Downsizing, To Move or Not to Move? That is the Question

Posted by Rosemary, Volunteer Mentor @rosemarya, Apr 12, 2020

At some point as we age, we will have to make a decision about leaving our homes and downsizing. Maybe in our own town or to another town. Maybe to smaller home, condo, apartment, or assisted living/senior community.

When the time comes to downsize, seniors can struggle with a multitude of emotional, physical, and financial challenges.

How do you make an informed decision about when to downsize?
What tips do you have to share?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Aging Well Support Group.

@gingerw

@davej He rehomed many things before we moved. In his defense, many of the things he is reluctant to part with, right now, is because he doesn't know if he will have a need for them up here. A lot of mechanic stuff. Tools. What-have-you. We are in a fairly rural area now, and his line of thinking is that it is better to have it than drive 50 miles to go get it. But, do you need 3 sets of most tools? Both Standard and metric?
Ginger

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@gingerw I know how he feels that was tought on me in my last move. So i did keep 1 set of metric and english but when you say 3 sets were they different drive sizes? Or maybe different point types. I always wanted to have all 3 drive sizes 1/4, 3/8 and 1/2 plus both 6 point and multi-point. I then took any extra and gave them to my Son so if ever in the future i could always borrow them back.Lol
Dana

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@danab

@gingerw I know how he feels that was tought on me in my last move. So i did keep 1 set of metric and english but when you say 3 sets were they different drive sizes? Or maybe different point types. I always wanted to have all 3 drive sizes 1/4, 3/8 and 1/2 plus both 6 point and multi-point. I then took any extra and gave them to my Son so if ever in the future i could always borrow them back.Lol
Dana

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@danab He has all 3 drive sizes, and at least two sets of metric and standard. With the oversized two car garage, it is marvelously planned out with tool boxes and storage cabinets all marked out so he can find things. There is barely enough room for my small SUV, but his Toyota truck and two motorcycles are there. The smaller one will go out to the rebuilt woodshed and we will figure to put my Spyder in the garage. And he still has a large tool cabinet to come north when he finally retires/quits the contract work from his job of 40 years! To say he is prepared to make almost anything is very true, as is be able to work on all the vehicles.
Ginger

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@ann59

This is an appropriate topic for my husband and me. We live on a 400 acre farm in a rather large two story house. Funny, when we built the house 50 years ago, we made sure to have doors for a wheelchair to pass, arranged things so that we could live on one floor etc. Now with MCI in the picture, it seems those ideas are not enough. Currently he leases the farm out; its a good arrangement, but he still does a lot of the labor-mending barns, seeding, management etc. Our children are not interested in continuing the operation-and I wouldn't encourage them to do so. Farming is not a good livelihood at present. Obviously a change is in our future. It's another layer on top of everything else. We are making plans to change. We have been downsizing-cleaning out buildings and household items that we no longer need. I only hope that he can execute when the time comes. My other concern is will he be able to adjust to a new living environment? Lots to think about and attend to. I would be interested in how others have addressed this situation and how the adjustment was.

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@anne59 and jude07 In 1986 my folks put their house of almost 30 years on the market. Well, it sold to the real estate appraiser who came to assess it, so it really did not hit the market. I don't think there was a lot of concrete plans of where they were moving. They went north and leased a condo for a year, then bought a new build house that shared a common wall. They were there maybe 4 years, and moved again, this time to Reno, NV, to a single level house. By this time my mother was into her Alzheimers and dementia, and passed in 1996. Each time they moved they down-sized. What was hardest for them both was leaving their roots in 1986, and all the friends/acquaintances they had. My mother isolated in her disease, and my father was her caretaker.He was isolated by circumstances of caretaking, as she refused any outsiders in to the house. My dad continued to move around for another 16 years after her death, ending in a one bedroom apartment as part of a senior community.

For me, I moved from everyone I knew in 2018, to join my husband in his city. New city, new people, new stores, new medical, you name it. It was overwhelming. I became involved in a couple of volunteer activities, that interested me, and learned to meet people that way. As an introvert, it was not easy. And a year later, in July last year, I did it again, moving 800 miles away, to our retirement property. Once more it was imperative to get to know a few people in this small town, as I was "holding down the fort" while he continued to work. It is not impossible, it takes work, and you find out how mentally strong you are. Key for me has been careful planning as much as you can.
Ginger

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@gingerw, I was really moved thinking how difficult it must have been to move away from everyone you knew a couple of years ago. Being an introvert in a new community must have presented challenges and a great deal of courage in getting acquainted with new people.

Having lived in my home and community for 46 years, moving away from friends, neighbors and professional service providers would have been my single biggest challenge to overcome. However, as service providers have retired and my people circle has grown smaller due to illnesses, deaths and relocations, I'm thinking more about what new adventures "lie ahead" rather what I'd be leaving behind.

A salute to you for making the efforts required to meet new people by signing up to volunteer!

After the move in 2018, did you find the move last July easier in some ways? Certainly, you would have disposed of duplicates, etc as you married but I'm wondering about the emotional challenge of another relocation?

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@gingerw

@anne59 and jude07 In 1986 my folks put their house of almost 30 years on the market. Well, it sold to the real estate appraiser who came to assess it, so it really did not hit the market. I don't think there was a lot of concrete plans of where they were moving. They went north and leased a condo for a year, then bought a new build house that shared a common wall. They were there maybe 4 years, and moved again, this time to Reno, NV, to a single level house. By this time my mother was into her Alzheimers and dementia, and passed in 1996. Each time they moved they down-sized. What was hardest for them both was leaving their roots in 1986, and all the friends/acquaintances they had. My mother isolated in her disease, and my father was her caretaker.He was isolated by circumstances of caretaking, as she refused any outsiders in to the house. My dad continued to move around for another 16 years after her death, ending in a one bedroom apartment as part of a senior community.

For me, I moved from everyone I knew in 2018, to join my husband in his city. New city, new people, new stores, new medical, you name it. It was overwhelming. I became involved in a couple of volunteer activities, that interested me, and learned to meet people that way. As an introvert, it was not easy. And a year later, in July last year, I did it again, moving 800 miles away, to our retirement property. Once more it was imperative to get to know a few people in this small town, as I was "holding down the fort" while he continued to work. It is not impossible, it takes work, and you find out how mentally strong you are. Key for me has been careful planning as much as you can.
Ginger

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Ginger, As a total extrovert, I have a hard time imagining such a move, and meeting new people & hearing new stories is energizing to me. I admire you for managing this not once, but twice as an introvert.
I was amazed in my Psych 101 class to learn of these concepts - I always thought there was something "wrong" with my shy & introverted cousins. We finally concluded that I got all of the extrovert genes, and they got all the introvert ones, if there is such a thing. When we started kindergarten, one of my cousins had to be moved to the same class as me because she wouldn't speak to anyone else in the school - even the teacher!
Sue

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Thanks Rosemary for bringing up this important topic. I've lived in my home for over 50 years and the maintenance is getting harder. I have no family to help so am relying on "professional movers" to help me through this process. Any ideas of professionals in the St. Paul area who could help? Also, is it wise to move during the Pandemic?
Thanks for any suggestions

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@emd52

Thanks Rosemary for bringing up this important topic. I've lived in my home for over 50 years and the maintenance is getting harder. I have no family to help so am relying on "professional movers" to help me through this process. Any ideas of professionals in the St. Paul area who could help? Also, is it wise to move during the Pandemic?
Thanks for any suggestions

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Hello -
I live in your general area. If I was seeking this kind of help, I would contact Gentle Transitions, Sholom Homes, Presbyterian Homes, Catholic Eldercare or the Ebenezer Society for advice. They have many years of experience in downsizing seniors, and can most likely refer you to someone reputable for help. If you are affiliated with a church, they may also be able to advise.

Based on my experience with seniors, and my cousin's occupation (in Texas) as a care arranger, I would advise you to make sure anyone you hire is bonded and insured and you or someone you trust should personally check their references from people who have actually used their service.

Sue

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@sueinmn

Hello -
I live in your general area. If I was seeking this kind of help, I would contact Gentle Transitions, Sholom Homes, Presbyterian Homes, Catholic Eldercare or the Ebenezer Society for advice. They have many years of experience in downsizing seniors, and can most likely refer you to someone reputable for help. If you are affiliated with a church, they may also be able to advise.

Based on my experience with seniors, and my cousin's occupation (in Texas) as a care arranger, I would advise you to make sure anyone you hire is bonded and insured and you or someone you trust should personally check their references from people who have actually used their service.

Sue

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Thanks Sue for your helpful suggestions....much appreciated! emd52 Liz

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@emd52

Thanks Rosemary for bringing up this important topic. I've lived in my home for over 50 years and the maintenance is getting harder. I have no family to help so am relying on "professional movers" to help me through this process. Any ideas of professionals in the St. Paul area who could help? Also, is it wise to move during the Pandemic?
Thanks for any suggestions

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A friend of mine recently moved in the Twin Cities. She used two “capable” women for her move and was extremely satisfied.
Marianne & Melissa
Mn Move Managers
651-428-7239
612-554-4840
Hope you find comfort and peace with your move!

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@jude07

A friend of mine recently moved in the Twin Cities. She used two “capable” women for her move and was extremely satisfied.
Marianne & Melissa
Mn Move Managers
651-428-7239
612-554-4840
Hope you find comfort and peace with your move!

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Jude07 Thank you for the contact information...very helpful. emd52

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