Simply discouraged by chronic pain

Posted by Rachel, Volunteer Mentor @rwinney, Mar 15, 2020

Dear anyone,

I have all the right answers in my head, regarding my chronic pain yet, it's so hard to apply them day in and day out. Exhausting. I'm very stifled in this body which carries through to my life and overall well being. I'm bored and lonely...it's isolating when you have difficulty being a part of normal civilization due to various health conditions. I desperately want to be what I used to be...someone who could physically accomplish the simplest of tasks, partake in normal family functions like a dinner or a small birthday party. Im so frustrated by hurting 24/7and deeply mourn the loss of what I used to be. I work desperately to keep myself focused on what I CAN do verses what I can't but, when I repeatedly get shot down by my diseases amd diagnoses, disappointment is inevitable.

I know I've come to the right place... others here share my struggles. Thank you for letting me fall back on you. Today I'm just at my wits end.

Rachel

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Chronic Pain Support Group.

@rwinney Hi Rachel Yes we all have been there . The two things I cant do but do cause it causes pain in my back is washing the dishes before I get done or even before I wash all my back fells like its going to break in half. But I push forward then relax . I look at others that are bedridden and that is there existence . totally bedridden but it is hard for us I realize . For me Im a believer in God and look to him I pray please get me through these dishes and the floor it takes me 3 days to do my floors. And with this neuropathy my legs are on fire most nights that keep me awake . Vent all you want that's one way that makes us feel better . Have a better day tomorrow . You are always positive keep it don't let it go .

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Hello! Keep in mind you are not alone. God never leaves us or forsakes us! I’ve been there and I can tell you finding the right doctor and treatment can be discouraging but just pray and believe that this will not kill you but will make a better version of you. Sometimes I feel the same but taking one day at a time is the key. And of course know your body and listen to it. If something is going to hurt bad stop at the right time and do whatever makes you feel relaxed and comfortable. Sometimes doing some stretches, taking a hot shower, being thankful for the small things and finding a new hobby is just the right thing to do on a daily basis. Stay focused on the possibility that things will get better for you and that everything will work for your good!! Be encouraged and stay focused on the little things you can do by yourself!

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The pain at night is unbearable at times,feels like walking on hot glass

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@gaby23

Hello! Keep in mind you are not alone. God never leaves us or forsakes us! I’ve been there and I can tell you finding the right doctor and treatment can be discouraging but just pray and believe that this will not kill you but will make a better version of you. Sometimes I feel the same but taking one day at a time is the key. And of course know your body and listen to it. If something is going to hurt bad stop at the right time and do whatever makes you feel relaxed and comfortable. Sometimes doing some stretches, taking a hot shower, being thankful for the small things and finding a new hobby is just the right thing to do on a daily basis. Stay focused on the possibility that things will get better for you and that everything will work for your good!! Be encouraged and stay focused on the little things you can do by yourself!

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Thank you. I keep trying.

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@rwinney It is our nature to grieve what we are no longer able to accomplish. Our memories play tapes, and we relive events we used to partake in. I keep reminding myself that I can adapt what is possible now. Do I miss those days, those activities? Yes, of course. But listening to my body, I find other ways, and know it is what my body will be able to handle. Do I get depressed and rant against my disorders and conditions? Absolutely. In the end, it is a gentle reminder that I am still alive, still able to make a difference, that keeps me going. I have had to re-focus, which takes patience and time.

We are here for you, and completely understand!
Ginger

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@gingerw

@rwinney It is our nature to grieve what we are no longer able to accomplish. Our memories play tapes, and we relive events we used to partake in. I keep reminding myself that I can adapt what is possible now. Do I miss those days, those activities? Yes, of course. But listening to my body, I find other ways, and know it is what my body will be able to handle. Do I get depressed and rant against my disorders and conditions? Absolutely. In the end, it is a gentle reminder that I am still alive, still able to make a difference, that keeps me going. I have had to re-focus, which takes patience and time.

We are here for you, and completely understand!
Ginger

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Thank you @gingerw. Moving words that I really need. Much appreciated.

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@rwinney

Thank you @gingerw. Moving words that I really need. Much appreciated.

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...one of my biggest hurdles is not understanding why I cant stay strong about my truth now. Ups and downs a long the way and by now, 2-3 years in, I feel like I should have a better handle of acceptance but, no.

As a 49 year old woman, I find hormonally, I'm challenged more so each cycle which is driving me insane! I do not need any extra help antagonising myself.

Rachel

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Hi Rachel, You express my sentiments, exactly. You express them so well that I suffer with you and for you. I know you work so hard at finding answers, and really, there are none. There is kind of "patches," to try and make us feel better, but nothing really works very well for nerves. In this day and age, I find it almost incredulous that there is so little. I cannot help but share with you the two that work for me. They are not particularly happy solutions, but they beat pain by a long run. First, I have found Kratom in pill form, so you do not have to taste the vile stuff. The pills don't work as long for me as the powder, but they do work. Please do not be afraid of Kratom. Like anything else, if used responsibly, there is no problem with it. Kratom can be a God send. That is why there is an American Kratom Foundation, trying to make it legal, and studied more. If you want the place where I get pills, let me know. And you don't get the high of marijuana. And speaking of marijuana, which I know you can't take, if you have your medical marijuana card, I would have a serious talk with a dispensary worker about what to take, if you want to try again. I notice, at least for me, that the marijuana vapes are pretty mild and mellow. They are good for distancing the pain, but still feeling like yourself. I find the flowers, stronger, and the Gummies, which take about an hour to kick in, just blow me away. However, each has it's way of making me feel better. If I am in utter agony, I inhale a few puff of vape, and then take a Gummie, which will kick in later. Again, a very odd way to live, but beats pain. Lastly, I will be having a trial of a Dorsal Root stimulator on April 9th, if the trial is not canceled due to the Corona Virus. Of course, I would rather lower the pain, than take Kratom and Marijuana. Rachel. really, try Kratom. Let go of fears. You are such a responsible, intelligent, person. You would only be helping yourself. Losing yourself in illness is not to be described. For me, it is just a daily heartbreak. I was very active, involved, and fit. Now I try, when I can. I mostly do foot exercises to strengthen my muscles, because without this, I can barely walk. Anyway, I hear you. Each of us are different, but I do HEAR you. At some level, I do know your journey, and I am sorry. Please reach out to me, and continue to be brave. Love, Lori Renee

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@gingerw

@rwinney It is our nature to grieve what we are no longer able to accomplish. Our memories play tapes, and we relive events we used to partake in. I keep reminding myself that I can adapt what is possible now. Do I miss those days, those activities? Yes, of course. But listening to my body, I find other ways, and know it is what my body will be able to handle. Do I get depressed and rant against my disorders and conditions? Absolutely. In the end, it is a gentle reminder that I am still alive, still able to make a difference, that keeps me going. I have had to re-focus, which takes patience and time.

We are here for you, and completely understand!
Ginger

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Thank u Ginger it’s very hard to adapt to! I am also living in chronic pain

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@lioness

@rwinney Hi Rachel Yes we all have been there . The two things I cant do but do cause it causes pain in my back is washing the dishes before I get done or even before I wash all my back fells like its going to break in half. But I push forward then relax . I look at others that are bedridden and that is there existence . totally bedridden but it is hard for us I realize . For me Im a believer in God and look to him I pray please get me through these dishes and the floor it takes me 3 days to do my floors. And with this neuropathy my legs are on fire most nights that keep me awake . Vent all you want that's one way that makes us feel better . Have a better day tomorrow . You are always positive keep it don't let it go .

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@lioness Thank you Linda, for sharing your thoughts. I get very frustrated with myself when I can't see my way out at times. Still learning.

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