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~ Depressed and scared, not making it financially ~
I'm 74 years old and moved 3 years ago from MD to VA. My girls had hounded me to come down for several years so I finally did it. I sold my condo (at a loss), and a job with a dentist. Well, here I am, and financially I'm just not making it. That amount I earned from the dentist covered me with just a little left over. Now, more than often, I don't have enough. I eeked out just enough for my rent this month, and now there's not even enough for a quart of milk. I get S.S. and what I get goes right out for my rent (usually there's enough), and my son sends me money each month. I'm sickened, depressed, and scared. I live in low income housing, and have a budget that practically squeaks. I'm thinking of starting to sell some of my furniture.
I so wish I'd have stayed in MD, for so many reasons, this being one of them. I have applied for oodles of jobs (they're all on line now), and legally they're not supposed to ask you how old you are (although many do), but they all ask when you graduated from either high school or college .... well, it doesn't take rocket science to figure out how old a person is. I'm so depressed about this, and .so upset that my stomach.constantly churns.
Thanks for letting me vent.
abby
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The home health care agencies that offer home care for elderly or rehab clients usually do not discriminate. I've seen some recent posts on working as a senior person. I'm your age and that's where I work. It is possible so do not despair.
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4 ReactionsHi georgette .... thanks so much for replying. My neighbor, who is my age, works for one of those, and after 6 years she's paid $9 an hour. She has really had to do things an LPN should do ..... clean up BM all over the patient, sheets, and bathroom, have food thrown at her, and be totally degraded. I had to take care of my Dad, with Alzheimers before he went into an institution, and did many of the "cleaning up" things. I don't want to sound snotty, but I can't do that again. She also has to work 2 weekends a month, stay overnight 2 nights a month, and be ready to fill in for another caretaker who can't go.
abby
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2 ReactionsYes I've heard that happens. Many agencies pay more depending on the state. I get paid more in Colorado and I also decline all clients who are inappropriate. I also see the clients who I don't want and decline overnights and everything I don't want. That has always worked for me. On the other hand I understand how it can be challenging
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4 Reactions@amberpep So true. Knowing someone's age is a no-brainer. Think they are being polite or think us just plain stupid?? I truly am sorry things have been so difficult. Are your daughters aware?? They wanted you close. I will admit I am terribly confused.
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4 ReactionsThank you both for responding .... I feel like someone knows I'm here. In my state, VA, apparently my neighbor has little choice. They send her out, introduce her, and that's it ..... the rest is up to her. Yes, I've had other friends say to me "if your kids wanted you down here so bad, why didn't they pay your moving costs?" Well, I had to go into Finance Consolidation to pay that off - that move cost $12,000 and then I lost money on my condo. My son is helping me and one of my daughters, but the other daughter and her husband are as tight as I am. I'm so tired .... I should have never been convinced by them to move ..... life is a chore.
abby
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1 ReactionHi Georgette ... with the company my neighbor works for, they have no choice - they must have 2 weekends, 2 overnights a month, and either Thanksgiving or Christmas. For $9 that's asking a lot.
abby
@amberpep Hi amberpep, gee I am so sorry for what you are going through. I hate that you feel life is a chore. If I had $, I’d send it to you! Only I could be homeless in a month or so. I’m in the hospital now, my brother, who lives with me lost his job and is working PT . I’m on disability because of the fibro and RA. I understand. I hope you know I’m praying for you. ......Karen
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4 ReactionsCheck out some inspirational stuff..one of my favorite people to listen to to help my mood is Neil Pasricha. He is a 'real life guy' with a Harvard MBA who goes around talking about the best self help books, and how books can really help. I also listen to his podcasts which often have very inspirational messages as to why we get so down on ourselves and how it tends to be a cycle. The podcast is called 3books. He also fell into a depression and started a blog called 1000 awesome things. His work has helped me tremendously and I hope it helps you also! I unfortunately cannot include the links but check it out!
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2 ReactionsHi Karen .... there are so many of us in the same, or similar situation. Something is wrong .... aren't these the "golden years?" It's more like the poverty years. And I will pray for you my friend.
abby
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3 ReactionsHi Parus ..... yes, I think that when you "get to a certain age" they see us all as little old, blue haired ladies wearing house dresses and slippers everywhere we go. Well, it's not that way anymore. Yes, one of my girls, and my son know what's happening. My other daughter and her husband are on a very tight budget, so I don't say too much to her. My son sends me money every month and my daughter gives me money every month. I appreciate it, but at the same time I hate that I'm in this position. I feel like a drain on everyone. I spent the entire day answering Indeed ads .... now it's 9:30 PM and I have no doubt that I'll hear nothing from them. It's just useless. I should have stayed in MD where I had a job and could keep up with things without eating canned beans every night.
abby