~ Depressed and scared, not making it financially ~

@jimhd Oh yes, balance issues are unsettling. I listen to a family member's service online. Their pastor is not one that shouts out threats-rather, hell's fire and brimstone. He knows his Bible and I enjoy his talks and lessons. My sanctuary is still my home and nature. I ventured out for a walk yesterday afternoon and made the happy discovery that the maintenance manager had mowed a path to the other retention pond. Now it does not get much better than that for this nature hound!!!

Well, here we go again. My move down here to VA has been nothing but a nightmare …. it has been one thing after another. I will be moving to the "senior building" when a first floor, 2-bedroom one becomes available. Why? They're cheaper. My rent has gone up in this building by almost $60, and I simply cannot pay it. The amount it was before was almost exactly what my S.S. is when it comes in. It was rather an " S.S. in - rent out" all the same day. I was at least making it. Now I find out yesterday that the Mgr. of this complex (supposedly a low-income complex) is telling me I did not pay the rent for April. What???? I copied that line in my bank account and sent it to her. Then she said, "maybe this will help your memory" and proceeded to tell me "don't you remember? You came in with a cashier's check and your regular check at the same time." (WHAT? I've never gotten a cashier's check for anything down here.) Then she said, you told me to just tear up the cashier's check since you had given me your own." I always pay my rent electronically, and I have no clue why she is saying this. I feel sick …. I just don't have the extra money, and I really doubt HER memory or record keeping. I shouldn't be surprised … everything I've done down here has gone wrong. That sounds extreme, but it's true. I wrote her an e-mail, with a cc. to my son, who is a D.C. lawyer. I don't see that I have any recourse. I HATE THIS PLACE! I'm checking for a low income apartment in the town I came from in MD, but the ones I've found are in dangerous areas …… but, this one is too. I just feel sickened. Thanks for listening. abby

I think my above post should have been up farther under one of the others. Sorry …. abby

@amberpep I was in the same position you are in now New owners took over and raised my rent by 60.00 I could,nt do it either so I moved back in with my son and his wife . I did have me application in for over a year at a low income building and in 3 months it came through so we looked at it , it was a 1 bedroom my son liked the place and I did too so that was 7 years ago . As far as that lady goes and your rent check have you contacted your bank ? If she got it your cancelled check should be in the bank . Did you get any deposit back? I,m sorry this has happened . Can you live with your son till you find something you can afford ? I hope and pray this will get straightened out for you . Its a good thing your son is a lawyer . Wishing you the best . Let us know how things go

Hoping things are starting to get better for you. I own a lot of rental properties. Wish you lived in Kansas City.

Can so relate to your comment on poverty in the so called golden years! Dealing with any form of depression is difficult enough but adding the financial stress or lack of finances during this life phase just adds to depression which slows any kind of recovery. Thank you for your post.

@amberpep Hi, Abby. Has anything changed yet for you? I trust that the rent check problem has been resolved. It sounds to me that you'd be a lot happier and safer back in MD. Is your son supportive of that, and could he be helpful in your apartment search? Have you found any online websites for appartment availability?

The two things that have been hard for us during this lockdown are missing church and restaurants. Churches are supposed to reopened next week, but with a limit of 100 people. Our church has more like 400+ attenders, so we're going to be stuck a while longer.

Stay safe - from both covid19 and falling. Maybe a cane would help prevent some falls. I have mine in the car trunk, so if I need it, it's not far away.

Thinking about you.

Jim

@amberpep I was just thinking of how you are doing when I came across Jim,s post . How are you doing hope your in better shape now .

I have said this so many times, I'm sure you all are sick of it. I just can't envision myself living here til the end ..... I'm 75 right now and in great health, but I just hate it here. I've been looking for a part-time job, because money is tight-tight, and it would get me out. I so much wish I'd have stayed in MD in my condo. Everything I loved was there. It's 4 years now, and I still don't like it here and just hate the thought. I visited the senior center, but it seems more like the folks there should be in nursing homes (and I really don't mean that to be unkind) .... it's all bingo, cards, and various type of things like that. I guess I didn't know what I was expecting. I'll be moving to the Senior part of this complex, which is a small amount cheaper, quite small in size. I just wish I could go to sleep and not wake up. My girls live down here with their families and they're very sweet, but ..... my X-husband also lives down here too. What a mistake I made when I left MD. I'm sorry I keep bringing this upl
abby

@amberpep

I'm really sorry that you haven't been able to find your place in Virginia. I know what living below the poverty level is like. Not fun. Has your son talked with you about moving back home to MD? It sounds like you're pretty close to him. Family can be really supportive. So many families are torn apart, but you're blessed to have a son and daughters who care about you.

Do you have a date for the move to the senior apartment?

If you could do what you want to do, go where you want to go, what would that look like? Maybe it's just a dream right now, but the possibility of fulfilling your dreams is there. Remember "To dream the impossible dream"?

Waking up in Heaven is one of my dreams. I suppose it's not unusual for those of us who live with depression to have those thoughts. For now, I make a promise to myself that I won't do anything to make that happen for a week, or until my daughter and her husband and their 3 year old and 9 month old daughters come to visit this summer. It's been a helpful system that I use to keep going.

Right now, where I'm going is to bed. Have a restful weekend, Abby. Thank you for being a member of my Mayo Connect family.

Jim