1. < Mental Health

~ Depressed and scared, not making it financially ~

Posted by Barb @amberpep, Feb 26, 2019

I'm 74 years old and moved 3 years ago from MD to VA. My girls had hounded me to come down for several years so I finally did it. I sold my condo (at a loss), and a job with a dentist. Well, here I am, and financially I'm just not making it. That amount I earned from the dentist covered me with just a little left over. Now, more than often, I don't have enough. I eeked out just enough for my rent this month, and now there's not even enough for a quart of milk. I get S.S. and what I get goes right out for my rent (usually there's enough), and my son sends me money each month. I'm sickened, depressed, and scared. I live in low income housing, and have a budget that practically squeaks. I'm thinking of starting to sell some of my furniture.
I so wish I'd have stayed in MD, for so many reasons, this being one of them. I have applied for oodles of jobs (they're all on line now), and legally they're not supposed to ask you how old you are (although many do), but they all ask when you graduated from either high school or college .... well, it doesn't take rocket science to figure out how old a person is. I'm so depressed about this, and .so upset that my stomach.constantly churns.
Thanks for letting me vent.
abby

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smilie | @smilie | Aug 9, 2019

I forgot, there’s my sister too.

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Mentor
Ginger, Volunteer Mentor | @gingerw | Aug 9, 2019
In reply to @smilie "I’m back. Why I feel so stuck is that he helps me with my finances, budgeting..." + (show)
@smilie

I’m back. Why I feel so stuck is that he helps me with my finances, budgeting and buying mutual funds.

Jump to this post

@smilie Like you, I was in an abusive relationship, and like you, there was no physical violence, but the scars from emotional and mental abuse are hidden and seem much deeper. I had to make the decision that although this person helped contribute to a lifestyle I wanted to live, my own self-worth was more critical. I had started to believe what I was told, even if a deep part of me knew it wasn't true. I knew it would be tough to be on my own, but I did, with little resources. I reached out for counseling to help me understand the cycles of abuse. I asked for help at a local center for financial guidance. In the meantime, I lost connection with my family and friends because they couldn't see the abuse. Was it hard? You bet! But I am stronger for it all these years later, and I don't regret making a stand and saying "no more", even going through the days of loneliness to recapture myself. I sincerely hope you will think about what I have shared here, and think about what you have to do to make things better for yourself. By the way, this is the first time I have said so much about my background, your story has meant that much to me.
Ginger

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2 replies
smilie | @smilie | Aug 9, 2019
In reply to @gingerw "@smilie Like you, I was in an abusive relationship, and like you, there was no physical..." + (show)
@gingerw

@smilie Like you, I was in an abusive relationship, and like you, there was no physical violence, but the scars from emotional and mental abuse are hidden and seem much deeper. I had to make the decision that although this person helped contribute to a lifestyle I wanted to live, my own self-worth was more critical. I had started to believe what I was told, even if a deep part of me knew it wasn't true. I knew it would be tough to be on my own, but I did, with little resources. I reached out for counseling to help me understand the cycles of abuse. I asked for help at a local center for financial guidance. In the meantime, I lost connection with my family and friends because they couldn't see the abuse. Was it hard? You bet! But I am stronger for it all these years later, and I don't regret making a stand and saying "no more", even going through the days of loneliness to recapture myself. I sincerely hope you will think about what I have shared here, and think about what you have to do to make things better for yourself. By the way, this is the first time I have said so much about my background, your story has meant that much to me.
Ginger

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I was married twice, how stupid, and they were both abusive. I discovered that they had some similar characteristics.

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2 replies
dianrib | @dianrib | Aug 9, 2019

I married at 16 Bad idea Found my true love when I was 20 Howard Great guy Gone miss him so much RIP 2010

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1 reply
dianrib | @dianrib | Aug 9, 2019

One slap That ended my first marriage right away

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1 reply
dianrib | @dianrib | Aug 9, 2019
In reply to @smilie "I’m back. Why I feel so stuck is that he helps me with my finances, budgeting..." + (show)
@smilie

I’m back. Why I feel so stuck is that he helps me with my finances, budgeting and buying mutual funds.

Jump to this post

is that worth the misery ?/ Never allow any KIND of abuse Makes it worse

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dianrib | @dianrib | Aug 9, 2019
In reply to @gingerw "@smilie Is your brother-in-law aware of how his interactions are perceived by you? If you were..." + (show)
@gingerw

@smilie Is your brother-in-law aware of how his interactions are perceived by you? If you were to talk to him, would he laugh it off, or sincerely make an effort to change? What does your sister say about it? It looks like you are also posting on other discussions in the Depression and Anxiety group. What would you like to see happen, what are you willing to do to have the abuse stop? We care here, and would like to see your situation improve. Is there a local group you can contact for some resolutions, also?
Ginger

Jump to this post

What No use he is a abuser Will NOT sto-p

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smilie | @smilie | Aug 9, 2019
In reply to @gingerw "@smilie Like you, I was in an abusive relationship, and like you, there was no physical..." + (show)
@gingerw

@smilie Like you, I was in an abusive relationship, and like you, there was no physical violence, but the scars from emotional and mental abuse are hidden and seem much deeper. I had to make the decision that although this person helped contribute to a lifestyle I wanted to live, my own self-worth was more critical. I had started to believe what I was told, even if a deep part of me knew it wasn't true. I knew it would be tough to be on my own, but I did, with little resources. I reached out for counseling to help me understand the cycles of abuse. I asked for help at a local center for financial guidance. In the meantime, I lost connection with my family and friends because they couldn't see the abuse. Was it hard? You bet! But I am stronger for it all these years later, and I don't regret making a stand and saying "no more", even going through the days of loneliness to recapture myself. I sincerely hope you will think about what I have shared here, and think about what you have to do to make things better for yourself. By the way, this is the first time I have said so much about my background, your story has meant that much to me.
Ginger

Jump to this post

Hi Ginger, I’m almost broke because of my ex husband, he kept taking away money from me and to this day I don’t know how, plus, are you ready for this and are you sitting down, we had no sex life for 12 years. Can you figure that one out?

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1 reply
smilie | @smilie | Aug 9, 2019
In reply to @dianrib "One slap That ended my first marriage right away" + (show)
@dianrib

One slap That ended my first marriage right away

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Did you get remarried?

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1 reply
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