Caring for my husband with late-stage lung cancer

@turtle115 What merpreb said is true I was with my husband when he died and passed over to the other side It was an honor to be there with him . My Mother died during the night I got the call about 5 a.m. but I think she knew the time was coming . The night before she pulled me toward her like in a rush and gave me a kiss. You may find this with your husband or similar . The after my husband I was always seeing hawks everywhere and deer . His Mother planted flowers on our bank they all never grew but that spring they all grew it was like a flower rug on the ground there . Take notice or things your husband liked . Stay strong now and when he is gone . We are keeping you in our thoughts and prayers . Post when you can

I am so glad I was with my husband when he passed Feb 8. He was in a care center and I spent the last two days with him. It would have been so much harder to get that call in the night. They helped keep him so comfortable and although he was very quiet, I know know he knew I was there. He is at peace and no longer in pain.

@rmftucker- Hello. I think that being with someone as they pass allows us to say a final goodby. I missed being with my dad as he died in his car in the driveway. I think that our feelings are more profound and we bond even closer with that person. I'm glad that you can look back and feel the way you do. It's comforting to know this. Thank you.

Thanks for the support from everyone. Andrew passed away this evening.....peacefully.... we had a couple bad days....but glad to know there is no more pain and suffering. So thankful for the 56 years we did have. May he soul Rest In Peace.

@turtle115 Im so sorry to hear this but he is at peace now . You had a long marriage with lots of memories rely on the good ones . At first this memory will be all consuming but you will get through it with our Lord,s help if you believe . This is what we are promised no more pain and suffering . We are here for you when you want to talk be safe and be kind now to yourself.

@turtle115- I thought about you all day yesterday. My most heartfelt condolences on the loss of Andrew. What wonderful memories after 56 years you must have. I hope that as time goes on that you will remember them and take comfort in them. Please take care of yourself now and I hope that you will stay in touch.

Hello @turtle115

Please accept my condolences on the passing of Andrew. He was undoubtedly a very fine, loving man. I know you are glad to know that his pain and suffering are over but I'm also sure that your grief is very real.

You will fondly remember the 56 years you had together with a mixture of happiness and sadness. The mixture of feelings is normal.

In my area, funerals are being limited to only close family members, and often a memorial service is planned for after the social distancing restrictions are passed. I'm sure this must be true for you as well.

When you feel comfortable doing so, please feel free to tell us something about Andrew and share with us how you met, what he was like, his strengths and weaknesses. I and our other members, would enjoy getting to know him.

Will you be able to have your children with you now or are they restricted from coming to see you at this time?

Hello @rmftucker,

As your husband just passed away on February 8, I know your grief must be fresh and real. How are you doing? With social distancing needed, the process of grief becomes more difficult. I hope that you feel supported during this time.

Please share, as you are comfortable doing so, how you are doing. How are you taking care of yourself?

@turtle115 Sending you a gentle hug [virtually] in this period of immense emotion. Each hour that passes may bring a new challenge to get through. But you will, I have no doubt. And there is no doubt, when reading your words, of the love you and Andrew shared. Relief from pain and suffering is what we strive for when faced with the situation you experienced. We're here for you even now. Share an amusing moment from your lives together with us, and smile as we will when we read the words.
Ginger

I am doing well. Casey had been in the care center for just short of three years after being diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease and vascular dementia about 3 prior to that. We have great memories after 65 years of marriage, and also been through a lot with 5 children, 6 grandchildren, 9 g-grandchildren and 2 g-g-grandchildren. Two of my children and a granddaughter live close so see them frequently, but everyone else is scattered from Washington State to Florida, as happens with many families these days. Our son who lives in Arkansas has recently been diagnosed with stage 4 stomach cancer so that is a concern, but we will get through this. I'm so thankful for my wonderful church family. We are having Sunday Service live through Facebook, and a daily 5 minute prayer service at 6 pm Live on Facebook. This will continue at least until this COVID-19 pandemic is over. We have had Live Face book and YouTube services filmed and archived for several years, but only the sermons. Now they include music contributed by many of our talented members. Makes it much more meaningful.

Being unable to meet with friends for lunch several times a month and going to DAR and church women meetings has made the days lonely, but I am keeping myself busy writing notes to the shut-ins and visiting on the phone with others, offering hints to parents on Facebook of ideas I used in my 24 years of teaching lower elementary students and my own family, to occupy those busy little hands when they have to stay home.

I miss Casey like everything but know he is in a better place. The past three years have been very difficult for him and me,and I never told him I was going home, just that I had to go take care of his little dog, Suzy. He would have wanted to go home with me otherwise. He was a very busy and active man, always working in the garage or yard, playing pool almost everyday with friends at the community center, visiting neighbors, eating out with me, family and friends,etc. It was very difficult seeing his personality change so he did not see anything good in anybody and always finding fault. Refused to continue going to play pool even though I said I would take him after he couldn't drive anymore. I have great memories that will carry me through.

God is probably keeping his busy or he keeping God busy.