Downsizing, To Move or Not to Move? That is the Question

Posted by Rosemary, Volunteer Mentor @rosemarya, Apr 12, 2020

At some point as we age, we will have to make a decision about leaving our homes and downsizing. Maybe in our own town or to another town. Maybe to smaller home, condo, apartment, or assisted living/senior community.

When the time comes to downsize, seniors can struggle with a multitude of emotional, physical, and financial challenges.

How do you make an informed decision about when to downsize?
What tips do you have to share?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Aging Well Support Group.

@fiesty76

@gingerw, I was really moved thinking how difficult it must have been to move away from everyone you knew a couple of years ago. Being an introvert in a new community must have presented challenges and a great deal of courage in getting acquainted with new people.

Having lived in my home and community for 46 years, moving away from friends, neighbors and professional service providers would have been my single biggest challenge to overcome. However, as service providers have retired and my people circle has grown smaller due to illnesses, deaths and relocations, I'm thinking more about what new adventures "lie ahead" rather what I'd be leaving behind.

A salute to you for making the efforts required to meet new people by signing up to volunteer!

After the move in 2018, did you find the move last July easier in some ways? Certainly, you would have disposed of duplicates, etc as you married but I'm wondering about the emotional challenge of another relocation?

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@fiesty76 When I moved in 2018, my husband was established in a community he had been a part of for over 30 years. I met and liked three of the neighbors in the condo complex where he had been for 8 years. I figured out the main places I had to go, then wrote out directions on index cards for each place. We had panned my move for half a year, so it wasn't too rough.

For the move last year, we had not expected to find a retirement property so quickly. We planned to rent it out for a year, and move here together when he retired. It was a 30 day escrow, and 15 days in, we found out the terms of the loan were we could not rent it out. We had to get an amendment to allow the sellers to stay 3 weeks extra while they closed on their new buy. Since he was still working, it fell to me to move up here, alone. By necessity I had to get to know they guy across the empty lot from us. I had to put myself out of my comfort zone to find out things, since I had to have someone to turn to if I needed help. Just before the move was a health crisis, so that had to be dealt with, also. I congratulate myself, now, for not falling off the deep end completely.

The emotional challenge of uprooting and moving twice, July 2018 and July 2019, took its toll on me. I recently started dealing with the frustration, anger, anxiety and depression that ensued, and am doing a lot better now.
Ginger

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@fiesty76

@gingerw, I was really moved thinking how difficult it must have been to move away from everyone you knew a couple of years ago. Being an introvert in a new community must have presented challenges and a great deal of courage in getting acquainted with new people.

Having lived in my home and community for 46 years, moving away from friends, neighbors and professional service providers would have been my single biggest challenge to overcome. However, as service providers have retired and my people circle has grown smaller due to illnesses, deaths and relocations, I'm thinking more about what new adventures "lie ahead" rather what I'd be leaving behind.

A salute to you for making the efforts required to meet new people by signing up to volunteer!

After the move in 2018, did you find the move last July easier in some ways? Certainly, you would have disposed of duplicates, etc as you married but I'm wondering about the emotional challenge of another relocation?

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You hit the nail on the head, if you think about the future and the exciting opportunities ahead of you instead of regretting and are angry about moving then you will have problems.

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@emd52

Thanks Rosemary for bringing up this important topic. I've lived in my home for over 50 years and the maintenance is getting harder. I have no family to help so am relying on "professional movers" to help me through this process. Any ideas of professionals in the St. Paul area who could help? Also, is it wise to move during the Pandemic?
Thanks for any suggestions

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How soon are you looking at moving? You said you lived in st paul where would you be moving to? Last weekend I bought some popcorn from some kids in boy scouts/ cub scouts you might be able to get some kids to volunteer to help you box things up for a badge that they can earn.

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I have no specific date in mind for moving. Thanks for your suggestion about boy scouts/cub scouts going helping.

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In response to davej's question about where I plan to move, I hope to go to a place where there are a variety of services if I were to need help in the future

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@gingerw

@fiesty76 When I moved in 2018, my husband was established in a community he had been a part of for over 30 years. I met and liked three of the neighbors in the condo complex where he had been for 8 years. I figured out the main places I had to go, then wrote out directions on index cards for each place. We had panned my move for half a year, so it wasn't too rough.

For the move last year, we had not expected to find a retirement property so quickly. We planned to rent it out for a year, and move here together when he retired. It was a 30 day escrow, and 15 days in, we found out the terms of the loan were we could not rent it out. We had to get an amendment to allow the sellers to stay 3 weeks extra while they closed on their new buy. Since he was still working, it fell to me to move up here, alone. By necessity I had to get to know they guy across the empty lot from us. I had to put myself out of my comfort zone to find out things, since I had to have someone to turn to if I needed help. Just before the move was a health crisis, so that had to be dealt with, also. I congratulate myself, now, for not falling off the deep end completely.

The emotional challenge of uprooting and moving twice, July 2018 and July 2019, took its toll on me. I recently started dealing with the frustration, anger, anxiety and depression that ensued, and am doing a lot better now.
Ginger

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@gingerw, Thank you for sharing more about your two close together moves. Great idea to use index cards to write directions to main places when you first arrived! Being geographically challenged to begin with, this idea is a keeper!! And I would think having that 6 mo planning and lead time proved quite an advantage over the surprises of your 2nd move.

Add my salute for managing both moves in a short time plus a health crisis thrown in for good measure and you deserve Kudos Deluxe! Just one of those endeavors could have thrown a more fragile human into the doldrums. Think you could easily lead our "Resilency Parade" for coming through so well! Big life changes do take a toll on us so I'm very glad you are feeling better now that you've had a little time to process all the emotions that anyone would experience.

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@sueinmn

Ginger, As a total extrovert, I have a hard time imagining such a move, and meeting new people & hearing new stories is energizing to me. I admire you for managing this not once, but twice as an introvert.
I was amazed in my Psych 101 class to learn of these concepts - I always thought there was something "wrong" with my shy & introverted cousins. We finally concluded that I got all of the extrovert genes, and they got all the introvert ones, if there is such a thing. When we started kindergarten, one of my cousins had to be moved to the same class as me because she wouldn't speak to anyone else in the school - even the teacher!
Sue

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@sueinmn, Your post has me laughing! People say I'm one of those who has never met a stranger as well. Love it that an introverted cousin was moved to your kindergarten class so that you could speak up for him/her. We never know when a strong trait will come in handy for another. Thanks for the smile this morning!

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I, too, think of downsizing and moving. Has anyone ever hired someone to help with all the cleaning out and organizing? I used to be “the queen” of organizing for moves, but not anymore. I organized our move to Germany with two little kids and our household goods going in 3 separate shipments at different times! But, I was young! I’ve thought about getting help. Has anyone done this?

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@becsbuddy

I, too, think of downsizing and moving. Has anyone ever hired someone to help with all the cleaning out and organizing? I used to be “the queen” of organizing for moves, but not anymore. I organized our move to Germany with two little kids and our household goods going in 3 separate shipments at different times! But, I was young! I’ve thought about getting help. Has anyone done this?

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@becsbuddy When we relocated up here, we did it in stages. I severely downsized my clothes and books. But did not downsize my craft supplies. Guess that tells where my priorities are. I felt the need to review and organize myself, to make decisions. My husband had a couple buddies come over, and they went through his huge collection of tools and gadgets. He got a lot rehomed, but still brought up more than he figured on.

Do you have a timeline, as that makes a difference, too.
Ginger

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@becsbuddy

I, too, think of downsizing and moving. Has anyone ever hired someone to help with all the cleaning out and organizing? I used to be “the queen” of organizing for moves, but not anymore. I organized our move to Germany with two little kids and our household goods going in 3 separate shipments at different times! But, I was young! I’ve thought about getting help. Has anyone done this?

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This is an interesting conversation, from many different perspectives. I'm single, for 25+ years. My firance died in an auto accident several years ago, so my life and goals have changed. I've lived in my 2-story condo for 30 years. Didn't plan to stay here, but my mother lived on this property, so I bought one on another street. Now, Mom is gone, my fiance is gone and my disabled son moved to a condo across the street. Bob and I were beginning some renovation of my condo before he died. I've been working on the reno, not getting much accomplished since I've been in and out of the hospital, recouperating, up and down on the medical roller-coaster. I've been on that roller-coaster for many years. It gets in my way!!! Well, now that I am doing better.....currently....I have new window installation scheduled, have plans completed for the kitchen and all baths, have moved to storage most of my furniture I plan to keep, got it out of the way until the work is finished. I've cleared out all my closets, have clothes hanging on all the upstairs doors to take to the recycle store to sell, and boxes of clothes to donate. Yes, it's taken me several years to do this! Years! But, by myself, in between serious health issues. Now, I've hired my housekeeper to come one day a week for a few hours and help me go through everything I have, all collections/dishes/pottery/whatever, pack up to sell at the antique shop & help me transport clothes to sell. So, I have the keep, sell, donate and toss 'piles'. My son and I are discussing what he wants to keep. I guess the hardest part was getting past the time I looked at the antiques Mom and I collected or I inherited or whatever, collections, et al and seeing the memories with each item. How can I let it go? Well, it's made of wood. Or glass. Or metal of some kind. The memories are in my heart and mind. The wood and glass and all need to be polished, used and enjoyed. I'm giving my piano to my church, donating a collection of dolphins, (mascots), to my alma mater, etc. It actually feels good. Freeing. Lighter. I'm renting a POD to put in the parking area, fill with the furniture and stuff I'm keeping and living with now, clearing out for the workers to have a clean canvas. Samantha (kitty) and will I stay in a long-stay hotel near-by for a couple weeks until the condo is completed. Then, I move back in with only the furniture, dishes, only the things I want to keep. I'll live and enjoy my 'new' home until I can no longer handle the stairs. I will get a 'stair chair' when I need it. Then, move to a retirement community I've chosen. (putting my name on the wait list). Got a plan. Have had a plan for years!! But, may actually implement this plan soon. Then, I can enjoy my life as long as I can. Pray for me, folks. Wish me well....lots of work, but at least now I have someone who will help me w/packing/moving things, my health is better, I'm stronger and can move forward....until I can't again. Thus, I am determine to finish, to enjoy my home the way I want it and then move when I must. I'll be ready then.

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