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The Journey of Grieving

Loss & Grief | Last Active: Mar 1, 2020 | Replies (111)

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@gingerw

@maddiec @hopeful33250 I feel each of us have a cloak that covers several "outfits" that make up who we are today. It could be grief/sadness, or chronic illness/pain, or a form of mental illness, or social anxiety. We feel the need to present ourselves in a manner that society expects of us, or we do it to protect ourselves from the pervasiveness of that same society if we show how we truly are. I believe the cloak of protection may be like that Harry Potter cloak, to make things invisible until we are ready. It helps us survive that day.
Ginger

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Replies to "@maddiec @hopeful33250 I feel each of us have a cloak that covers several "outfits" that make..."

I think generally people don't want to see or deal with our grief as it makes them uneasy. My husband died of Stage 4 small bowel cancer at age 62 almost 5 years ago, so I can attest to the fact it does get somewhat less painful but it never goes away and of course your life is changed forever. I constantly felt at the beginning of this unwanted journey was now what am I supposed to do. There were too many difficult decisions I didn't feel confident to make such as selling my home buying a condo and moving to a new location. Somehow things came together and I am now more settled in my new reality. I think what helped especially at the beginning was attending bereavement groups . When the 1st one ended I joined another group as talking about your loss is so important and is a big part of working through it. My friends were supportive but did not want to talk about it and see my tears of grief after a while, at least that's how I felt. There is great societal pressure to be strong and not burden people with your sorrow. I now have my own cancer diagnosis and feel I am handling it with strength from knowledge about my diagnosis ,family and friend's support as well as knowing I survived my husband's illness and death. I also feel a sense of responsibility to my children to handle this as well as I can and to show them that you are stronger than you know.