The Journey of Grieving

You did not ramble- you wrote a beautiful post. You show great strength. I cannot know how you feel, but I want you to know I am praying for you! .....Karen

Thank you to all who are sharing your stories of loss...and of hope. Today is my son's birthday. He died on the 13th of the month also. August 13, 2016. Blessings to all those who are going through this grieving process.

I haven't been on our forum for months, except for reading. Today, though, I feel the need to Express gratitude that sharing feelings and knowing others are experiencing such grief does help. Boy, these anniversary dates, birthdays and holidays are tough. Thank you for being here to listen and respond.

Thank you for your prayers. Although I may seem strong I feel so weak and broken. At times I feel like my faith is failing because I wonder how we ended up at this point in our lives. As happy as we were I cant believe how it turned out. I understand Gods plans for us but I just want to turn back time. I pray for acceptance, strength, and peace.

It is so good to hear from you, @georgette12.
Are you doing well?

Good morning, I am brand new to the group. I and bob were to be married on the day he passed away, after only 27 days of knowing that he had stage 3 lung cancer. We have been together for 18 plus years. Life As I knew it was changed overnight. Early in his diagnosis, I had had prayed so hard for healing, for a chance to continue our lives. My answer from God came swiftly, my heart knew He would be healed, not here on earth.
Today, my days are filled with so much sadness. I do everything I need to do. I try so hard to remember all of the times we shared, makes me sadder for I want so much more of him. I’m 62, Bob 70

As I was getting ready to start my day and week I realized something..Everyday i do my best to make sure I'm out doing something even if it's for a few hours..Before I leave I put on my "game face cloak" to face the day...As I go through the day, this imaginary cloak becomes a bit heavier and heavier..When I get home, I can't wait to take it off, because I'm weary from the weight...however there is a part of me that doesn't want it off because that's when the raw emotion of grief and sadness is uncovered..I don't know if this makes sense, but it's how it feels...
I wish everyone the best day you can have...

@maddiec Yes, it does make sense. Anyone else in our group have a "game face cloak" you would like to comment on?

@marylulu56 I am so sorry. I too lost my husband to cancer in December. He had stage 4 stomach cancer. He was diagnosed late April, started chemo and fought as hard as we could and prayed even harder. We didnt have the outcome we wanted but understand it was Gods plan. The evenings and nights are the hardest because that was when we were together. I was able to be at home to take him to appts and care for him. I am grateful for that time. We were married 17 years but knew each other since the 4th grade. Needless to say my heart has broken into a million pieces. I too try to remember the wonderful memories we made but cry because we wont be able to make anymore. I try day by day to have a good day but when that doesn't work I try to get through the next 15 minutes. Through this group I've learned its ok to cry on your terms whenever you want. I pray for God to give you strength and peace. I am 54 he was 55. Praying for you.
Ruby.

@maddiec @hopeful33250 I feel each of us have a cloak that covers several "outfits" that make up who we are today. It could be grief/sadness, or chronic illness/pain, or a form of mental illness, or social anxiety. We feel the need to present ourselves in a manner that society expects of us, or we do it to protect ourselves from the pervasiveness of that same society if we show how we truly are. I believe the cloak of protection may be like that Harry Potter cloak, to make things invisible until we are ready. It helps us survive that day.
Ginger