~ Depressed and scared, not making it financially ~

He’ older than me by nine years, married to one of my sisters and they are living overseas.

He has never physically hit me, just he has a big ugly mouth and he verbally and emotionally and psychologically and monetarily abusing me.

@smilie Is your sister aware of his treatment of you? Have you ever talked to her about how you feel? Do you feel as if you say something he will take it out on her instead? This may be the time that you need to distance yourself lovingly, and explain to your sister why you need to do this, for your own mental and emotional health. While that may seem pretty drastic, you have to put yourself first. I'm not sure how he has financially abused you as they live overseas, but that is also something that you would have to deal with.
Ginger

That was sent in error. I am sorry

If it was to me, it's ok!

Hi, @smilie - That sounds like a very hard situation for you with feeling as though he is verbally/emotionally/psychologically and monetarily abusing you.

I wanted to suggest one resource that may be helpful to you to contact for some guidance https://www.thehotline.org/.

According to this site, this is the definition of domestic violence/abuse, which is broader than some may think of it: https://www.thehotline.org/is-this-abuse/abuse-defined/

"Domestic violence includes behaviors that physically harm, arouse fear, prevent a partner from doing what they wish or force them to behave in ways they do not want. It includes the use of physical and sexual violence, threats and intimidation, emotional abuse and economic deprivation. Many of these different forms of domestic violence/abuse can be occurring at any one time within the same intimate relationship."

I know about this type of abuse, I was married twice and I was verbally, emotionally, and psychologically abused and this is my brother in law, so he makes number three.

@smilie Is your brother-in-law aware of how his interactions are perceived by you? If you were to talk to him, would he laugh it off, or sincerely make an effort to change? What does your sister say about it? It looks like you are also posting on other discussions in the Depression and Anxiety group. What would you like to see happen, what are you willing to do to have the abuse stop? We care here, and would like to see your situation improve. Is there a local group you can contact for some resolutions, also?
Ginger

I told him that he is being mean to me and he turns it around on me, actually I tell him that he is abusing me. I have to go for a minute.

I’m back. Why I feel so stuck is that he helps me with my finances, budgeting and buying mutual funds.