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The Journey of Grieving
Traveling the road of grief is never easy. I lost my husband of 62 years 10/6/18. This is my first Thanksgiving without him. I'm fortunate that I have moved into a retirement community and will be able to eat with new friends in our beautiful dining room. I have a lot to be thankful for today even though I miss him and will love him forever. God gives me strength each moment to take the next step. I will be here to discuss my daily journey. If you are grieving for a loss in your life, please join me. Thank you.
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I so like what you say, @maddiec, "being with others gives me a respite from my grief." All of us we need those respites that come from being with others.
I also appreciate the "take-away" that your husband gave you when he said, "cut it out..we have to deal with this..this is the hand I've been dealt." When any of us loses a loved one, I feel there is always a "take-away." By that I mean, some characteristic that person exhibited that we can mimic or mirror in our life that will help us honor their memory and make our world and the world around us a better place.
I sense your husband was a strong person. If you have any other memories or "take-aways" please share them. As one of our mentors, @mamacita, always says, "We are stronger together."
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1 ReactionI miss our moments and that is the hardest time of the day. I cant even make dinner because I break down. So it's been cereal which is fine. That's all I ate towards the end because he wasnt eating much. When I would cry when we were at the hospital he would tell me I was stronger than what I thought I was. But I have never felt so weak and hopeless in my whole life. I am trying to move forward, I have started looking for work ...have a couple of interviews scheduled and pray I dont break down during the interview. I too am trying day by day and sometime minute by minute..I cant do more than that.
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3 ReactionsSending love and hugs to you!
You keep on one day, moment at a time!
@rlealsan It is a struggle each day, and eventually you will find little glimmers of grief lightening up. Do not be discouraged, as the process is ongoing. Our senses will catch a smell, or sound, or see something that reminds you of him, and the grief feels new again. It is a message from him, to let you know he is still watching over you. Your strength was something he saw, and knew you would be so sad but strong to survive. We are here for you.
Ginger
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2 ReactionsThank you so much Ginger. That means alall out to me...made me cry but helpful. Thank you,
Ruby.
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1 ReactionRoad of grief is a road without a destination it is extremely difficult to travel on it.I lost my eldest son seven years back some days are just too painful and difficult for me to manage I literally have to grit my teeth to focus on even simplest of chores .Every day I drag myself out of bed with a prayer that may God grant me strength to bear this unbearable loss and also that no parent has to go through from we went through
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2 ReactionsI wish I could say there was something that helps but nothing really does. That is not to say that well meaning friends don't; it's just that there is no escaping the overwhelming sense of sadness and emptiness never ever leaves. I have to force myself to do even the most mundane things at home each day in a home that was filled with love when he was here but now empty. I force myself to occasionally do something with a friend but there is literally no escape every moment. I cannot see a future where I used to love to plan. I struggle to find and hint of joy in anything. I try to put on a good face for our 2 young adult children who live with me when they are around but otherwise I cannot think of anything else but my love. If it were not for our kids, I do not think I could go on at all.
@jmel ...what is so difficult is not only the physical loss but all the secondary losses...the loss of our future, our security, our past, our identity, our plans...and on and on.....the sadness and loneliness is always there...every minute of everyday, but in the midst of it all, there are things that are true blessings in our lives...I know it's hard to see them sometimes, but for me it helps me to try to see the glass half full.....
I have moments of incredible grief and sadness...I get it out because I will explode if I don't...but I try not to stay there...I talk to him all the time..writing has really helped..it just puts all the sadness I'm feeling in a place, and then I put the pen down and move along.....this will be an ongoing process for as long as it takes...and even when we think we are OK...we may not be....and that's ok as well...
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2 ReactionsTeresa...For me, I know that this was my husband's destiny..and now, this is mine...He put a face on living with a virtual death sentence with fortitude and pragmatism. I know he was frightened at the end, but you would have never known it..everyone who knew him was touched by his journey...
Now, for me, I'm putting a face on what it's like to deal with my unspeakable loss...we are showing those around us what that looks like...I want to be able to heal...
Although my children are adults with children of their own, they are devastated by the loss of their Dad...I can't have them burdened with carrying me along as well..I have to model, to the best of my ability, moving forward...
That is not to say I don't want to curl up in a ball from my grief..and sometimes I do..but I do the best I can to pick myself up and keep going...
This winter weather is exacerbating the whole process for me....the dreariness and darkness is a big issue for me..ugh..
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