1. < Depression & Anxiety

Down in the dumps again – challenges with adult children

Posted by kdo0827 @kdo0827, Dec 27, 2018

Hi everyone! It’s been awhile since I’ve posted. I started taking Cymbalta and got off the other stuff. I was doing better but the past 2 months or so not so good. I’m struggling with feeling invisible and I’m feeling very unappreciated. I feel my kids only call when they want something or have a problem. They never ask how I’m feeling nor do they try and help. I had a procedure done yesterday and neither one bothered to check on me. Adding this to my depression isn’t good. Do any of you have these same feelings about your kids?What should I do?

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654321 | @654321 | Jan 28, 2019

Sounds like it works for you. Other than the catching stuff .

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Merry, Alumni Mentor | @merpreb | Jan 28, 2019

@afrobin- I too tell my son about everything. He's followed me for 21 years while I've had lung cancer and I asked him to keep people up to date and he's done a terrific job. He lives on the opposite coast from me so it helps him to feel like he's helping me when I can't be with me.

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Merry, Alumni Mentor | @merpreb | Jan 28, 2019

All- I think that we need to use names (@____) when replying or making a post. It's very confusing without them. Thanks

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2 replies
helenannmarie55 | @helenannmarie55 | Jan 28, 2019
In reply to @afrobin "I, too, am a grandmother. I have vowed not to be what I consider 'a burden'..." + (show)
@afrobin

I, too, am a grandmother. I have vowed not to be what I consider 'a burden' to my overworked, busy, exhausted children. I would take a taxi rather than ask them to drive me somewhere. (I have a car so can drive myself...) I want them to think of me as a bright and cheerful light in their lives. I do the grandmother thing; bringing soups and muffins and spaghetti sauce to help them out. I buy clothing for the wee ones on line. I just babysat a grandchild with a high fever and bronchitis...risking getting it myself. (I take oregano oil in the throat and oregano oil diluted in olive oil in my nose at the first sign of a cold...and have ALMOST had probably 2 dozen colds in the past 7 years plus 3 actual colds that I didn't catch right away!)
My children have told me to please tell them if something is wrong with me. They were upset with me when I kept things to myself. So, I tell them. No mind games. Maybe I sound harsh. If I do, sorry. I am just telling you how I handle the granny role.

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I take a cab on the days that I can heardly maintain, I am a positive person and know families are busy and I don’t want to be a burden It would just Be nice to have some family support. We all have different circumstances I am glad that you are able to do all you do. My pain is deliberating not complaining or looking for symphany it is my truth.

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Merry, Alumni Mentor | @merpreb | Jan 28, 2019

@helenannmarie55- I don't think that asking for help within your family is being a burden at all. It's part of being a family, sharing good things and bad. Helping out, experiencing things together. You don't think that they would want to help you?

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helenannmarie55 | @helenannmarie55 | Jan 28, 2019
In reply to @654321 "That is just horrible !!! Shame on them. Are you active in church? That really helps..." + (show)
@654321

That is just horrible !!! Shame on them. Are you active in church? That really helps and praying g for your children . They ate the ones who need compassion .

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I Pray for my children everyday. The Bible does state that there will be divisions in families. I do have a church family but havenn’t Reached out to them. We Worship in the worst part of town and I know there are others that need more help. I grew up learning to put others first. Praying and building my relationship with the Lord has really helped me. I pray for everyone in this group and the Facebook MALS group. We are strong people

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Merry, Alumni Mentor | @merpreb | Jan 28, 2019

@helenannmarie55- What a sweetheart you are!

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helenannmarie55 | @helenannmarie55 | Jan 28, 2019

It is a weird deal when it comes to my health care. My children grew up with their mom having many many doctors appoint and always being sick with no diagnosis. My children were exposed by family members that engrained in them that this illness is made up. My children will help me in other areas and I am grateful for that.

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Merry, Alumni Mentor | @merpreb | Jan 28, 2019

@helenannmarie55- I'm very very sorry that some of your family members did this. Shame on them. But I'm glad that they help in other ways.

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