Caregiving: I’m frustrated and exhausted.

I show my husband a lot of love. Lots of thank you's. It's hard to stand but I always try to make good meals to come home to. I try to do what I can, he's very tired. He was always loving until I got this disease and he gradually changed. After reading the posts, no more saying I'm sorry. I still have my sense of humor. I text him loving things during the day. He does say thank you.

@kimspr3 I am out of town, and on the road. I have been deleting posts the last two days and not responding/liking anything. But this thread really speaks to me, so please allow me to ramble. Years ago I was involved with someone, whose brother had rapidly progressing prostrate cancer. His wife wanted nothing to do with him, from daily caretaking to doctors appointments to future concerns. It was a terrible thing to demonstrate to their young daughter. I did his caretaking, in addition to a regular full-time job. I was very grateful that he allowed me to, as he was such a gentle soul and such a wealth of Life wisdom. Everyday I was grateful and thanked him for allowing me the privilege of caretaking. Because it was a privilege. He never failed to say thank you. That meant more to me than any thing else. So, to @debiobrien and @vickys know that those we care for may not always say it right out loud, a look, or smile of gratitude, goes a long way.
Ginger

@kimspr3 I am out of town, and on the road. I have been deleting posts the last two days and not responding/liking anything. But this thread really speaks to me, so please allow me to ramble. Years ago I was involved with someone, whose brother had rapidly progressing prostrate cancer. His wife wanted nothing to do with him, from daily caretaking to doctors appointments to future concerns. It was a terrible thing to demonstrate to their young daughter. I did his caretaking, in addition to a regular full-time job. I was very grateful that he allowed me to, as he was such a gentle soul and such a wealth of Life wisdom. Everyday I was grateful and thanked him for allowing me the privilege of caretaking. Because it was a privilege. He never failed to say thank you. That meant more to me than any thing else. So, to @debiobrien and @vickys know that those we care for may not always say it right out loud, a look, or smile of gratitude, goes a long way.
Ginger

Hi Scott, my situation is the reverse. My husband is the caregiver. My condition is getting worse, I feel so bad for him. I don't like to ask for much help because he cares for the home, grounds. I need help bending, dressing, standing. Pain. I try not to look at his face to see if he is annoyed. Our families live out-of-state and friends don't call. I don't know how to make his life better? I keep telling him, I'm sorry. Almost every weekend he goes to the minor league baseball games. He needs to relax and get away. I wish he would join and speak with other Care Givers. I also have PTSD so he has 2 things to deal with. My dreams wake me screaming waking him again. Does anyone feel kinda the same? Thank You

I can’t remember if I shared this, but I finally finished the book “The Unexpected Journey of Caring” (which I LOVED). It has a big section on the enormous value of online caregiving groups, above in person groups.
If anyone has time to read, even just those odd moments in the wee hours, it is a gift of a book for anyone in a caregiving role. It has changed or really validated how I feel about so much.

I show my husband a lot of love. Lots of thank you's. It's hard to stand but I always try to make good meals to come home to. I try to do what I can, he's very tired. He was always loving until I got this disease and he gradually changed. After reading the posts, no more saying I'm sorry. I still have my sense of humor. I text him loving things during the day. He does say thank you.

It’s a chapter in life.
We’re, many of us, going through this earlier in life than many our friends and other family members will. Some may never. But we will forever be different for it.
And for those of us who are married and providing care for our spouses: well, of course we do.

And I should add, the same is true for those of us who are caring for parents, siblings, friends. We do it because it needs to be done and because we can. And we are different for it!

And I should add, the same is true for those of us who are caring for parents, siblings, friends. We do it because it needs to be done and because we can. And we are different for it!

Hello Vicky, We do become different and learn from it. But at times hurt. Years ago a friend had Leukemia. She's good now! My choice, He mother was so frighted she would loose her daughter. Husband and I listened, became close, I loved her so much. Spent time with her. So was upset over her family arguing over my friends care. With her permission I called American Cancer Society, how to help them. With her permission they contacted the family. I'm telling this for a reason. My friend the daughter asked me to put makeup on her we had fun. I did the laundry for her children, helped with the dog, had her children for dinner. Hospital is in NYC so a friend and I drove there twice a week. She has a great sense of humor, it helped a lot!! I took care because I wanted to no one asked me. After she was in remission, still is, Her brother gave her a Hugh 50th Birthday Party. Friend and brother called people up to thank them, I was never called. It hurt me a lot, I got over it. My husband was lived but calmed down. I know I did the right thing and NO ONE can take that away from me. If it were not for my friends health I would never have gotten so close to her Mother. I called her my second mom. When she passed away I lost that extra special person in my life. We stayed friends but not in the same way. No accolades, a hug.