"Brain Fog"

Posted by jodeej @jodeej, Nov 20, 2018

Hi all,
I've been AWOL since my husband's 4 month post transplant check earlier this month. All is fantastic physically, thankfully!! Unfortunately, his cognition is still not good. We had requested neological testing while we were there and the results came back with abnormalities and they don't know what is causing it. We go back for a follow-up on Dec 3. He was to return to work this month, but we are unsure when or if this is ever going to happen.

We have much to be thankful for this season. My husband's transplant and all the wonderful people we have met in this journey. In person and on here.

Happy Thanksgiving and blessings to you all,
JoDee

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Hello @jodeej Great to read your update and thank you for staying in touch here!

You raise an important point in caregiving --- being thankful for what we have -- and not focusing on what we do not have, have lost, wish we had back, or what we do not yet know! THANK YOU!

Thanksgiving has always been my very favorite holiday of the year! No gifts, trappings, etc., just a time of family, friends, feasting, sharing stories, jokes, etc., and at our tables a bit of wine. This year we are having 21, we cook the turkeys on the BBQ grills, have a huge inflated turkey in the front yard, and I even give an annual quiz between dinner and dessert!

I've found myself trying to shake the blues these past few days as my favorite holiday approaches, but without my wife. I miss her so very, very much. Your note made me think of the quote 'don't cry because it's over, celebrate because it happened!' That is what I shall do!

I will celebrate her memory and that she put up with my over-the-top love of Thanksgiving, what she called my 'moose heart' as I extended invitation after invitation to come to our home, and how I always began planning for each Thanksgiving the day after. Black Friday only means the countdown to our next Thanksgiving for me!

I will also celebrate that many of her family members will make the trek to our home to continue this celebration at her home! We'll have family and friends from Minnesota, Ohio, Kentucky, Illinois, and Indiana. We will toast her for sure!

One of my favorite memories is when we had been married only two weeks. I came home to our apartment that early July and said "What is that amazing smell? It smells like Thanksgiving!" She looked at me as if I were nuts and said "I'm cooking a turkey." I said "What? That's impossible! You can only have turkey on Thanksgiving. Where ever did you get it?" She replied "The grocery store. Where do you think I got it?"

I had never had turkey except once a year on Thanksgiving day until that day! My goodness! Not only was she Italian, but she could make me turkey dinner too --- and she wowed me even more when she made mashed potatoes -- and they weren't out of a box like my mom had always made.

Yes, that is what I will focus on, thanks to you, JoDee! What I (and we) have!

Strength, courage, and peace to all -- especially at this time of Thanksgiving!

REPLY

@indiana Scott Thanks for your great story of your Thanksgiving, Since I am a 13 generation descendant of the Pilgrims who landed in Massachusetts 348 years ago, I always feel rejected when all the stores and now even the town Christmas celebrations begin before Thanksgiving. It's like we have fortgotten the many contributions our Pilgrim fathers gave us through the Mayflower Compact from which contributed many of the ideas for the US Constitution, and our own government. I will not start my Christmas preparation until at least the day after Thanksgiving. The first Sunday in December was always the special day in my home as I was growing up. The Christmas tree was put up and decorated, a living one cut from a large hedge that grew across the front of our yard. Then my grandma and mother got busy with all kinds of cookies and candy to prepare boxes for the neighbors, the mail carrier, the milk man, church pastors. and friends. Even during WWII we had candy and cookies as my mother and grandmother were gifted in adapting recipes to use sorghum which was locally grown to sweeten almost anything. Our gifts were almost all hand made by someone in the family. My doll house was created by my father from a wooden apple crate, and I was overjoyed to find it under the Christmas tree. My grandmother always made fresh wreaths from clippings from the same hedge that provided our Christmas tree. All of our teachers received one every year at Christmas. Those were the days.

I hope all of you have a great Thanksgiving and count all your blessings even in the midst of your trials.

Ruth

REPLY
@IndianaScott

Hello @jodeej Great to read your update and thank you for staying in touch here!

You raise an important point in caregiving --- being thankful for what we have -- and not focusing on what we do not have, have lost, wish we had back, or what we do not yet know! THANK YOU!

Thanksgiving has always been my very favorite holiday of the year! No gifts, trappings, etc., just a time of family, friends, feasting, sharing stories, jokes, etc., and at our tables a bit of wine. This year we are having 21, we cook the turkeys on the BBQ grills, have a huge inflated turkey in the front yard, and I even give an annual quiz between dinner and dessert!

I've found myself trying to shake the blues these past few days as my favorite holiday approaches, but without my wife. I miss her so very, very much. Your note made me think of the quote 'don't cry because it's over, celebrate because it happened!' That is what I shall do!

I will celebrate her memory and that she put up with my over-the-top love of Thanksgiving, what she called my 'moose heart' as I extended invitation after invitation to come to our home, and how I always began planning for each Thanksgiving the day after. Black Friday only means the countdown to our next Thanksgiving for me!

I will also celebrate that many of her family members will make the trek to our home to continue this celebration at her home! We'll have family and friends from Minnesota, Ohio, Kentucky, Illinois, and Indiana. We will toast her for sure!

One of my favorite memories is when we had been married only two weeks. I came home to our apartment that early July and said "What is that amazing smell? It smells like Thanksgiving!" She looked at me as if I were nuts and said "I'm cooking a turkey." I said "What? That's impossible! You can only have turkey on Thanksgiving. Where ever did you get it?" She replied "The grocery store. Where do you think I got it?"

I had never had turkey except once a year on Thanksgiving day until that day! My goodness! Not only was she Italian, but she could make me turkey dinner too --- and she wowed me even more when she made mashed potatoes -- and they weren't out of a box like my mom had always made.

Yes, that is what I will focus on, thanks to you, JoDee! What I (and we) have!

Strength, courage, and peace to all -- especially at this time of Thanksgiving!

Jump to this post

Thank you for this truthful, heartfelt, helpful post. Thanksgiving is hard for me because my deceased daughter was born on this day. In her memory, we are donating to the local food bank.

REPLY
@rmftucker

@indiana Scott Thanks for your great story of your Thanksgiving, Since I am a 13 generation descendant of the Pilgrims who landed in Massachusetts 348 years ago, I always feel rejected when all the stores and now even the town Christmas celebrations begin before Thanksgiving. It's like we have fortgotten the many contributions our Pilgrim fathers gave us through the Mayflower Compact from which contributed many of the ideas for the US Constitution, and our own government. I will not start my Christmas preparation until at least the day after Thanksgiving. The first Sunday in December was always the special day in my home as I was growing up. The Christmas tree was put up and decorated, a living one cut from a large hedge that grew across the front of our yard. Then my grandma and mother got busy with all kinds of cookies and candy to prepare boxes for the neighbors, the mail carrier, the milk man, church pastors. and friends. Even during WWII we had candy and cookies as my mother and grandmother were gifted in adapting recipes to use sorghum which was locally grown to sweeten almost anything. Our gifts were almost all hand made by someone in the family. My doll house was created by my father from a wooden apple crate, and I was overjoyed to find it under the Christmas tree. My grandmother always made fresh wreaths from clippings from the same hedge that provided our Christmas tree. All of our teachers received one every year at Christmas. Those were the days.

I hope all of you have a great Thanksgiving and count all your blessings even in the midst of your trials.

Ruth

Jump to this post

Lovely word picture of your Christmases past! Truly lovely! Thanks for sharing and may your Thanksgiving be a wonderful one!

REPLY
@harriethodgson1

Thank you for this truthful, heartfelt, helpful post. Thanksgiving is hard for me because my deceased daughter was born on this day. In her memory, we are donating to the local food bank.

Jump to this post

I am sorry to read this @harriethodgson1 I am sure that makes this Thanksgiving especially difficult!

It is a lovely gesture to give to your food bank! What a great idea! Each year I talk with our local food kitchen and they recommend a family who could really use a special Thanksgiving and we add them to our table.

May you have much peace this Thanksgiving!

REPLY
@IndianaScott

Hello @jodeej Great to read your update and thank you for staying in touch here!

You raise an important point in caregiving --- being thankful for what we have -- and not focusing on what we do not have, have lost, wish we had back, or what we do not yet know! THANK YOU!

Thanksgiving has always been my very favorite holiday of the year! No gifts, trappings, etc., just a time of family, friends, feasting, sharing stories, jokes, etc., and at our tables a bit of wine. This year we are having 21, we cook the turkeys on the BBQ grills, have a huge inflated turkey in the front yard, and I even give an annual quiz between dinner and dessert!

I've found myself trying to shake the blues these past few days as my favorite holiday approaches, but without my wife. I miss her so very, very much. Your note made me think of the quote 'don't cry because it's over, celebrate because it happened!' That is what I shall do!

I will celebrate her memory and that she put up with my over-the-top love of Thanksgiving, what she called my 'moose heart' as I extended invitation after invitation to come to our home, and how I always began planning for each Thanksgiving the day after. Black Friday only means the countdown to our next Thanksgiving for me!

I will also celebrate that many of her family members will make the trek to our home to continue this celebration at her home! We'll have family and friends from Minnesota, Ohio, Kentucky, Illinois, and Indiana. We will toast her for sure!

One of my favorite memories is when we had been married only two weeks. I came home to our apartment that early July and said "What is that amazing smell? It smells like Thanksgiving!" She looked at me as if I were nuts and said "I'm cooking a turkey." I said "What? That's impossible! You can only have turkey on Thanksgiving. Where ever did you get it?" She replied "The grocery store. Where do you think I got it?"

I had never had turkey except once a year on Thanksgiving day until that day! My goodness! Not only was she Italian, but she could make me turkey dinner too --- and she wowed me even more when she made mashed potatoes -- and they weren't out of a box like my mom had always made.

Yes, that is what I will focus on, thanks to you, JoDee! What I (and we) have!

Strength, courage, and peace to all -- especially at this time of Thanksgiving!

Jump to this post

Amen! Thank you for sharing your memories.

REPLY
@rmftucker

@indiana Scott Thanks for your great story of your Thanksgiving, Since I am a 13 generation descendant of the Pilgrims who landed in Massachusetts 348 years ago, I always feel rejected when all the stores and now even the town Christmas celebrations begin before Thanksgiving. It's like we have fortgotten the many contributions our Pilgrim fathers gave us through the Mayflower Compact from which contributed many of the ideas for the US Constitution, and our own government. I will not start my Christmas preparation until at least the day after Thanksgiving. The first Sunday in December was always the special day in my home as I was growing up. The Christmas tree was put up and decorated, a living one cut from a large hedge that grew across the front of our yard. Then my grandma and mother got busy with all kinds of cookies and candy to prepare boxes for the neighbors, the mail carrier, the milk man, church pastors. and friends. Even during WWII we had candy and cookies as my mother and grandmother were gifted in adapting recipes to use sorghum which was locally grown to sweeten almost anything. Our gifts were almost all hand made by someone in the family. My doll house was created by my father from a wooden apple crate, and I was overjoyed to find it under the Christmas tree. My grandmother always made fresh wreaths from clippings from the same hedge that provided our Christmas tree. All of our teachers received one every year at Christmas. Those were the days.

I hope all of you have a great Thanksgiving and count all your blessings even in the midst of your trials.

Ruth

Jump to this post

@rmftucker thank you for sharing this with us. I loved reading it.
Blessings,
JoDee

REPLY

Hi all,
Just giving an update on my husband's "brain fog" journey. We saw a speech therapist today that specializes in "chemo brain", since it looks like his cognition issues are a result of the combo of his Hep C anti-virals, chemo and anti-rejection meds. We had never considered speech therapy for brain issues before, but a couple people mentioned it. The therapist was very optimistic that she will be able to develop a plan to help him. We were so excited! He will have a fairly intensive plan to begin, meeting 2-3 times a week, and taper off. I will keep you updated!

REPLY
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