also have PTSD due to being molested as a child, raped at age 19 by a family member, and a trailer fire in 2012. I'm seeing a therapist, talking to her has helped.
What makes it worse for me is that my family claims this is all a put-on for attention, and they don't want to face the truth of what happened to me when they were there through all of it. I only see and talk to 1 family member because they are taking care of my mom who is deaf.
I hope you have someone you trust to talk to, talking about it does help as long it's with someone you trust.

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Sad to know about what you went through as a child then as an adolescent that was harsh ..
Experienced child molesting as a child by a family member I could tell a soul about it was afraid to mention it I was warned that no one would believe me & nobody would take my words seriously. that effected me for the rest of my life till today ..my relationships with men was badly effected..I was traumatized but the people didn't see the ..

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@nawras

Sad to know about what you went through as a child then as an adolescent that was harsh ..
Experienced child molesting as a child by a family member I could tell a soul about it was afraid to mention it I was warned that no one would believe me & nobody would take my words seriously. that effected me for the rest of my life till today ..my relationships with men was badly effected..I was traumatized but the people didn't see the ..

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@nawras I was molested by my brother-in-law and my sister found out. They have been divorced for years. I wrote a long passage earlier. He is the one that will pay for it. I feel so bad, because you did not have support. He also molested my older sister and in those days she had to be at the divorce proceedings to testify. It must have been hard for you and still seems to be hard for you. Have you gone to counseling. I lived on counseling for years. A lot of stuff has gone on in my family, but at least I had support. I wish you to be able to live a normal life and put it all behind you. That's what I did, except for the death of my 11 day husband and our friend. They are in my heart and it's been 50 years. Can hardly believe it, I can see them as clear as day. I was only 18. I hope things are better for you. Blessings

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@lisag03

The anxiety can be debilitating. I found out in 4/19 that I had an obstructing tumor in my sigmoid colon. Prior to that I was an extremely fit and healthy 52 year old who ran 5 miles per day and did barre class daily. We started our family late so I have two young kids (10 and 12 at time of diagnosis). I am a stay at home
Parent and super involved. My surgery was anticipated to be mainly exploratory while also removing the obstruction. I met with the first surgeon and he wanted to remove my entire colon (I’ve had ulcerative colitis for over 25 years). I got a second opinion and then a third. Finally was accepted at MD Anderson and had my surgery which Was a 6 hour ordeal. The tumor had made my colon attach to my right ovary and tube and appendix and cecum. All removed and two resections done. I was supposed to be in for a week, but shortly after surgery developed complications (blood transfusion reaction, anastomatic leak requiring second surgery) abscesses and a blood clot. I finally went home (one year ago yesterday) and assumed I was on my wait to healing. I started chemo and barely finished two rounds. It wrecked my digestive system and then I developed a bowel obstruction due to adhesions. After a week of an NG tube and lots of testing, I needed a third surgery to get rid of adhesions. I developed multiple abscesses and was in the hospital for another three weeks. The obstruction happened while my husband was out of town and I was transported by ambulance during the day while my kids were at school. My kids were alone until my husband flew home that evening late. That put me over the top. The obstruction came in suddenly with no warning. And every worst case scenario happened to me. I developed horrible PTSD and literally sat in the hospital and cried. I didn’t want my kids to see me and thought I would never get back to normal. But I did somewhat. I did develop a fistula which they wouldn’t operate on because it had only been a month since obstruction surgery. I was in the road to recovery and then on November 6, I woke up in the middle of the night with horrific stomach pain. I was transported again and they discovered my bowel had perforated so I was whisked into surgery. I was starting to recover but then about 6 days in, my drainage tubes stopped producing. It was over a weekend so not much contact from doctor. Long story short, I turned septic and things went from bad to worse. I had to be intubated and placed on a ventilator. My body was failing and my husband brought the kids up to see me as requested by the doctors. By the Grace of God, I pulled through and after five long weeks I was released. I wasn’t allowed to eat anything by mouth for two months. I survived that and learned to walk and am now doing some running and walking five miles a day. BUT, a few months ago I started having constipation issues and also a bulge in my belly button. That turned out to be a hernia. I was scheduled for a colonoscopy on April 1 but it cancelled due to covid. I’m having one this Friday finally but have been having bright red blood and really can’t get anything out poop wise. I’m scared to death it’s another tumor. I told my husband I just don’t know if I have the mental strength to do it a fifth time. It’s so incredibly hard. The mental anxiety can get you down. I started taking my Xanax again and pray a lot. Prayer got me through my darkest moments.
Feel free to message me if I can be of support. I tell you my story only to show what is possible. I wouldn’t consider myself a strong person and definitely not a warrior

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@lisag03 I wish this wasn't yours or anyone' story. My heart and my prayers go out to you, your husband and your children. I sit here in tears praying for relief from pain and depression. I read your story and I now cry and pray for you. I am so sorry that you are going through this. You are strong Momma. Stronger than you ever thought you could be. You are an inspiration to me and I am sure many others. Please allow us in so we can offer support where we can and prayers always. God bless you and your family.

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@summertime4

@lisag03 I wish this wasn't yours or anyone' story. My heart and my prayers go out to you, your husband and your children. I sit here in tears praying for relief from pain and depression. I read your story and I now cry and pray for you. I am so sorry that you are going through this. You are strong Momma. Stronger than you ever thought you could be. You are an inspiration to me and I am sure many others. Please allow us in so we can offer support where we can and prayers always. God bless you and your family.

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You are so kind. Thank you so much! I’m hoping I’m on the uphill swing right now and that we keep going that way

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