Downsizing, To Move or Not to Move? That is the Question

Posted by Rosemary, Volunteer Mentor @rosemarya, Apr 12, 2020

At some point as we age, we will have to make a decision about leaving our homes and downsizing. Maybe in our own town or to another town. Maybe to smaller home, condo, apartment, or assisted living/senior community.

When the time comes to downsize, seniors can struggle with a multitude of emotional, physical, and financial challenges.

How do you make an informed decision about when to downsize?
What tips do you have to share?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Aging Well Support Group.

We are in the process now. After accepting the emotional challenge, I know we can do it. We have property to dispose of-where we have lived for 45+ years. Built the house ourselves-lots of great memories here. As an elder friend once told me, "We are caretakers for a short time, then it is our job to find the next caretaker". My husband said, to stay here is no longer practical. So we are building a much smaller home near our daughter and preferred medical care. I have begun the downsizing part, getting rid of books, sorting clothing, getting rid of kitchen appliances, large sized pots and pans etc that I use to use when all of the family was here for special occasions and holidays. That duty was handed down to our daughter last Christmas. I'm letting our daughter and my sister select anything they want, then grandchildren. If you have good housekeeping items to dispose of, the Woman's Crisis Center is a great option for donating. In our area, they keep a small warehouse where they put donated items. The women can select things for their new home. I've taken loads there, knowing that the items will help someone move toward a better life has made it much easier for me to let go of items. I had tons of quilt material and other craft stuff I'll never use-I found family and friends that are enjoying their new treasure trove of supplies. My goal has been to set out at least one bag of trash and take one trunk load of items for donating each week. It doesn't seem so overwhelming and week by week, it adds up. Don't be afraid to ask for help, our family and friends have been wonderful. It's a process. Wishing you well in your move.

REPLY
@ann59

We are in the process now. After accepting the emotional challenge, I know we can do it. We have property to dispose of-where we have lived for 45+ years. Built the house ourselves-lots of great memories here. As an elder friend once told me, "We are caretakers for a short time, then it is our job to find the next caretaker". My husband said, to stay here is no longer practical. So we are building a much smaller home near our daughter and preferred medical care. I have begun the downsizing part, getting rid of books, sorting clothing, getting rid of kitchen appliances, large sized pots and pans etc that I use to use when all of the family was here for special occasions and holidays. That duty was handed down to our daughter last Christmas. I'm letting our daughter and my sister select anything they want, then grandchildren. If you have good housekeeping items to dispose of, the Woman's Crisis Center is a great option for donating. In our area, they keep a small warehouse where they put donated items. The women can select things for their new home. I've taken loads there, knowing that the items will help someone move toward a better life has made it much easier for me to let go of items. I had tons of quilt material and other craft stuff I'll never use-I found family and friends that are enjoying their new treasure trove of supplies. My goal has been to set out at least one bag of trash and take one trunk load of items for donating each week. It doesn't seem so overwhelming and week by week, it adds up. Don't be afraid to ask for help, our family and friends have been wonderful. It's a process. Wishing you well in your move.

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@ess77 and @ann59 It always helps to have a plan in mind. Of course, there are lots of factors that can change things, but at least starting with a specific point sure is a big help! Like you have mentioned, at the beginning it seems so overwhelming, but taking little bites you eventually get the whole elephant eaten. Having a place to donate good usable household items is so important these days, and there are many who can use them. I never feel bad about moving and rehoming things that others can use! Likewise I have no problem gifting off fabric for those who want to make masks, and rehome yarn for people who need something to keep their hands busy. Heaven only knows I have more than I'll ever need LOL
Ginger

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@gingerw

@ess77 and @ann59 It always helps to have a plan in mind. Of course, there are lots of factors that can change things, but at least starting with a specific point sure is a big help! Like you have mentioned, at the beginning it seems so overwhelming, but taking little bites you eventually get the whole elephant eaten. Having a place to donate good usable household items is so important these days, and there are many who can use them. I never feel bad about moving and rehoming things that others can use! Likewise I have no problem gifting off fabric for those who want to make masks, and rehome yarn for people who need something to keep their hands busy. Heaven only knows I have more than I'll ever need LOL
Ginger

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Plans are always good, way to go, many of you are making super progress. Some of you are planning a move or have moved and some are downsizing. I have departed with many items, some I have donated to the homeless shelters. I find that satisfying since they don’t have the resources to purchase the items they need. I helped support these special people for years through my work. My daughter now works as a social worker in three schools and has found it rewarding to help homeless children find shelter.
My walking continues, I wait until the temp is as warm as it’s going to get, generally around 1 pm. Fortunately, December has been good to us, it has only dipped into the 20’s a few times but mostly 30’s and even some 40’s. The fresh air renews some positivity (mental health exercise) and at the same time physical movement away from the same rooms I roam every day at home. I even saw a ‘confused’ robin the other day. What fun! Since then, no sighting.
Enjoy your evening, and keep on truckin!

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For now my plan is downsizing in place. Determined not to leave a huge job for the kids! Our home is small and well-located, so would like to stay as long as we can. I have been to the transitional housing donation site with 3 carsful, called in the kids, given away all kinds of stuff on freecycle site, and made a nice dent. As soon as Covid is under control, I have a trunkful of family treasures to offer to siblings, nieces and nephews and cousins at a family gathering.

Also replacing appliances, light fixtures, carpet and other flooring as we go...only major ones left to do are refrigerator and dishwasher.

Next up, going through 49 years worth of accumulated fabric & sewing supplies to winnow down to what I will actually use - especially the "girlie" stuff since there are only 2 litlle girls in the whole extended family, and each already has 2 grandmas who sew. And getting serious about the garage come spring - now that I finished all 3 sheds.

It is nice to see space on shelves and in closets, though. Maybe tomorrow I'll hit the bookshelves and put some books into the local "little libraries."

Sue

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@becsbuddy

I, too, think of downsizing and moving. Has anyone ever hired someone to help with all the cleaning out and organizing? I used to be “the queen” of organizing for moves, but not anymore. I organized our move to Germany with two little kids and our household goods going in 3 separate shipments at different times! But, I was young! I’ve thought about getting help. Has anyone done this?

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Hi @becsbuddy,

Yes, hiring someone to help you sort and organize is a great way to deal with all of the stuff so that you can down-size. As I have lived in apartments since my divorce many years ago, I haven't accumulated as much stuff as if I had a house, basement, garage, etc. but still, my closets get pretty full at times. When I no longer have room to hang my coats, then I begin the sorting process.

I try to give as much as I can to shelters or organizations that help women who have escaped abusive situations. That makes parting with my stuff much easier because I know it will give a woman and perhaps her kids a new start in life.

As a younger person, I too had more energy (as well as focus) to accomplish a project of this type, but not so much anymore. Give yourself as much support as you need to make this transition!

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@sueinmn

For now my plan is downsizing in place. Determined not to leave a huge job for the kids! Our home is small and well-located, so would like to stay as long as we can. I have been to the transitional housing donation site with 3 carsful, called in the kids, given away all kinds of stuff on freecycle site, and made a nice dent. As soon as Covid is under control, I have a trunkful of family treasures to offer to siblings, nieces and nephews and cousins at a family gathering.

Also replacing appliances, light fixtures, carpet and other flooring as we go...only major ones left to do are refrigerator and dishwasher.

Next up, going through 49 years worth of accumulated fabric & sewing supplies to winnow down to what I will actually use - especially the "girlie" stuff since there are only 2 litlle girls in the whole extended family, and each already has 2 grandmas who sew. And getting serious about the garage come spring - now that I finished all 3 sheds.

It is nice to see space on shelves and in closets, though. Maybe tomorrow I'll hit the bookshelves and put some books into the local "little libraries."

Sue

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@sueinmn- I'm with you. I am downsizing in place. I donate everything. I wish that my son were close by to look at stuff but he's across the country and it isn't feasible to even ship some of the stuff. I don't think that we could live in a better place. We are minutes from a river that we can swim in and a bit more to the beach that it empties into. We are 10 minutes from the University of RI where I graduated and so did my husband. we have a little piece of heaven as our back yard is all woods with climbing and trails. It can't be built on.
Our house is small but cozy.
I'm trying to downsize my mind too, but I imagine that will come after vaccines are available?

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@sueinmn

For now my plan is downsizing in place. Determined not to leave a huge job for the kids! Our home is small and well-located, so would like to stay as long as we can. I have been to the transitional housing donation site with 3 carsful, called in the kids, given away all kinds of stuff on freecycle site, and made a nice dent. As soon as Covid is under control, I have a trunkful of family treasures to offer to siblings, nieces and nephews and cousins at a family gathering.

Also replacing appliances, light fixtures, carpet and other flooring as we go...only major ones left to do are refrigerator and dishwasher.

Next up, going through 49 years worth of accumulated fabric & sewing supplies to winnow down to what I will actually use - especially the "girlie" stuff since there are only 2 litlle girls in the whole extended family, and each already has 2 grandmas who sew. And getting serious about the garage come spring - now that I finished all 3 sheds.

It is nice to see space on shelves and in closets, though. Maybe tomorrow I'll hit the bookshelves and put some books into the local "little libraries."

Sue

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Wow, you are certainly doing an upgrade as well as a clean out. I really like the idea of donating to the little libraries. Thanks

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@jude07

Wow, you are certainly doing an upgrade as well as a clean out. I really like the idea of donating to the little libraries. Thanks

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And this morning the need to "upgrade" became more apparent - the 20+ yo refrigerator froze the pet's greens for the 3rd time this week - in spite of being on the warmest setting. Checking to see if a new thermostatic controller is even available any more. That was NOT in my current plan, but either way, repair or replace, I'll have a sparkling clean and organized refrigerator.
Sue

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@sueinmn

And this morning the need to "upgrade" became more apparent - the 20+ yo refrigerator froze the pet's greens for the 3rd time this week - in spite of being on the warmest setting. Checking to see if a new thermostatic controller is even available any more. That was NOT in my current plan, but either way, repair or replace, I'll have a sparkling clean and organized refrigerator.
Sue

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Ours is just holding on by a thread

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@ann59

We are in the process now. After accepting the emotional challenge, I know we can do it. We have property to dispose of-where we have lived for 45+ years. Built the house ourselves-lots of great memories here. As an elder friend once told me, "We are caretakers for a short time, then it is our job to find the next caretaker". My husband said, to stay here is no longer practical. So we are building a much smaller home near our daughter and preferred medical care. I have begun the downsizing part, getting rid of books, sorting clothing, getting rid of kitchen appliances, large sized pots and pans etc that I use to use when all of the family was here for special occasions and holidays. That duty was handed down to our daughter last Christmas. I'm letting our daughter and my sister select anything they want, then grandchildren. If you have good housekeeping items to dispose of, the Woman's Crisis Center is a great option for donating. In our area, they keep a small warehouse where they put donated items. The women can select things for their new home. I've taken loads there, knowing that the items will help someone move toward a better life has made it much easier for me to let go of items. I had tons of quilt material and other craft stuff I'll never use-I found family and friends that are enjoying their new treasure trove of supplies. My goal has been to set out at least one bag of trash and take one trunk load of items for donating each week. It doesn't seem so overwhelming and week by week, it adds up. Don't be afraid to ask for help, our family and friends have been wonderful. It's a process. Wishing you well in your move.

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Youve got a really good plan, ann59. I think you're so right, the first thing in any downsizing is your head!~ Get your mind and emotions to the place you can see the value of letting go. Get much of the emotions out of the items themselves. That was truly the toughest part for me, since so much was wrapped up with my mother, whom I was with during her very long alzheimier's journey. We did so much together with no other family around, so my memories were all tangled up with hers. I've worked through years of this and now can actually enjoy the giving, seeing others use and enjoy what I've basically been storing for so long. My son hasn't married and has no children, my siblings and their children are not in the picture, since Mom's illness - as often happens in families w/altzheimers. I donate to our Women's Crisis Center! Love to give them clothes, anything...and there's another I like that has a big store to sell and make $ for the charity. I prefer local charities, actually. And so the journey's next leg begins.....Blessings in yours.

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